Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML
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Top comments
azcardinals1307 2
well, it does depend on the location, but that's pretty harsh of them.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Anything to do with Scandanavia is awesome.
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Comments (223)
steelarsman 0
That bit**! I'm Swedish..
sundsvall 1
Svenska är awesome! Skit i vad din familj tycker. Gå runt och prata som Peter Stormare istället! Swedish is awesome! Dont bother what your family thinks. Walk around and talk like Peter Stormare instead!
aragmir 13
I could come over and strangle your mom with my long blond viking beard, and you would be the only one that could tell me to stop. Not so useless anymore!!! ;D Hälsningar från Sverige / Greetings from Sweden
CaptainCats 14
Not a useless language if you plan to move to Sverige!
aymer31 0
How do u say i love hockey
mikkkan 1
Jag älskar hockey
Milbeo 1
Well, acutally that's how you write it. To know how to pronounce "jag älskar hockey" you need to write it in phonetic writing. And that would be something like: "jɑ:g ælskʌr hockey". (Hockey is pronounced pretty much the same in swedish as in english). Don't forget to roll the r! The g-sound can be eliminated to get at better flow. Good luck.
KK3137 31
Swedish FTW! Actually it's a great language, very good even just for learning other ones later. Also, it's really close to Norwegian and Danish, so you can understand the whole of Scandinavia, and about half the people in Finland understand/speak Swedish too. Congrats btw! :)
MeMeek 0
How could you be fluent after just a year? You were just bragging!
Evan2297 0
Swedish is a great language, along with German.
cimh 9
Since when is any language useless? I mean at least the spoken ones at least! Sorry OP that your family thinks different. Keep up with learning languages as long as YOU want it!
blarghonk117 0
You can understand Notch in his native tongue!