Money

A bunch of ghosts did it!

By Anonymous - 26/10/2023 00:02

Today, I spent hours decorating my front yard for Halloween. When I stepped back to admire my work, the wind blew all the decorations into my neighbor's yard. Of course, they're currently away on a long vacation and I can't get to my stuff, so… you're welcome, I guess! FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 551

By Stella5127 - 28/11/2017 05:01 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I was shocked and confused as we use condoms and I'm on the pill. I confided in my friend, who guiltily confessed that her daughter swapped my pills for sugar pills and pinned through the rubbers to guarantee herself 5 more years of babysitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 960

You deserved it 750

Stella5127 tells us more.

Stella5127 12

Wednesday 29 November 2017 23:40

or all those people doubting my story! this ACTUALLY happened in july of 2016. I now have a boy named Nate. I kept my pills in a pill holder in the fridge with 'mon tue wed' on it. my friends daughter would come over every night after school to look after our oldest daughter, Tilly, after kindergarten while my husband and I would finish work. She had ample opportunity and being a busy teacher id just take my tablets (both birth control and thyroxine) quickly before work. though we love our baby it was a shock. Lily( my friends daughter) went off to a reform school called "Blackwood" (real place look it up) this past July, after she was also caught with drugs in her room and skipping school. she was a troubled child and I still speak to my friend, she only just found out after over hearing her daughter and her friend and was trying to protect her.

By brokeaf - 11/07/2011 19:09 - United States

Today, I received a $50 iTunes card for my birthday. I immediately sat down at my computer and starting buying all my newest favorites. Then I realized I never redeemed my card so the $50 was all charged to my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 911

You deserved it 52 581

Lovely Rita

By Anonymous - 21/02/2019 20:00

Today, I wasn't sure whether it was past the time when they stopped giving out parking tickets. I checked the meters on either side of my car, and both were expired, so I figured I was good. I came back out to all three of us having tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 1 992

There's a first time for anything

By OptimalPath - 27/09/2023 06:00

Today, I booked a driver's ed course to avoid 3 points on my driving licence for doing 40 in 30 zone. That day, my wife kept quarrelling in the car, I got angry at her for a second, apparently also stepping on the gas. A triumphant copper with a speed gun was right there. I haven't had a speeding ticket in 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 781

No plus ones

By Partypoooped - 23/09/2021 01:59

Today, I invited my best friend of 15 years to my birthday party. He wants to bring his girlfriend of a year along, because she feels "threatened" by our friendship, and thinks "He’ll cheat." I'd already put the deposit for the venue and it costs $50 per additional guest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 337

This needs further details!

By Anonymous - 03/12/2021 11:01

Today, I was conned out of £50,000 by my own father, who everyone thought had been dead for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 202

By Broke - 27/03/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I was entered into an online contest where they announce your name on the radio and if you call in within an hour they pay your bills for you. I'm unemployed, so I got really excited when they announced my name. My call wouldn't go through - I hadn't paid my phone bill and the line was disconnected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 303

You deserved it 28 686

Cough up, daddy

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 10:00

Today, my son told me he and his ex deliberately got pregnant, despite being broken up, because she wanted a baby, he wanted sex, and she promised she wouldn’t ask him for child support. She must have had her fingers crossed because his court date is next week. Moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 278

Treat yourself

By I'll never understand - 13/01/2024 23:00 - Moldova

Today, my wife spent a ton of money she took from me for a very expensive lingerie because, "it makes her feel more feminine and beautiful." Again. All this stuff just gathers dust in her drawers, and she keeps wearing the same ugly raggedy underwear for 3-4 days in a row, which is actually disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 146

Watch the world crumble

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the drop dead gorgeous fun bubbly woman I hit it off with is actually a disgusting, scheming whore who seduces married men, then blackmails them for money. I can’t afford to pay her, nor can I afford my wife to find out. I’m screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 995

By jgboy - 14/09/2014 15:32 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 225

You deserved it 9 519

By Akestarr - 02/12/2013 13:28 - United States - Georgetown

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 395

You deserved it 3 663

Dammit

By Lvdkinda - 18/06/2009 18:34 - United States

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said, "As long as it's not a spa day. That would suck, I'd never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 606

You deserved it 26 597

Thanks, I hate it!

By JacksWag4 - 16/08/2013 22:21 - United States - Romulus

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 517

You deserved it 21 622

By acmariner99 - 17/11/2018 18:35 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, while enjoying a lovely 80 degree day, I returned from a 2-hour bike ride to find my truck window smashed. The only thing taken was my change of clothes. My insurance company says it'll cost $1000 to replace the window. I feel like I got robbed twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 309

You deserved it 219

acmariner99 tells us more.

acmariner99 25

Friday 16 November 2018 1:35

OP here. Yeah, 1k is what the insurance company told me. I knew it was a ripoff and found a local repair shop to fix the window for ... much less than that. I am not sure what the thieves saw in a bag of grubby shorts and a t-shirt, but that’s what they took. And why the f am listed as being in Indianapolis, I live nowhere near there. LOL.