Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I got a gift from my ex-boyfriend who's currently studying abroad. He got me a really creepy snowglobe for my "collection" as a sweet gesture, maybe to win me back. Except I don't collect snowglobes. He'd confused me with the girl he cheated on me with. FML
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Top comments
toddin 7
Tell him to go to rehab. :)
CyrusTheBlue 0
Be glad someone wants to give you something. Women are so ungrateful.
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Comments (118)
Erindub 0
I can't blame the OP for not wanting to be with him if he has a coke habit or something. Its not fair to expect her to care for him. Yes its nice to be cared about but if my abusive ex boyfriend sent me flowers and a card I'd be having an FML moment too.
DogmaT_fml 4
I'm a dick addicted to you
buffynovelli 14
dude fall out boy
StoryOfTheYear 15
lol very clever indeed 0_0 she should burn them and do return to sender
PsychoMerk 0
ungrateful much?
DogmaT_fml 4
dude probably listens to death- im dead- metal. ahh i cant live without my substance.
arman1717 0
wow sux for u
FerrariCake 2
At least you know he's serious about the "habit" thing.
RIKANA 0
cleaver and heartfelt! I'm not saying give him another chance, but at least send him a thank you card. I think it's sweet:) RI
kaileebug 0
I agree with #5 too. And I'm a girl. my best guy friend that likes me sent me a text today, challenging me to a game of PacMan. It made my day.
morella_xx 29
I'm SO sure that invitation was completely innocuous. You sound like one of those girls who, when she knows a male friend likes her, just tugs him along while never letting him out of the friend zone.
_KCunningham 0
Who cares? This is dumb. Throw them away then. Why waste everyone's time? At least someone cares about you.