jokerzthe

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Jokerzthe's favorite FMLs

That one friend

By LeftOut - 13/04/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, I saw my friends talking about plans for later during lunch. I walked over and asked for the plan. My best friend of 12 years gently took me aside, and said "You know that person in each group of friends that is only around to be made fun of? That's you." I just got dumped by my friends. FML

agreeclassic 80 115

vote type 1 4 897

You had one job!

By dgilbs - 12/11/2012 22:08 - United States - Grosse Pointe

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

agreeclassic 7 423

vote type 1 55 354

By Eganstein - 12/11/2012 00:50 - United States

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

agreeclassic 29 390

vote type 1 2 731

Eganstein app_comment_confession_title

Eganstein 3

Saturday 17 November 2012 21:45

Just an update, she is in the hospital doing better, and my throat is in tact. And for everyone telling me to leave her, its not gonna happen

By jesushelpme - 22/10/2012 19:08 - United States - Nixa

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

agreeclassic 32 162

vote type 1 5 597

Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

By TheVirginJenny - 07/10/2012 00:05 - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

agreeclassic 33 321

vote type 1 7 908