Awkwaaaaaaard

By Zoe Avila - 09/08/2011 22:55 - United States

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 829
You deserved it 9 045

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Stop hogging the bathroom!

You got to teach your husband what bathroom is there for.

Comments

Stop hogging the bathroom!

You kinda have to get a dog now.

So do you bring plastic bags when you go out with him

I don't know about you, but, have you considered retraining?

The husband must've eaten something spicy if he was pooping on the fire escape . .

I would have told her I don't have a dog and said I have no clue how you got shit on your groceries

He just he just shitted on em!!

Or he just really doesn't like the neighbor :P

Break out the trusty ol' newspaper and beat his ass for pooping in the wrong place! ;)

Lolz @ 60 or lay the newspaper down on the fire escape so he can use it. You need to start walking your husband so he will stop having "accidents" in neighbors' groceries... People can't leave groceries on fire escapes without animals crapping in them...(sarcasm) If someone stole them whose fault would it be? It's the neighbor's fault. What if it started raining??? Wet groceries? Don't leave groceries outside.

This takes telling someone to "eat shit" to a whole new level

Now the government has to pay for "husband poo" bins in parks...

that's embarassing...I guess I was a little drunk.

Or just wait until he does it again, then push him off.

Fucked up dude All that is ridiculous Keep your husband on a leash Ewwwwww

Wait till they find out you don't have a dog.

Why was your husband pooping ??

So you're telling me you don't shit?

Girls don't shit, or fart.

Neither do gays :)

@ 2 I think it'd be obvious why that natural function exists =p

Cause people poop u retard

everybody poops :D

Shit happens. But still, that's a shitty situation to be in.

She shits. Just not on the fire escape dumbass

Good use of shit

You got to teach your husband what bathroom is there for.

Smack him with a newspaper and rub his face in it next time

OP: She's coming! Husband: Got it! OP: 3, 2, 1, bombs away! Neighbor:... WTF?

Neighbor: Damn it, not again!

OP, why you married to this barbaric moron?

This is why someone decided to create bathrooms...

Maybe you should have put that money towards getting another bathroom so you don't have to shit in the fire escape

Yeah, first behind a dumpster and now on the fire escape? What's wrong with your bathroom?

Bathrooms are over rated =P

too mainstream

Lol for awhile i thought i was the only one who does that

someone needs to train your husband

Cesar Milan, ofcourse.

Lol he is a BEAST

Someone needs to go back to potty training school

You went to school for that?

She did, she now has a diploma hanging in her bathroom and a little statue of a toilet

Yes,Yes I do have a potty diploma.

What is wrong with your husband?

He needs potty training

What is your problem dressed as a cat!

So your husband just crapped on the fire escape? lol that's strange

honey why didn't you tell me we had snickers. Snickers?? that's doo doo baby!