Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
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Top comments
lishajoy777 14
Your Grandma is AWESOME!
zombieslayer83 19
Did pay the gas bill though!
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Comments (172)
xRezSynn 15
You got a cool grandma, OP.
Chris20003 17
Hopefully it was because she was laughing lol cause thats one of the funniest fart jokes I have ever heard.
braddenfitch 7
That's awesome!
bigtime_rocker 11
I ******* LOVE your grandmother!!!
MnSnowta218 8
Hey, at least your girlfriend had a sense of humor about it and didn't find it completely repulsive! I once had a boyfriend who refused to visit my grandmother with me because she got the walking farts all of the time and he thought it was "too embarrassing" haha.
d3athg0dd355 4
Some woman almost ran over my aunt and baby cousins at Walmart and my grandma said "where's that bitches at? Lets go key it!" Gotta luv granny's, kudos all around :)
cassyheath 2
Awesomeness!!
Sonotsuave 35
wow uh, very mature girls u got in your life
friscosoonerkid 3
Why is it when old people fart at a table everyone thinks its funny but when I do it I get called immature? It's just methane gas.
ummmmsoyah 5
Whoopsy grandma had a poopsie