Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML
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Top comments
azcardinals1307 2
well, it does depend on the location, but that's pretty harsh of them.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Anything to do with Scandanavia is awesome.
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Comments (223)
azcardinals1307 2
well, it does depend on the location, but that's pretty harsh of them.
Keyman1212 14
Start cussing at them in Swedish, and tell them you'll kill them in their sleep in Swedish. It'll make em want to learn when they wake up with you watching them, with your head turned, and a smile on your face.
StoryOfTheYear 15
17- Finnish is always an alternative.
shannonreneee 11
The fact that you learnt one language in a year shows how smart you are! Picking up another language will be easier now. Well done.
kcircuses2 4
41-learnt?
NabbdjuretPerry 0
Useless? He can talk with the swedish girls now!
leadman1989 16
Yes, learnt, and spelt, are both accurate terms as well as learned and spelled. When in doubt google.
YourEvilHero 12
I'd rather learn something more common like spanish or Indian so I know what they're saying at 7-11
thehoneybadger 10
It's not called "Indian"
lilmisslovely13 15
It would be better if you're family was swedish :)
nachos99 0
It not Indian it's Hindi
Vasin_fml 15
I believe you're thinking of Arabic.
muhaidib 2
No, 169, they don't speak Arabic in India, maybe some Muslims can read the Holy Quran in Arabic but that's basically it. There are many Languages in India and many speak English. Arabic is only officially spoken in the Middle East.
thehoneybadger 10
Arabic? How geographically challenged are you?!
Vasin_fml 15
I wasn't talking about people from India, someone was trying to name the language used by people from 7-11. So Arabic is right, at least where I live.
TKmax 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It is lol
22cute 17
It's very useful in Sweeden. And that's a fabulous place to live.
aeshleyrose 6
#2 I got $50 on the presumption that you only speak one language.
baconftw 9
Not useless in sweden :P
CryMoreFMLs 15
It's not useless, you can say anything you want around your family and they'll never know the difference. Ex: Calling your mother a bitch but telling her you said she was awesome.
TKmax 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Unfortunately for u I speak 3
CryMoreFMLs 15
Too bad for you 95 she probably won't send you it anyway. Besides, on the internet I know all languages because I can use translators. It's not that impressive online TBH.
supertacowaffle 41
Ah nej du inte! Oh no you didn't!
aeshleyrose 6
#'s 2 & 95 - Really? Name them.
GigaPudding_fml 24
Hahaha, 110 - you've got to love Google translate... "Oh no you didn't" would be "Åh nej, det gjorde du inte!" in Swedish ^^
GigaPudding_fml 24
Hahaha ^^ Probably! Det är bra att vi är här för att hjälpa till med vårt "useless language" ;)
morinalexandra 4
Hahahahaha sooo wrong
morinalexandra 4
Jag kan också hjälpa till!
snjegulicaaa 1
Hahaha ja eksakt.. :D det är så roligt när ingen kan förstå oss :P
dfc09 5
Though you clearly struggle with English.
jokerzthe 5
It's not
supertacowaffle 41
No it's not useless, cos now you can buy something from IKEA, and hand them the instructions and say is it a useless language now?
iphonegirl_fml 0
i see what they mean
Notimetobleed 14
skruva du familj så älskar jag besöker sverige
anencephalic 14
161 - du är bra rolig du.
Midrash 5
She lives in Canada, so yea, it's a pretty useless language to learn.
hebron77 0
If he happens to meet a Swedish person that doesn't know English, bam, he's all set. What language do want him to learn, Spanish? Swedish really isn't so useless in Canada.
YayFlameWarz 9
It's not useless but I would assume they'd have been more impressed with some form of Chinese or an Islamic language because if you were a buisnessman/woman the oppurtunities for over seas sale are immense. Then again your family could just be ignorant.
anencephalic 14
87 - 89% of the Swedish population is, more or less, fluent in English.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Anything to do with Scandanavia is awesome.
enonymous 9
Interesting you put up the Vikings picture right after a post of Scandinavia... Well played SoTY... Well played... Just not at the QB position
StoryOfTheYear 15
:D I think he will play alright, and if the stars (and I mean every star) aligns something good could come out of it. Meh, I'm born and raised a Vikings fan. I'll be wearing purple all my life.
enonymous 9
You're about 40 years late on the greatness of the Vikings... At least you had 1998 before a miss field goal and 2009 before Chilly ruined it
StoryOfTheYear 15
I'll never get over 2009. It's not the loss, it's the reasons they lost. Yah, at least I got to watch the Packers win another ring. That's always fun. Wish I could've seen Tarkenton play though.
ItsTheKing 10
Go METS! Wait...
aeshleyrose 6
Tosi tarina, #6 :)
cBlackout 13
Saints
snippyxD 7
Op totally learned to wrong Scandinavian language... GO NORWEGIAN!!!!
kareltje 17
Well, seriously... If you are fluent in Swedish, it's only just a small step to Norwegian. At least the reading will be totally painless.
Notimetobleed 14
I am from Norway but speak fluent in Svenska and Suomi. Very fun languages, much like each other! Selvfølgelig snakke jeg Norsk...
alstbv12 13
Speak to them only in Swedish.
kickazz16 15
Speak to her only In Swedish! And buy some Swedish fish :)
Ha1r1nY0S0up 15
Hahaha all that work down the drain
enonymous 9
Finally someone who can read my ikea instructions. Here's the ****** up Allen wrench now put my whole dinning and living room set together