Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
softrally 15
What drawer was he intending to pee into? O.o
_GoodGuy 11
That would "piss" me off.
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Comments (106)
RoboCunnilingus 23
Of course, #20, gosh. I bet you don't know there's a poop dresser either.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Now tell him to go out and buy you new socks along with a new dresser. Problem solved
CooperRage 13
My boy was "sleep peeing" for a while. Couldn't just "sleep walk."
lylotrezor 20
Oh, come on. I know he was drunk, but you just KNOW what drawer you're supposed to pee in.
KiddNYC1O 20
Are you Lois Griffin?
kristabelli 19
I really hope he was sleepwalking, OP! My husband did that once into a bowl which was beside the bed. I was SO mad at him; it took him awhile to convince me he was asleep and thought it was the toilet.
razzledazzle21 23
55 - He was drunk, I'm sure that's why he did it!
Futacy 29
He sounds drunk as hell.
AshleyScruggs 14
Do you have a therapist?
courtz94 24
Well he is drunk, so it's to be expected that he'd so something stupid. Most people do when they're drunk. Some just do worse things than others. Clothes can be washed.