Scary

Worst enemy

By vitalcheese - 20/05/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner… Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 194

You deserved it 8 229

Stealth mode

By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 640

You deserved it 48 184

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 319

You deserved it 23 924

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Clothes Work Awkward Family Kids Love Public freakouts Break-ups Addiction Scary Health Pregnancy Intimacy Sex Miscellaneous Friends Pranks Weird Music Bodyshaming Healthy Lifestyle Allergies Annoying Messy Animals Dogs Cute Moving home ACAB

The Top

The Top

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 801

You deserved it 4 932

Today, I had an extremely embarrassing moment when I tried to pay my restaurant bill. First, I tried swiping my card, only for it not to work. After the cashier suggested I insert my chip card, I tried putting it on the bottom, only for it not to be there. I finished by putting the card in the proper place upside-down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 171

Today, I let my little sister play a game using my Facebook account. She then accepted all of the people that had sent me a friend request. Among them included my boyfriend's crazy ex, and 3 people I've never met. Now I'm getting strange messages from all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 287

You deserved it 5 046

Today, it was my birthday. It was also the only day my family wanted to hold the graveside funeral for my grandmother, who passed last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 153

You deserved it 2 698

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 585

You deserved it 2 463

Today, the canine behaviour course I am studying released a new assignment in which I need to film myself teaching a dog a new trick. The only dog I have access to is my sister's neurotic, anxious Chihuahua who bites at any sudden noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 696

You deserved it 2 885