Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I got a gift from my ex-boyfriend who's currently studying abroad. He got me a really creepy snowglobe for my "collection" as a sweet gesture, maybe to win me back. Except I don't collect snowglobes. He'd confused me with the girl he cheated on me with. FML
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Top comments
toddin 7
Tell him to go to rehab. :)
CyrusTheBlue 0
Be glad someone wants to give you something. Women are so ungrateful.
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Comments (118)
abudali911 3
Stop bitching you ******* diva ass *****! people like you piss me off YOU GOT A ******* VALENTINES DAY CARD BE HAPPY
CheshireHalli 19
Does mommy not love you enough? This guy seems creepy. After three years of being an ex, he can't take a hint? Five bucks say if a guy posted this about an ex-girlfriend, people would be saying the girl/stalker is awful. ******* double standards. OP, I'd tell him to leave you alone.
Ultimate_Cynic 0
Hey, OP, look on the bright side - of all the cards you could have gotten that talk about not giving you up, you got probably the only one that does NOT involve a Rickroll.
please_shoot_me 0
crush? what are you, 5? grow up
YeahFMLxX 0
IMA DICK iMA DiCKTEDDDD TO YOU :D
blastvortex 4
It was your choice to date somebody who turned out to be an addict. On the bright side, at least he knowingly appreciates you, unlike the target of your infatuations.
upshawty 0
if that's really an FML your life must be pretty good, woe is you to receive flowers on valentines day?
slyace 9
So he's a drug addict. Does that mean his feelings for you is any less real? Just be thankful someone was thoughtful anough to send you something. The least you could do is thank him for wasting some of his drug money on you. If you still don't like him, man up and tell him instead of bitching. YDI
purplemnm 9
she don't lie she don't lie she don't lie...cocaine!!!
crazies2010 0
hahahaha that's ironic
Six23 1
Lol, that kinda sounds fake, but only because who would say something that corny? Even if they are an addict?