Make up

Make up tutorial

By Bunni - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half-closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 009

You deserved it 30 448

Nailed it

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, after my husband yelled at me for wasting money by getting my nails done, I decided to buy the supplies and watch YouTube to figure out how to do them myself. He then yelled at me for wasting money on the supplies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 161

Pot meet kettle

By anon - 25/06/2022 02:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight because I bought two new makeup palettes. He ranted that I have too much already, it all looks the same, and that I’m a hoarder. Last month he threatened to break up with me for throwing out condiments that were two years past their expiration dates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 251

TikTok trending

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend insisted on doing some stupid TikTok where we say one thing we’d change about each other. She hates that I don’t always put plates straight in the dishwasher. I hate that she gets her makeup all over the sink without cleaning it. She got mad and threw a book at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 177

Maybe I'll stay home

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, while I was doing my hair and makeup, I somehow managed to spray myself in the right eye with hairspray, and in the left eye with makeup setting spray. I left the house with two very bloodshot eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 3

By Mayabie - 16/10/2011 21:08 - France

Today, at my job in a cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like yours. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 222

You deserved it 6 411

Own it

By psychortiz - 03/06/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 643

You deserved it 16 728

Tedious

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 10:00 - United States - Boiling Springs

Today, I realized that I’m so used to be stood up or ghosted for dates that I don’t even bother getting ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 161

Hype house prank style

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 18:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I woke up to find I'd peed the bed. My girlfriend did the warm water trick to me, where she put my hand in water while sleeping, which can make you piss yourself apparently. As I went to get up, I noticed she'd also painted my toenails pink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 204

Living for the weekend

By ouch - 11/12/2009 07:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated… I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 252

You deserved it 8 509

Cute but… TMI

By heytherexo - 05/04/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, while I was showering, my 3 year-old son came to the bathroom and put on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterwards, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 963

You deserved it 93 537

Wrong move

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 12:00

Today, I told a coworker, “You look way better without makeup.” She responded, “I’m wearing makeup.” Everyone around us gasped like I had just said "fuck" in church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 658

What's updog?

By bu09 - 07/03/2009 20:34 - United States

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 477

You deserved it 9 705

Not now, honey

By rhya4n - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Denmark - Herlev

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 3 457

Panda

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 01:32 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, at a family reunion, my grandpa loudly said that I look like "a cheap Vegas whore" because of my heavy purple eye-shadow. I could tell that a few other people agreed. I was too embarrassed to explain that the "eye-shadow" was just dark circles from fatigue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 572

You deserved it 2 424

A real pro

By weddingplannerlyfe - 16/09/2022 21:00

Today, I had the wedding from hell. Nope, not a bridezilla, but a makeup artist-zilla who caused the ceremony to begin over an hour and a half late, and then tried to charge the bride for her delays. She then went nuts when confronted with the reality of her poor time management. “Professional” my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 112

By rach - 19/05/2013 22:33 - United States - Roy

Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 705

You deserved it 4 383

Ouch!

By pickle - 20/09/2019 06:01

Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 545

How d'you think I look so good?

By Anonymous - 07/06/2021 17:00

Today, I got home and my wife asked me to help yell at the kids for ruining over £1000 of her makeup supplies. I did an almost double take at the fact I had no idea she had spent over £1000 just on makeup. No wonder we’re always broke the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 239

Absentmindedly

By Anonymous - 06/09/2022 19:00

Today, I saw some reddish-colored stuff on my finger after wiping my face. I thought it was blood at first, so I smelled it, then licked it, I don't know why the fuck I did that but anyways, I later realized I'd wiped off some of my eyeshadow and frickin ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 1 247

By demaris - 30/10/2010 23:46 - Canada

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 339

You deserved it 6 046

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 363

Scary

By -___- - 14/09/2013 00:37 - Canada - Montréal

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 843

You deserved it 5 678

Lookin' good

By Anonymous - 03/03/2021 05:01

Today, I was sitting in the bus station when an old woman looked over at me, then said to her friend, "Young women are so pretty these days." Her friend looked up at me and said, "That's because makeup is so cheap these days." FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 192

Camouflage

By allbrokeup - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Norway - Stavanger

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 952

You deserved it 3 498

Dinner date

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Halfway through dinner, I noticed my mascara was smudging, so I tried to discreetly wipe it off with my napkin. As I looked up, my date was staring at me with wide eyes. Apparently, I had smeared it all over my face and I looked like a raccoon. He didn’t even offer to help me fix it, just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 222

What are you doing?

By anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wareham

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 861

You deserved it 4 589

Thanks Jeffree Star

By whysoserious??? - 07/12/2022 12:00

Today, my girlfriend has become completely obsessed with YouTube makeup tutorials. She’s already beautiful and used to take 30 minutes tops to get ready. Now every time we leave the house, it’s some 2-hour paint session where she ends up looking like an unrecognizable fucking psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 161

Parenting styles may differ…

By Anonymous - 22/03/2022 00:01 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, it was my first day at my new high school. I put on a tiny bit of makeup, just some mascara, to feel more confident. I got in the car and my mom started yelling about how horrible my makeup is, basically calls me a slut for wearing it, and makes me take it off. I ended up crying in the bathroom on my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 164

By pimplesapparently - 18/02/2016 20:17 - United States - New York

Today, I sent my friend a Snapchat without any makeup on. She asked what filter I used, because it made my face look all red and blotchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 210

You deserved it 2 797

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The Top

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 699

You deserved it 32 090

Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 890

You deserved it 6 032

Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me the only reason he has stayed with me for the last 6 months is because of the Netflix account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 984

You deserved it 398

WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 62

Today, according to my husband, if I die first he won’t be looking after my son from a previous marriage. Either my sister will have to take him or he’ll go into foster care. He doesn’t want kids of his own, so he’ll be dammed if he has to look after someone else’s just because I’m dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 531

You deserved it 982

Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 381