Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a peaceful walk through the park, and then sat on the grass. As I was enjoying the quiet, a dog appeared out of nowhere and decided my shoes were a chew toy. I spent 10 minutes trying to wrestle my shoes away from this dog, while its owner casually walked in the opposite direction. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
Today, my dog was about to get hit by a tree branch, so I yelled for him to move. He got mad and started barking at me. And got nailed by the tree branch. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML
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Top comments
Gloritank 8
Were you pissin on his territory?
tylersign 11
Should have gotten off his damn lawn. Kids and their shenanigans these days.
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Comments (121)
YourDone6 8
kick a bitch in the neck!
lmaoatall 6
Imagine if the tree wasn't there for you to sit in for an hour op! You may not have had a chance to post this fml. Just me looking at the bright side.
DjeePee 25
Poor dog. Really, if you can't take care of a dog properly (which also includes training the dog's behaviour), then you shouldn't have one.
Iskaria 0
It's possible the dog was trained FOR this, sadly.
lilemmy55 10
I diddnt get one word you wrote Lol
goobergirlie 5
Let me simplify: Dog mean, owner mean, owner no say sorry, man sad.
CryMoreFMLs 15
33 - I would've found it funny if her head exploded from trying to figure it out, why help her?
sillyciara 6
scary!
Sonic_boomerang 5
You were in a tree you should have busted a branch off and thrown it maybe he just wanted to play
wegetrz 14
Yea i'm sure the dog wanted to play.. with OPs flesh in his mouth D:
voodoopandaa 0
That sucks, at least you weren't injured though. I once had to have 50 stitches in my face from a dog bite, not fun.
ThatLooksSticky 16
This is the strangest FML I have ever read.
instnt1nfction 17
Hello, you must be new here.
ThatLooksSticky 16
Nope. I should clarify: I find the OP's writing style strange.
CuteDumBlonde64 11
This FML is almost a little hard to read :/ But I kinda got the jist on what you were saying..sorry op.
starfish7 18
Why? It's written using proper English grammar and composition.
Roevera 14
You should of just thrown a stick at it or your shoe.
RedPillSucks 33
Throwing a stick at your shoe would be pointless, unless you mean to amuse the dog to get on its good side.