Intimacy: Bored

Bored

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 11:44 - Australia

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 398

You deserved it 7 267

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Time to shop

By Anon - 24/03/2021 00:30

Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 450

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 243

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 382

You deserved it 4 984

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 792

You deserved it 7 618

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 173

You deserved it 4 850

A man without a plan

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 16:30

Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 822

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 900

You deserved it 10 071

By Ouch - 14/07/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 560

You deserved it 15 519

Right place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 22/01/2009 16:09 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 209

You deserved it 29 825

Barf

By Danielle - 25/10/2020 11:02

Today, I threw up during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 188

tinker9107 1

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:20

Was it that boring ?

thisisafunnyname 12

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:39

Maybe instead of "get out more" you should say "get it in more"

Comments

xcheezecaykx 4

Tuesday 1 October 2013 14:11

I always think of unrelated shit during sex with my girlfriend. like where we're gonna go afterward >.

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The Top

Today, my perfect princess sister is finally going to jail where she belongs. My parents, who doted on her while dumping shit on me, blame me for “being a bad influence and not talking to the judge on her behalf.” I’m a technical engineer; what influence do they think I have in a criminal court? FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 53

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 342

You deserved it 7 901

The Top

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason she asked me to shave my beard. When I go down on her shaved, it feels more like her ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 3 863

Today, my boyfriend's mum yelled at me for, "nagging Stephen to get married when he isn't ready." I mentioned marriage once. At my sister's wedding. When prompted by my grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 324

Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 952

You deserved it 50 428

Today, I rear-ended someone while trying to watch my odometer hit 80,000 miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 7 385

If a tree falls in a parking lot and nobody flinches, did it really fall at all?

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 103

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 155

You deserved it 4 513