Scary

Stealth mode

By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 636

You deserved it 48 178

Freaked out

By The Buzzing - 28/07/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 169

KKK recruitment drive

By lordoftheweird - 16/05/2022 02:00

Today, I had to explain to multiple people that even though I'm white, I have no interest in joining a hate group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 128

Got a little a carried away there, Skippy

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, one of the houses had actors with chainsaws. I ran away screaming and slammed into a wall. So much for being macho this Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 1 366

Fright night

By Anonyme - 04/11/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom - Cheddleton

Today, I couldn’t sleep because the hall light was too bright. Someone left their room; I waited for them to return so we wouldn’t cross paths. I got up and went for the light, only to find them peeing naked with the door open. In a panic I flipped any switch, which made the hall brighter, then ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 140

Jump scare

By Anonymous - 07/03/2022 00:00 - Canada - Emsdale

Today, my partner refuses to get rid of an automatic air-freshener that goes off with a decent noise in our bathroom. I have PTSD and it startles me EVERY time it goes off, even when I try to prepare. At least it’s in an area where I can get the shit scared out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 186

Goodbye Rémy…

By Tough guy - 04/09/2021 23:00

Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 845

Better late than never

By why now?! - 12/08/2022 02:00

Today, the guy I had a two-week long fling with and got pregnant by (while on birth control I might add), and who disappeared more than a decade ago after I told him, showed up at my door, demanding shared custody of my daughter. While he is her biological parent, she’s never met him and was terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

You deserved it 229

Who goes there?

By dontbadouche - 01/02/2010 13:45 - Senegal

Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 755

You deserved it 7 281

All's well that ends well

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 03:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, my boyfriend and our so-called “friends” left us stranded at a park, when our phones and wallets were also missing. I had to walk nearly four miles in tears before I eventually got a ride from a stranger. Luckily, my phone was returned to my mom, but I’m still in tears from the distress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 535

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 02:00

Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 136

New creepypasta just dropped

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 21:00 - Australia

Today, I was sick in bed with a nasty flu. It was also the day my bird was eaten by an animal that had silently burrowed into the cage while I was recovering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 141

Panic in the streets

By Insane Guy - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 633

You deserved it 8 071

It's gonna eat me!

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 14:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he had a catphobia, but I forgot to tell him my mom has a new kitten, so when we went round he freaked out so much trying to escape this tiny kitten following him, it reminded me very much of Captain Hook trying to escape being eaten by the crocodile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 707

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 180

You were warned

By kko - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 685

You deserved it 4 904

Little shit

By Anonymous - 28/10/2010 04:44 - Canada

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 601

You deserved it 3 510

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 555

Freaked out

By toazt - 10/10/2010 08:45 - United States

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 543

You deserved it 3 502

Paranoid

By rockefoe - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 33 828

Domestic bliss

By Emma - 08/12/2015 17:23 - United States

Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 317

You deserved it 1 584

Rent-a-wreck

By PolarBear2020 - 11/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was driving my rented car on the highway at 60 mph when I realized that the brakes had gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 101

Reign of terror

By scared shitless - 14/07/2022 04:00

Today, I've been getting terrifying threats all day. Why? I broke up with my girlfriend and turned her in to the police after she and her friends shared their plan to firebomb a church during Sunday school. I didn't know I was dating a terrorist. I might need a new identity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 116

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 964

You deserved it 1 170

No bother

By Geese Ahoy - 14/11/2016 17:00 - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 263

You deserved it 1 091

Scared to bed

By Anonymous - 14/11/2018 12:00

Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 752

You deserved it 436

It's alive!

By yes I felt EVERYTHING - 11/01/2022 20:01

Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 966

You deserved it 145

Crossing a line

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 19:25 - United States - Wapakoneta

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 037

You deserved it 3 368

Buggin' out

By Anonymous - 01/09/2023 14:00

Today, my husband warned me we had a yellowjacket swarm move into our basement. He wasn't kidding. I'm phobic after I was swarmed as a kid, I'm watching our bug zapper literally smoke with how many it's killing, and my can of wasp spray seems woefully insufficient. They can have the house! FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 132

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 190

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 953

You deserved it 10 260

Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 764

You deserved it 49 327

Today, I received a text from an unknown number that read, "I love you." Thinking it was my partner being sweet, I responded with a long, sappy message about how much they mean to me. Turns out, it was a wrong number. The person responded with, "Um, thanks but I think you have the wrong number." FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 533

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 982

You deserved it 2 595

Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 249

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 174

You deserved it 3 068