Money, Healthy Lifestyle, Food and Social Media: Influencer brain - FML

Influencer brain

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 22:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I decided to be adventurous and try a new exotic fruit. I bought a dragon fruit, but no one warned me that it looks better on Instagram than it tastes. Now I have a fridge full of disappointment and a dragon fruit that's more like a dragon letdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 636

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Same thing different taste

By cadillacfrank - 24/07/2011 21:01 - United States

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 820

You deserved it 36 580

Complicated

By mylifeissad - 30/12/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 273

You deserved it 37 959

By cleb - 22/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that the seeds of the Cherimoya fruit are toxic. I found out by eating the entire fruit, including all seeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 419

You deserved it 1 041

Adulting is tough

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, in last ditch attempt to be an adult, I trotted out to do my grocery shopping for the week. As I confidently strode through the produce aisle, I grabbed what I thought was a nice, ripe mango. At checkout, the cashier kindly informed me it was in fact a massive potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 531

Random Access Memories

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 17:00

Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 292

Fuzzy perception

By opinaise - 02/08/2012 13:00 - France - Toulouse

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her usual moaning, "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at this egg, it makes me want to throw up… It's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 303

You deserved it 4 017

By Ryuuchild666 - 01/10/2018 13:30

Today, I bought a 3 lb bag of pears. The first two bites were delicious! The third bite revealed a worm and its thousands of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 526

You deserved it 222

Smoothie with a kick

By Anonymous - 02/07/2021 02:01 - Germany

Today, I made myself a smoothie with fruits and wild greens, which tasted much better than it looked, so I licked the splashes off the blender’s lid. Including a stray leaf that didn’t get blended. Which turned out to be stinging nettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 883

A Losing Battle Is Raging

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa–Gatineau

Today, I realized I’d been walking around a small grocery store for 10 minutes holding an avocado I grabbed but didn’t need. Too embarrassed to put it back, I guess I’m buying an avocado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 469

Meandering

By Kate & Nate - 29/11/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 212

Next

Top comments

great_nate 26

Thursday 22 February 2024 5:34

A fridge full?

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Thursday 22 February 2024 0:16

Try the yellow one. it’s much tastier.

Comments

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Thursday 22 February 2024 0:16

Try the yellow one. it’s much tastier.

JaneSimple 25

Thursday 22 February 2024 1:14

I love it!

great_nate 26

Thursday 22 February 2024 5:34

A fridge full?

Gubbon 17

Thursday 22 February 2024 8:43

What's bad about them?

hopejm 5

Thursday 22 February 2024 12:29

now you know, when trying something new just get one to see if you like it or not.

Sonotsuave 35

Saturday 24 February 2024 16:39

Make a smoothie out of it. Problem solved

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation ADHD Dogs Animals Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 135

You deserved it 4 975

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 110

The Top

Today, I learned I'm one of the biggest contributors to my sister's severe body issues and eating disorder. Apparently, my constantly making jokes about her having a giant butt wasn't just harmless teasing after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 2 342

Today, I just found out that my sister slept with the guy that I have had a crush on for years and that she may or may not be pregnant with his child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 348

You deserved it 285

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 967

You deserved it 4 900

Today, I heard back from my store management interview at Target. I was offered an overnight stock clerk position. When I called HR to find out if my application was in the wrong file I was told I lack the leadership qualities necessary for Target. I graduated with honors from a military school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 098

You deserved it 6 143

Today, I realized the $40 iPhone case I bought to keep my new phone from getting scratched, scratched my iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 6 557

Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 741

You deserved it 4 186