Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML
Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML
Today, I was comforting my friend who has a toxic relationship with her Mom. She said, "If I'm such a failure, they always make it known that I can't live up to their expectations." It caught me a bit off guard when she said, "I wish she would just leave me alone and leave my life just like your mom did." FML
Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML
Today, a woman came into my life and took all I had left in the world. The woman was my hair stylist. She took my hair and the last of my money. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML
Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML
Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of a conversation with my best friend, where we were making fun of my mum’s new haircut, to my mum. She responded with, “Well, at least my haircut can change. What are you going to do about your face?” FML
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year-old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She'd just given my sister a haircut. FML
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Top comments
Icyyy 0
YDI
Fortuitous 0
Wow, my friend, you have honestly the best jokes I have heard this side or the other.
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Comments (164)
kofinater 3
That sucks
tyronnK 0
hoe
OhMyHolyBalls 0
Shoulda just stuck with "That's what she said." :/
Thin_Ice_fml 0
Ouch.
ilovemydoodle123 0
hahhahahahahhahahahahah 19 is so right:)
mooshibear140 4
LOL. OP, similar situation happened with my friends. I was introducing my friend Adriena to an old friend from high school, Taylor. Taylor told a 'Yo Momma' joke to her. Adriena gave her a weird look. I had to pull Taylor to the side to explain that Adriena's mother died when she was a newborn. Hah, I should submit that to FML...
OhMyHolyBalls 0
#66-So it went like this? "Taylor, this is Adriena." "Nice to meet you, Taylor." "YOUR MOM IS SO FAT....."
ivyy 0
68- no dummy stuff happened in btwn lol. op-ouch that sUx but I feel worse for her. 19- ahahahahaha so true lmao
chillpill 0
bitch!!!!!
Elixa 0
wow your a total bitch, how is this your flm? if anything it's your friends flm for having such an awful and insensitive friend like you.
KingDingALing 9
You better suck her off, OP.
stephanie0613 0
Damb that sucks FHL not your's !
Jtisciyohk 0
f life my?
lostprophets7000 0
haha 104 failed at fml
Elixa 0
150 and 157, I knew exactly what I meant, so stop hating and GFY!
xxrogerthatxx 19
I would've cut your hair
VeeVeeTran 0
Ouch.
ohSNAPyall 27
Mr. T says: Remember when you put down one mother, you put down mothers all over the world. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_rBidCkJxo
trueblue42 4
lmao oops... honest mistake
Icyyy 0
YDI
ViiciousDreamz 0
Rule of thumb: If you don't have have a profile pic, gtfo or stfu.
iGrenade 0
you should give yourself those last two advices. what's the big deal? it's just a tiny image.
Fortuitous 0
Wow, my friend, you have honestly the best jokes I have heard this side or the other.
konnermoses 0
ydi
surferchick96 0
may i beh the first to say, "think before you speak"?
Fortuitous 0
Think twice, type once.
alex_mu 0
no, because the phrase is "think before you speak" , so the question mark goes out of the " ", so next time you decide to pick on someone make sure you know what you are talking about
Fortuitous 0
Whew! I avoided some serious heat from the Grammar Nazis.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
"Think*
Fortuitous 0
On FML, it should be: "Think twice, type once, and hit refresh thrice."
SuperRichFish 6
THIS FORUM IS UNDER ATTACK FROM GRAMMER NAZI'S. Time to hide. :/
Sinkhole 26
53 - That's scary! It seems like you definitely know a lot about nazis, I wouldn't have thought there were so many of them in Grammer, Indiana... Or are you talking about some sort of Kelsey Grammer-related nazis? 'Cause that would be even scarier!
skimonkey96 0
naiiiiice
rallets 23
grammer... ...bring it, im ready.
ivyy 0
umm a buncha you are wrong. it's grammAr not grammer. just sayin.
jocelyng_fml 0
am I the only one who noticed your the second not first to say this
evybeth 0
defitnetly!
morganrules123 10
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husbands cuz they correctin err'body out here!
Dudeitscaleb 0
bitch :)
Chinnithy 0
Grammer is a place is Indiana. Just letting you know.
Omorfessa 0
<3 xDDD
Bbhd05 0
Hey grammar Nazis, correct grammar would make the phrase "grammatical Nazis". Get your shit straight.
bestdayever023 0
dude..wow. it wasn't your fault for sayingthat but it was for forgetting. ouuuch):
tiger69 0
why would "like your mom" even make sense in that context. totally OP's fault for saying it
steelersfan78 0
Because OP's friend's mom won't stay with them.
Hollisss 0
If OP said it, it's OP's fault.
Cyosaric 0
I thought it was funny. My moms a ***** ;)
ashleylucky16 6
Clearly the chick up there ^^^^^^^ needs to give you her horribly revised speech about thinking before you speak...or type... Because clearly it was OP's fault. Who else is there to blame? YOUR MOM?! *zing*
Not_Ever_Telling 3
Wow, you're a dick. YDI
marxistbkly 3
I think OP would be a **** in this case.
rainbowhobos 4
Aaaaand, I'm guessing you're not friends anymoar huh...? Smoooooooth move thar.
coolkid101 0
*anymore *there
rainbowhobos 4
Well would you look at that, I have my own grammar/spelling Nazi. :] Thank you dearie for clearing that up for me.
Thanateros 1
Smooth.