Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
softrally 15
What drawer was he intending to pee into? O.o
_GoodGuy 11
That would "piss" me off.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
Sfaizi24 17
57 SHERLOCK HAS CRACKED THE CASE
graceinsheepwear 33
Urine is actually not that dirty. It is considered sterile until it leaves the body.
jessaaroooo 6
Well usually people piss in the underwear drawer
Athleticism 11
[Posts another comment that directly has nothing to do with the comment.]
graceinsheepwear 33
Maybe the last time he whipped it out, someone told him to keep it in his drawers and it stuck with him.
AshleyScruggs 14
When I was in highschool my geography teacher told our class that people used urine to clean their clothes in the "olden days."
Futacy 29
Urine is 95% water, and the rest is just urea, toxins that are being cleaned out of your blood stream (in this case, it would be a lot of alcohol).
CharresBarkrey 15
You will never be able to have kids.
AngelSpit 18
omg I couldn't help it I burst out laughing that's an interesting situation to find you're in. he sure seems like a whiz kid. seriously though on a scale of 1 to 10 of the weirdest shit I've heard, you're an eight.
kristabelli 19
Drunk yes, but I'd say it takes a bit more than that to take a pee in your own sock drawer! Having a lot of experience living with a sleepwalker, that is what this sounds like to me. (Sleepwalking is worse when drunk, too.) Plus, his response didn't make much sense.