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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML?

Feel like sharing it with the other users of FML?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story passes through the moderation process, it will published in the next 24 hours.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Scary

    Worst enemy

    By vitalcheese - 20/05/2009 19:12 - United States

    Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner… Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML
    agreeclassic 46 191
    vote type 1 8 228
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    Stealth mode

    By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

    Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
    agreeclassic 20 636
    vote type 1 48 178
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    Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

    By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

    Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
    agreeclassic 40 319
    vote type 1 23 919
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    Top FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, after receiving yet again a dozen insulting texts, I realized that my dog has way better grammar than my ex. FML
    agreeclassic 663
    vote type 1 165
    Today, I finished a website that I have been working on for ages for a friend. He tried to repay me by offering to teach me to play table tennis. FML
    agreeclassic 26 717
    vote type 1 4 221
    Today, I was made to do checkout training at the supermarket I work in. My third customer spent £90 on food, and whilst I was serving her, she talked about her 6 kids and her ex. Only four hours of this shit to go. FML
    agreeclassic 346
    vote type 1 641
    Today, at my first AA meeting, my best friend thought it would be funny to burst in drunk and tell everyone that I was the champion at beer pong and that there was a party at my place after my "quitter club" ended. FML
    agreeclassic 11 575
    vote type 1 942
    Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML
    agreeclassic 14 758
    vote type 1 1 326
    Today, I was barely out of the shower when someone knocked on the door. Thinking it was my husband, I opened the door wearing just a bathrobe. It was my husband. With two cops. "Do you know this man?" FML
    agreeclassic 6 448
    vote type 1 584
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