Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year-old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She'd just given my sister a haircut. FML
Today, my little sister used scissors she got from school to cut my hair in the middle of the night while I was asleep. Now it looks like someone went at my hair with a chainsaw, and my school's dress code doesn't allow me to wear a hat or anything else to cover it up. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, I told off my crazy sister-in-law after she made my wife cry for putting on weight during lockdown. Then, as I was sleeping in my armchair, the crazy bitch snuck into the house and cut off every single one of my meter-long dreadlocks. Now I got a BALD HEAD. FML
Today, I got my 9 year-old daughter back from a sleepover at my mum's. My 17 year-old niece was also staying there at the same time, and heard my daughter complaining that her fringe was in her eyes. My niece decided to cut my daughter's hair. There are now chunks missing and it's all uneven. No one asked my permission. FML
Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
'Sleepwalk' into her room in a ski-mask whilst wielding a chainsaw. See if she's still smirking then.
chanellgymnast 17
What a bitch.
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Comments (105)
skyeyez9 25
Easy fix: "sleepwalk" into her room and give her a horrible haircut. If your mom bitches, say sleepwalking must be hereditary and you can't help it.
TogeBara 12
I wouldn't take that shit off her. I'd hog tie her and shave her bald. :3 ALSO, lock your doors when you go to sleep, if your parents have an issue with that, claim you don't want another sleepwalking incident. They can't argue with preventative measures. Even if they do you can do it anyway...
grumpybr 13
Honestly I'm yet to decide who's more of a bitch, your mom or your sister
CookieLovesBoo 16
-.- sounds like my younger brothers .
mattyiscool123 26
Just like a tv show the girl acts nice in front of the family and mean when no one is around
Sheh_fml 25
I say do the same to her. She needs to learn that actions have consequences, even if mommy is playing favourites.
duhbaby 10
I say you cut her hair and then blame it on her, say that maybe SHE didn't it on herself while she was sleeping.
daisiebud 18
Pixie cuts are beautiful and feminine and look good on everyone.
mollyjynxjax 28
Not everyone. I've seen people who've looked terrible with pixie cuts
brookieh 12
since your mom believes she was sleep walking, isn't she afriad that she could possibly do something far worse than that in the future? she should hide all the sharp things and lock your sister in her room at night so she can't come out and kill someone in their sleep.
KevinFlynn 13
move the hell out of that craziness