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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Scary

    Worst enemy

    By vitalcheese - 20/05/2009 19:12 - United States

    Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner… Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 46 194
    You deserved it 8 229
    Share  

    Stealth mode

    By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

    Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 20 640
    You deserved it 48 184
    Share  

    Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

    By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

    Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 40 319
    You deserved it 23 924
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    Keywords

    Embarrassing Clothes Awkward Work Family Kids Public freakouts Love Break-ups Addiction Scary Health Sex Pregnancy Intimacy Friends Miscellaneous Pranks Weird Music Bodyshaming Healthy Lifestyle Allergies Annoying Dogs Messy Animals Cute Moving home ACAB
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    Today, my girlfriend finally came over to watch a movie with me after weeks of being really busy. As a treat she brought chocolate cookies, which she knows I can't eat. I am allergic to chocolate. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 829
    You deserved it 269
    Today, I finally had an weird sex dream after a long time. I was the center of attention of a group of guys, but on closer look, they were all clones of my husband. Multiple copies of my husband. Guess I'm monogamous for life. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 746
    You deserved it 426
    Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 046
    You deserved it 3 889
    Today, my friend drove up a parking lot and I unbuckled my seatbelt as soon as we were parked. He then suddenly saw a better spot right in front and moved his car. When I got out, a police officer approached me, saying I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. I was fined for that. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 944
    You deserved it 5 028
    Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 42 388
    You deserved it 10 416
    Today, I asked my classmate if she was ready for the final tomorrow and she said it was yesterday. I'm not a bad student - I have 90+ average in the class - but the final was 50% of my grade. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 4 564
    You deserved it 1 905
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