Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year-old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She'd just given my sister a haircut. FML
Today, my little sister used scissors she got from school to cut my hair in the middle of the night while I was asleep. Now it looks like someone went at my hair with a chainsaw, and my school's dress code doesn't allow me to wear a hat or anything else to cover it up. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, I told off my crazy sister-in-law after she made my wife cry for putting on weight during lockdown. Then, as I was sleeping in my armchair, the crazy bitch snuck into the house and cut off every single one of my meter-long dreadlocks. Now I got a BALD HEAD. FML
Today, I got my 9 year-old daughter back from a sleepover at my mum's. My 17 year-old niece was also staying there at the same time, and heard my daughter complaining that her fringe was in her eyes. My niece decided to cut my daughter's hair. There are now chunks missing and it's all uneven. No one asked my permission. FML
Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
'Sleepwalk' into her room in a ski-mask whilst wielding a chainsaw. See if she's still smirking then.
chanellgymnast 17
What a bitch.
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Comments (105)
Frenchtony 17
Objection ! You have no proof one cannot fetch scissors, cut somebody's hair and smirk while sleepwalking... There is a reasonable doubt !
XxEmiMeowxX 12
Do that to your mom, but only a chunk in the back that she can't see. Bring it up and blame your sister for sleep walking again ;)
fsomelife 26
My bad, I posted basically the same thing right after you -- you got to it while I was writing :)
fsomelife 26
Cut your mom's hair while she's asleep. It will have to have been your sleepwalking sister who did it.
petshark 4
Shave her sleep-walking head and suggest she did it to herself, in her sleep!
mattyiscool123 26
That would be unbelievable, literally
princessAj1 6
Just like sleep walking and cutting off someone's hair.
imwagdc 15
Cut your moms hair and blame it on your sister. I'm sure your mom will have a different reaction then
LissaMccracken 23
Umm, even if she was sleep walking, why shouldn't you be upset?
profoundkisses 18
Sisters are evil
hardwoodfloors 8
Who else read this in a British accent once they saw the word mum
FrankHotpants 31
It's ok, if your sister does it then it must run in the family, so go and "sleepwalk" and cut her shit too.
nightbirdblue 27
I don't think anyone would be impressed by "cutting her shit." That seems like it would be more disgusting for OP than anything else. What would you do with the cut shit later?
FrankHotpants 31
Well if you must insist on taking that literally then yes it's rather weird.
Whatapuffchild 23
nice sister