Today, I visited my son at work and found his secretary in the foetal position under her desk, crying. According to my son, she does that sometimes when he yells at her for making basic mistakes. My god, I’ve raised a high-powered corporate monster. Fuck that poor girl's life and also, FML
Today, I got fired on my second day on the job. I'd said that I was the former manager of a Sears that had permanently closed. Thinking they wouldn’t call and verify since it was closed, I put it on my resume. Turns out one of my coworkers used to work there for 10 years and said he never heard of me. FML
Today, I got fired. Not because of anything I did, but because my best friend, who'd I'd gotten hired, stood up for herself when both the owner's wife and daughter became disrespectful professionally. She then quit and got a job with a competitor. They started looking at her LinkedIn. Two weeks later, I get canned. FML
Today, I opened a can of beans at work, and instead of pouring out, the whole can plopped out, splashing bean juice all over my clothes and in my hair. Guess I'm taking a second shower today. FML
Today, I quit my job after being the only one to do my job, the boss's job, and the other guy’s job. Their way of saying thank you for being the best employee they'd had was to fuck me on my paycheque and give me $70 for a week's work. FML
Today, I accidentally joined my Zoom class meeting with my cam girl account. The whole class now knows what my breasts look like, and know that my nickname is “CumKitten.” FML
Today, my assistant booked me an important meeting tomorrow, which is also our anniversary. My boss says I can’t miss the meeting or I’ll be sacked, and since I forgot our anniversary last year, my wife swears she’ll divorce me if I miss this year. I have no good options here. FML
Today, my ex shot me. Actually shot me. After I woke up from surgery, I told my manager I would obviously need sick leave. She told me she was shot in the army, and got over it because she’s "not a pussy", so she expects me back at work, recovering from a gunshot to the chest, by Tuesday. FML
Today, I found out some of my colleagues made a Teams group named “WHPJ” Which stands for “We Hate (My first initial) (My last initial)." They post candid photos of me that were taken without my consent, and make jokes about me. These people pretend to be nice to me at work everyday. FML
Today, I finally found the perfect quote to open my college essay. Then I found out that the author was one of the founders of the KKK. FML
Today, I found out I'm failing school. Why am I failing? Because I work 60 hours a week. Why do I work 60 hours a week? To pay for school. FML
Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML
Today, I was written up at work for "leering at my boss". I'm so sorry for having my eyes sore due to lack of sleep. FML
Today, I answered a call from a customer. She expected me to exchange her item without her actually having to go to one of our 800+ stores. FML
Today, I summoned the courage to go into my boss’s office and ask for a raise. He yelled at me, called me “ungrateful”, asked how dare I ask him such a question, and that I’m lucky to even have a job in the first place. I ended up reduced to tears. FML
Today, I was sent home for refusing to sign a write up at my restaurant. A customer insisted that she doesn’t drink soda so she’d like a ginger ale. I calmly explained to her that ginger ale is in fact soda. She told management I was being condescending and rude, because she didn’t believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I wouldn't use $5,000 to build him a new gaming computer with my surrogate compensation, even though he basically refuses to get a job. FML
Today, my coworkers have decided I'm a racist. Not because I started shouting racist slurs or something, but because I used to be a server, and they saw a TikTok video that said that all servers are secretly racist. Since it's on TikTok, it's obviously true, right? FML
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
Today, four years after coming back home from working in another country, I got a tax bill from that country. For my income there from two years ago. If they give me the money I supposedly earned, I'll gladly pay those taxes. FML
Today, I had to write an essay for school explaining what motivates me to study. The more I tried to write it, the more I realized I've been wasting my time going back to school, and I never really wanted it. FML
Today, on my first day off in over a week of working for my new job, and covering for a sickness at work, I get called into work for an audit… which we failed due to a lack of training. Where is the manager who's supposed to be training me? On holiday in Spain. Oh and my partner is considering divorce due to work. FML
Today, after a very long and stressful day at school, I had to go to work right after. There's no better way to start my shift than getting screamed at by a Karen. FML
Today, I aced a job interview with my favourite start up. I really want to work there, but with my baby and toddler, chores, and general lack of support system, I can't pursue my dream job. Which I would screw up heavily from fatigue even if I did. FML
Today, an elderly patient complained because I used the words "vaginal" and "breast". I work at an OB-GYN's office. FML
Today, I'm confused. My incredibly hot coworkers thought I was repulsive for the past two years, but now that they've heard through the grapevine that I'm in a serious relationship, they won't leave me alone. I can't get through the day without being hit on. I hate it. FML
Today, I scored an interview with a hospital nearby my house, and so I ordered a car 30 minutes before. There were four people in the same car that were picked up AFTER, and dropped off BEFORE me, causing me to miss my interview. The hospital then stopped interviewing for the same position I wanted. FML
Today, I quit my job after I overheard my boss doing a 'hysterical' impression of me telling her about my dad's heart condition. FML
Today, and for the last 6 months, a coworker of mine is sleeping on the job and we're the first faces the public sees. Multiple coworkers and I have submitted complaints, videos, and interviews regarding this, and still nothing is happening. My supervisor came and saw what was happening and yet still nothing. A lot of extra work is on me. FML
Today, as the only female manager, I had to talk to a worker about her hygiene. I asked if she had the means and a place to shower. She rolled her eyes and said of course she did, but found daily bathing unnecessary, and that a couple times a month does her just fine. The whole staff would disagree. FML
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