Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
softrally 15
What drawer was he intending to pee into? O.o
_GoodGuy 11
That would "piss" me off.
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Comments (106)
pam241 15
Why are you peeing in any drawer?
BadKitty13 28
LOL !! Sorry -- It is kinda funny .......
ImAFaker 29
Good for you... Next time laugh to yourself and don't waste these precious comments. :)
BadKitty13 28
And MY comment was the worst ?? Some of the buried comments were way worse than mine. IT'S STILL FUNNY -- I don't give a Rats Ass if anyone likes my comment or not.
punkyboy 11
your supposed to pee in the underwear drawer everyobody knows that
threer 30
Everybody*
punkyboy 11
sorry I was just trying to get my comment out quick I didn't check for spelling errors
Confused77 3
Awkward, I wonder where else in the house he has left his "presents"..
DopeyPucca 7
Point:p Maybe in the honey jar?
rich443 22
at least he peeing on something you can live without but really why a drawer why not out the window
AshleyScruggs 14
Perhaps she would prefer him pissing in the toilet.
rich443 22
the toilet is over rated plus there's monsters in there
Ginger7322 10
That must have pissed you off
bandeek 30
I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.
BlissfulLiss 18
I never knew there was a right drawer to pee in. I guess everyday is a school day.
NicaLovesDisney 17
I hope you make him clean up the mess.
Damian95 16
Has there been a specific drawer to pee in this whole time?! Nothing will ever be the same...
yourmurderscenex 13
i hope you found the humor in this. but definitely make him clean that up. if he doesn't let his socks dry and have him walk around in his own piss. lesson learned.