Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML
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Top comments
azcardinals1307 2
well, it does depend on the location, but that's pretty harsh of them.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Anything to do with Scandanavia is awesome.
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Comments (223)
jerico616 14
That ranks up there with saying that you are fluent in Latin!
Schiffy 18
According to the ignorant, no one speaks any Nordic languages
stevenmx86 8
I mean she's pretty correct... At least it isn't a dead language but it IS pretty useless...
sourspraykay 8
An FML shows up about another language and suddenly all the comments are in that language...
CrazyManNo9 29
A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. “Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. “Excusez-moi, parlez vous Fracais?” he tries. The two continue to stare. “Parlare Italiano?” No response. “Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.” “Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”
wiilska 1
You know that a Swiss is a person from Switzerland right? A Swede is from Sweden.
owo_fml 9
That's nice. I'm glad you know The distinction. I'm pretty sure the guy was just telling a joke though.
popples2112 2
well it kinda is unless you live in or near Sweden
wiilska 1
Bra jobbat, även fast jag är liiite osäker på om du verkligen kan prata svenska flytande helt. Annars så, go Sweden go! ;D
gleeklove 2
Just start cursing at them in Swedish ;)
dottersvea 5
I think you should get a lot more credit for learning swedish. it's a really tough language to learn if you're not swedish yourself. bra jobbat! i hope you'll come here to practise it, then you'll see that it's not useless. lots of hugs from sweden
live_2_eat 5
That's harsh. It may not be the most widely used language, but I personally still think it's pretty damn cool you can speak it! Just go have a long holiday in Sweden then when you get back tell your family how amazing your holiday was and how useful it was to be able to speak fluent Swedish ;)