Insects

Ants and aunts

By Ante Up - 10/07/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to deal with both ants and aunts. It was my great aunt's burial, and so I had to deal with my OTHER great aunt, who is a judgmental Karen. Later on, I tried to get a snack from the pantry. There were ants crawling everywhere, which I didn't realize until I almost ate an ant-infested pop tart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 181

Really bugs me

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 06:00

Today, most people don’t realize how relaxing it is to poop on an indoor toilet. As in, being able to do your business in peace without having to keep mosquitoes from landing on your private parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 123

Wailing

By katchoo - 03/11/2013 07:34 - Denmark

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 623

You deserved it 8 509

Ouchies

By Ouch - 01/06/2019 16:00

Today, I learned that bees like to get out of the hot sun, too. And that they do this by crawling into people's bed sheets. I also learned that these bees don't like it when you go to lay down in your own bed. They don't like it at all. Now it hurts to put weight on my right butt cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 795

You deserved it 347

Good morning

By JohnX - 25/09/2021 08:00

Today, I woke up early in the morning after sleeping 3 hours. Stepped into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee like usual. I was sipping my hot coffee while studying, until I noticed a small roach skeleton. I found 3 more in my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 177

All hunted out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, I have killed at least several dozen flies over the course of the past few days. My cat, who used to be a fly killing machine, isn't doing shit to help me. She's not old or fat or anything, she's just lazy. Meanwhile, I had to go buy a water bottle with a cover to keep flies from going into my drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 258

Creepy crawlies

By Cockroachphobic - 04/04/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that the small bugs I've been blowing off my pillow all year are in fact baby cockroaches. I discover this when I found two full grown ones crawling around and decided to Google it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 928

Freak out

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I washed my face and grabbed a towel to dry it. I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water… unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 552

You deserved it 3 972

By tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 362

You deserved it 1 601

The red knob incident

By Bee - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 512

You deserved it 93 311

Freaked out

By klanciee - 16/07/2012 02:00 - United States - Valencia

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 554

You deserved it 2 217

The lawnmower man

By Omega - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was sitting outside while my dad was mowing the lawn. He ran over a hornet's nest with several now-angry hornets. He escaped unscathed. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 359

You deserved it 1 548

Pest control

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I realized I’m living with a complete moron. I moved in thinking it was gonna be smooth but nope. Dude thought it was okay to put mothballs INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE to help with roaches. Who the fuck does that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 447

Major escalation

By animal cruelty - 24/06/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I complained about a wasp nest in the yard. My boyfriend said he'd take care of it once the sun went down. That evening, I looked outside to see him pour gasoline on the nest and set it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 169

Protein source

By Anonymous - 14/08/2021 00:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 159

Just a tad

By concusion - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 133

You deserved it 3 350

She's right, you know

By Anonymous - 27/07/2009 16:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 936

You deserved it 56 017

Genius

By That'sMyBoy - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, I put glue traps around my home to catch spiders. So far, the only thing dumb enough to get caught in one is my 10-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 456

You deserved it 945

Freaked out

By The Buzzing - 28/07/2022 14:00 - United States

Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 170

Ouchies

By Anonymous - 04/10/2015 23:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 347

You deserved it 1 963

The passenger

By F.L.Stubbs - 05/08/2023 06:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 145

Calling all stations

By Gurl - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Dublin

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715

You deserved it 29 187

Alexa, play "Here Comes the Summer" by The Undertones

By Uh oh - 03/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I put my AC in my room again in preparation for summer. However, I forgot that my cat messed up the accordion while climbing the window like an idiot, so it no longer closes properly. So there is now an opening in the window that I can't do anything about. Hello, insects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 184

Panic at the crosswalk

By Butterflyguy - 14/08/2009 17:10 - Canada

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 355

You deserved it 23 666

Bees, wasps, that sort of thing

By HURRY UP - 25/05/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, I was waiting in the car for my roommate to come outside so we could get to work. He was taking his sweet ass time. And there was a large wasp flying around. And I have a fear of bees. And the window refused to roll up. I sat there, frozen in fear, until he finally came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 239

Run for your life!

By Anonymous - 19/08/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I was in a hurry to pull out all the fence posts around our horse meadow, because the new owner is suddenly kicking us out. As if that wasn’t bad enough, some ground wasps were living at the base of one of those fence posts. No, they were not amused when I started wiggling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 130

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 76

New neighbors

By Jules - 06/07/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 130

Release the bees!

By Anonymous - 01/10/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, as I was sitting on my terrace, I was wearing neither bright colors, nor any perfume, yet two bees seemed convinced that I must've been some type of flower and persistently tried to figure out where I was hiding my nectar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 118

Flies gonna fly

By Defeated - 10/10/2022 23:40 - United States

Today, I've become so accustomed to having flies in my house that I just gave up on getting rid of them. I only kill the ones that repeatedly land on my face or, worst of all, in my ears. Especially when they get stuck in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 779

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The Top

Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 532

You deserved it 5 716

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 899

You deserved it 3 376

Today, at my wedding, my grandmother special requested a wheelchair, even though she doesn’t and never has needed any kind of assistance walking or standing at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 212

Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her family. She’s always called her dad “Daddy” when talking about him, which is fine, but when we went to their house she kissed him on the mouth as a greeting, and at one point was sat on his lap, almost falling asleep. She’s 25. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 275

You deserved it 231

Today, I realized I was in love with the girl in the red Converses. She moved away about 4 months ago and it's way too late, but I haven't been able to get her out of my head, and it's killing me knowing that I lost my chance with her. I wish I was the one to really know her, not her toxic friends and family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 825

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of a conversation with my best friend, where we were making fun of my mum’s new haircut, to my mum. She responded with, “Well, at least my haircut can change. What are you going to do about your face?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 863