Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because, "He's Canadian" and according to her, "They don't lie." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend dumped her after a huge fight they had, regarding him getting a haircut without talking to her first. I asked if she also needed to consult with him first before getting a haircut. Without a hint of self-awareness, she said, "Of course not. That's stupid. Why would I need his permission?" FML
Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know three hours ago, before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML
Today, instead of canceling for the third consecutive time due to work-related reasons, my boyfriend sent his twin brother on our date. They both thought I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML
Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his best friend to text my sister telling her to tell me that he was breaking up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend left me for his sister. No, not my sister. His sister. FML
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Top comments
ShannyAK 16
I'm Canadian and I lie plenty of times!
Inked0803 12
Someone is naieve
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Comments (157)
Inked0803 12
Someone is naieve
Sekkaichi 12
I think OP's sister is in denial rather than being naive.
Reaper1984 13
What are you talking aboot? You know I don't lie eh.
soccerstar1996 18
He probably couldn't get his dog sled through the snow from his igloo. Those Canadians are something aye?
VeganVampyre 27
Well if he's going by dog sled, yeah. He should be on a polar bear, much faster and more reliable. They're what all the cool kids are riding these days.
arsenicalhumor 30
#64 "aye" should be "eh", eh? Everything else you said was spot on, but you forgot the Bacon.
horneyhic 15
It's eh and don't joke that's the leading cause of death up here
AlexiAwesome 10
*näive
Inked0803 12
#152. I used Swype but thank you for the grammar lesson. Have a nice day.
ShannyAK 16
I'm Canadian and I lie plenty of times!
Poppipuff 14
I hope this isn't a lie otherwise I'm gonna be stuck in an infinite loop.
karlcolt45 19
I know #2 and she just lies nonstop :)
Sekkaichi 12
Present tense, does that mean you're lying right now? :D
lilhellian 27
Hmm present tense... Lie about lying. So you never lie, but you just lied. Making that a lie, so you lie all the time. But then that would be a truth meaning you don't always lie. My brain hurts...
little_one 20
Canadians are the best liars because we are so polite, and nice no one would believe we would lie.
mr_sarcastic416 29
lying is a Toronto thing (before you down vote or respond, I should tell you I'm also in Toronto lol)
broncos67 9
We don't lie... Unless it is necessary, which is most of the time
drewflav 17
123 - We Vancouverites rarely have issues with your kind insulting yourselves, less work for us to do :) no offense intended. OP - Canadians do lie, just like anyone else. However, your boyfriend is not representative of our general population, most of us aren't douchebags like him.
sirsquab 12
Blame Canada! Blame Canada! With their beady little eyes and their head so full of lies
desoto96 9
liar liar with Jim carry. I'm pretty sure he's Canadian.
xslurpyx 17
is that a lie?
lilny5613 10
Same!
Ominn 6
I'm Canadian too, and this guy is lying, because we never lie.
nyx12 3
I don't believe you. Liar.
Xenon1386 9
Canadians are still people and can still lie.
Damian95 16
I've never lied eh...
ZeeBest86 6
Canadians aren't people, where on earth did you get that piece of information!
Axipiter 24
Probably from the same book that says all bacon tastes the same...
IAmJad 18
Canadians are people? You're one smart cookie.
VeganVampyre 27
Of course we can lie... on the couch, drinking beer. Oh, did you mean something else?
theawkwardlife 21
What's a lie?
linyah 11
#42 is right! canadians are polar bears!
BloodMonger13 9
we canadians can't lie it's a part of our culture just like you muricans can't turn down a cheese burger
skatoolaki 24
I hate that book.
CaptNomNom 17
Everybody lies.
ripresno 10
But not Canadians.
Freethaawave 19
I'm Canadian so I would know, we never lie.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Thanks, House!
kakarot2 11
It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what.
zen1979 16
It's true, Canadians don't lie. It's one of the immutable laws of physics
mr_sarcastic416 29
Batman lies all the time
isallwaysme 27
Tough shit eh? We lie just as much as anybody. Except we say sorry a lot more too
ColdplaySucks 18
I bet she thinks Canadian Bacon is actually bacon. She's in for a big disappointment...
isallwaysme 27
What else would bacon be?
fmlswag 11
that is soo true hahaha
bornaunicorn 12
#40 Ham
olpally 33
People are really this dense?? Wow, **** both your lives.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
This makes me think of the commercial where the lady says they can't put anything on the Internet what isn't true. "uh...bonjour?"
olpally 33
Haha... I made the same comment on a previous fml... :)
VLJACK 6
Wow!
xtineb15 6
hahahahahaha
jubskant101 4
And according to the Internet neither do perverts and murders. I feel like your sister needs to get out more.
lilhellian 27
I'm a French super model! bonjour!
PenguinBitch 44
^Never less, that could be convincing and fool a lot of people. But no one cares really.
BeccaHugs 17
Take it from a Canadian: even though we are polite and helpful and love hockey and Tim Hortons and apologize for things we didn't even do, we still have some serious assholes up here. There's one in every crowd, so they say.
muise 11
I completely agree. More than one in every crowd around my town..
Freethaawave 19
T.DOT LIFE!! Lakeshoreeee
BlackRogue 8
You got that right #9! I live right in central Alberta and we got 'em in spades out here. And mo I'll wait for the Albertan jokes...
BeccaHugs 17
#94 I'm from Alberta too so don't worry I know just what you mean haha! We have thousands of amazing people, along with a few who are a bit crazy haha.
KingCeltic77 18
If he doesn't lie, than why is she so upset? She needs to lay down the law in that relationship.
alexangel33 18
The guy who likes big butts doesn't lie either
license2chill 5
I wonder what she thinks about the reason of her bf didn't show up, if her bf didn't lie. Abducted by aliens every time he goes to a date?
spiritfang11237 16
No, that would be silly and unbelievable. He was obviously being held for ransom by sirens.