Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML
Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML
Today, I was comforting my friend who has a toxic relationship with her Mom. She said, "If I'm such a failure, they always make it known that I can't live up to their expectations." It caught me a bit off guard when she said, "I wish she would just leave me alone and leave my life just like your mom did." FML
Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML
Today, a woman came into my life and took all I had left in the world. The woman was my hair stylist. She took my hair and the last of my money. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML
Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML
Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of a conversation with my best friend, where we were making fun of my mum’s new haircut, to my mum. She responded with, “Well, at least my haircut can change. What are you going to do about your face?” FML
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year-old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She'd just given my sister a haircut. FML
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Top comments
Icyyy 0
YDI
Fortuitous 0
Wow, my friend, you have honestly the best jokes I have heard this side or the other.
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Comments (164)
p3rfect_ins4nity 0
it's like your mouth reacted before your brain can realize how funny it was and at eat good timing it was said:)
kianababiee 0
F your life. 1) You have horrible comebacks/jokes. 2) You should have just said " That's what she said". 3) You should think before you speak. 4) YOUR RETARDED.
kianababiee 0
You're. My time ran out before I came back and realized my mistake. Oops :X
hedgerow 0
it didn't make any sense anyways
bieberlove1235 0
oo wow
kianababiee 0
What's the point of putting periods after every word? That doesn't create emphasis if that's what you're going for.
Blaw023 0
Grammar nazis are homosexual
my2centsworth 15
No, Grammar Nazis are not gay or homosexual. That is just wishful thinking on your part.
DisappearingRose 18
Ha. Sucks for her but I would've cut all of your hair off
elmorous 0
It would have been funny if she had quickly ran the clippers over your head in a random direction.
trese666 0
it's called think before you speak. live it.
akwardmuch 0
Way to be insensitive.