Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I got a gift from my ex-boyfriend who's currently studying abroad. He got me a really creepy snowglobe for my "collection" as a sweet gesture, maybe to win me back. Except I don't collect snowglobes. He'd confused me with the girl he cheated on me with. FML
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Top comments
toddin 7
Tell him to go to rehab. :)
CyrusTheBlue 0
Be glad someone wants to give you something. Women are so ungrateful.
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Comments (118)
darkmis1 18
Tell him if he goes to rehab, you'll think about being with him again.
pillownoodle24 0
go #5! seriuosly why would you put something like this on fml? be thankful someone cares about you
meenz 0
aww atleast it's cute.
junying 0
you must admit it's kind of cute. in some sick cheesy way.
nyc718 0
How is this a fml? If you dated him before and you knew he was a druggy.. So now he wants to get back with you and his habit is a problem? Looks like you won't do any better noone else got you anything so just get back with him and stop acting as if it's the end of your life
morella_xx 29
The habit is very likely the reason he's an ex. So yes, it's probably an issue for her.
nyc718 0
67 you sound bitter did you not get anything on valentine's day? Perhaps you too can get a bouquet of roses from a druggy
pinkbubblegum 0
well i find this cute :)
Reutan 0
Wait, no one's noticed this yet? He's never gonna give her up. ~awaits the firing squad~
Intoxicunt 6
Never gonna let her down?
Reutan 0
Ehhh, I think it's a bit late for that. But I am honored to harbor your response. =P
ily1210 10
never gunna run around and desert her? LMAO; sorry i had to. OP, wow, atleast someone sent you something?
ImRawrtastic 0
if only he wasn't a druggie..
Cmaj7889 0
that's kinda.....cheezy
morella_xx 29
Hahaha. There are so many people commenting stuff like "OP's ungrateful" and you people are effing dumb. It's pretty heavily implied that she does NOT want to date him - why should she be grateful that some dude who can't take a hint (after 3 years!) has bought her something? Should she be grateful when he starts turning up everywhere she goes? "Oh, he's just interested in your schedule!" When he's hanging out outside her house? "He just wants to be with you!" Give me a break. Some people don't want a relationship with a drug addict.
nyc718 0
Actually it would still be funny.. She's not my child so ultimately I really don't care if she starts stalking her.. Happy hunting to him, but all she has to do to distract him and hide is throw a syringe and his drug of choice over his head.