Awkwaaaaaaard

By Zoe Avila - 09/08/2011 22:55 - United States

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 898
You deserved it 9 089
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Top comments

dreamering 16

You got to teach your husband what bathroom is there for.

125 2

Comments

andy_l 14

You kinda have to get a dog now.

52 3
howdmynosego 12

So do you bring plastic bags when you go out with him

60 0
Iamnotmyself 17

I don't know about you, but, have you considered retraining?

41 1
Jacobt24 19

The husband must've eaten something spicy if he was pooping on the fire escape . .

51 6
YourEvilHero 12

I would have told her I don't have a dog and said I have no clue how you got shit on your groceries

16 16
rplovez 9

Or he just really doesn't like the neighbor :P

11 1
Jennyboo5797 4

Break out the trusty ol' newspaper and beat his ass for pooping in the wrong place! ;)

37 1
Ali_Br_fml 33

Lolz @ 60 or lay the newspaper down on the fire escape so he can use it. You need to start walking your husband so he will stop having "accidents" in neighbors' groceries... People can't leave groceries on fire escapes without animals crapping in them...(sarcasm) If someone stole them whose fault would it be? It's the neighbor's fault. What if it started raining??? Wet groceries? Don't leave groceries outside.

18 0
TheRealHouse 7

This takes telling someone to "eat shit" to a whole new level

25 0
Pixxio_O 11

Now the government has to pay for "husband poo" bins in parks...

14 2
idancewithrev 0

that's embarassing...I guess I was a little drunk.

10 1
ktateprado 0

Or just wait until he does it again, then push him off.

7 0
kdawg360 0

****** up dude All that is ridiculous Keep your husband on a leash Ewwwwww

3 2
PutItIn 8

Wait till they find out you don't have a dog.

2 3
zakkyzebra 11

So you're telling me you don't shit?

65 4
cc_the_beast 6

Girls don't shit, or fart.

56 10
flashback.miss 28

@ 2 I think it'd be obvious why that natural function exists =p

3 1
androiddestroya 7

everybody poops :D

14 1
ktateprado 0

Shit happens. But still, that's a shitty situation to be in.

7 5
bananiesrnanies 0

She *****. Just not on the fire escape dumbass

4 2
dreamering 16

You got to teach your husband what bathroom is there for.

125 2
BIEBERSLAYER 10

Smack him with a newspaper and rub his face in it next time

26 0
iJeremyTyler 0

OP: She's coming! Husband: Got it! OP: 3, 2, 1, bombs away! Neighbor:... WTF?

23 0
lalala2589 0

OP, why you married to this barbaric moron?

1 5
Zareen 0

This is why someone decided to create bathrooms...

1 0
Brool_Story_Co 17

Maybe you should have put that money towards getting another bathroom so you don't have to shit in the fire escape

78 1
raphanne_fml 33

Yeah, first behind a dumpster and now on the fire escape? What's wrong with your bathroom?

22 0
StopDropNRoll 11

Bathrooms are over rated =P

2 1
THEKAISER 4

Lol for awhile i thought i was the only one who does that

34 51
preetaleet 9

Someone needs to go back to potty training school

19 33
tona01 16

She did, she now has a diploma hanging in her bathroom and a little statue of a toilet

13 1
preetaleet 9

Yes,Yes I do have a potty diploma.

7 0
alex6946 10

So your husband just crapped on the fire escape? lol that's strange

46 3
BiGD3317 0

honey why didn't you tell me we had snickers. Snickers?? that's doo doo baby!

7 22