Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML
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Top comments
azcardinals1307 2
well, it does depend on the location, but that's pretty harsh of them.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Anything to do with Scandanavia is awesome.
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Comments (223)
Stockholm06 3
Actually, you can speak Swedish in, Sweden, Norway, Denmark and Finland. Also it helps you understand German.
TerryO 3
Are you stupid? German's not even close to Swedish
Stockholm06 3
Read again. It helps you understand, some words are very alike.
Hald 10
In Denmark i would use english, Danes don't like swedish, it sounds stupid, Norwegian are easier to understand for Danish people, if I have to talk to Swedish people I change to English, Swedish is just waste of time..
kareltje 17
You clearly have no clue what you're talking about...
tbe99 2
aww, they hurt your feelings? Maybe now that you're in the "real world" you'll figure out that not everyone exists to make you feel good about yourself, especially after one year of a foreign language, which you probably aren't actually fluent in.
cobra_comm 12
Not if u go to ikea :)
AtrumMessor 1
Unless you're going to Sweden, they're right. Given that the Swedes were never exactly expansionist, it's not really a language that's going to help you anywhere else...
saksxalmo 20
Not Scandinavian, are you? There were two major power in Scandinavia historically: Denmark and *gasp* Sweden. Plus there were, you know, vikings??
Girl_No_2 2
wait, we're supposed to believe that after ONE year you're fluent in swedish? i don't hink so kid, nice try.
Jem777 6
Din mamma kan dra åt helvete Oh, that's just swedish for "Your mother can go to hell" :)
Hedda1 0
Det är inte värdelöst! Sorry, men jag hatar din familj. Säg att om du vinner Nobelpriset så måste du ju åka till Sverige!
fogrunner 13
True. Jäla minoritetsspråk. Alla borde snacka engelska :D
cynicalhumanist 9
Så sant. Fjortisarna försöker ju införa engelska så gott de kan, men tyvärr är de lika värdelösa på engelska som på svenska...
junjunbun 28
måste hålla med #120
dogpup4 23
Really? Isn't Spanish one of the most common languages in the world (with Russian and English I think)? If I'm correct then it certainly isn't useless..
go_SENS_go_fml 3
it's Swedish he's talking about..
saidawhiting 14
You should probably learn to read more carefully. The OP learned SWEDISH, not Spanish.
eln3mo13 8
epic fail
Zmmy 0
Kan du svensk forstår du vel kanskje norsk også :) greetings from a viking.