Insects

The invasion begins

By Anonymous - 28/06/2015 15:00 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I noticed a rash of insect bites on the backs of my thighs and buttocks. Upon further investigation, it appears that the inside of the chair in my work cubicle is infested with bedbugs. I'm too paranoid to sit in any work chair now. There are 12 hours left in my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 317

You deserved it 1 874

Sorry, dude

By Aussie mate - 24/09/2020 08:01 - Australia

Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 236

Creepy crawlies

By Cockroachphobic - 04/04/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that the small bugs I've been blowing off my pillow all year are in fact baby cockroaches. I discover this when I found two full grown ones crawling around and decided to Google it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 928

The reflex, flex flex flex flex

By Flyaway - 21/03/2021 11:56 - Australia - Rhodes

Today, a fly landed on my dentist's arm. The same arm and hand holding the needle inserted into my gum. He instinctively tried to shake it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 64

All hunted out

By Anonymous - 14/07/2022 23:00 - United States

Today, I have killed at least several dozen flies over the course of the past few days. My cat, who used to be a fly killing machine, isn't doing shit to help me. She's not old or fat or anything, she's just lazy. Meanwhile, I had to go buy a water bottle with a cover to keep flies from going into my drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 257

A visitor

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 12:00 - Germany - Leer

Today, I had a walk-in: a tiny tick, crawling through my bathroom window, looking down at me in the shower, wondering whether I might be tasty. The window was closed, by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 115

What is happening?

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, it's been three days since I noticed mysterious bumps on my arms, on the same day my dad, who I lived with, petted dogs and might've brought in fleas. The first two days were harmless skin conditions. The third day was bug bites. They always appeared overnight when I slept and they weren't bed bugs, I checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 83

Packaging

By Anonymous - 01/09/2020 17:01 - Germany

Today, I was cleaning up after my mom visited with her dogs. She'd left a little pill jar on the kitchen counter. Had she forgotten her medicine? It made a weird, soft sound when I shaked it. I opened the lid to shake some pills into my hand, only it wasn't pills. It was two fat ticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 247

Protein source

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 17:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 159

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 150

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 75

Guilty

By Fly-Trapping Monster - 14/08/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 391

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 01:03 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 974

You deserved it 42 084

Tasty

By SillyScotsman - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Hamilton

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 665

You deserved it 7 712

Run for your life!

By Anonymous - 19/08/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I was in a hurry to pull out all the fence posts around our horse meadow, because the new owner is suddenly kicking us out. As if that wasn’t bad enough, some ground wasps were living at the base of one of those fence posts. No, they were not amused when I started wiggling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 130

Flying around

By jdancerchick - 16/11/2011 13:47 - United States

Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 275

You deserved it 4 716

Wasps can **** right off

By Anonymous - 16/08/2023 18:00

Today, a wasp flew straight up my nose and stung inside my nose and my upper lip about 8 times. I would very much like to be put in a medically-induced coma right now, but the emergency room nurse thinks I'm joking. I’m very much not joking, I want to be unconscious ASAP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 125

Sensitive

By killer! - 04/08/2023 16:00

Today, I sobbed hard to the point of hyperventilating and throwing up. Why? I instinctually stomped on a roach but didn’t see the egg sack she was carrying. I feel like I murdered a mom and her babies. I feel awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 967

Nature finds a way

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 467

Calling all stations

By Gurl - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Dublin

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715

You deserved it 29 185

Really bugs me

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 06:00

Today, most people don’t realize how relaxing it is to poop on an indoor toilet. As in, being able to do your business in peace without having to keep mosquitoes from landing on your private parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 123

The fun never ends

By Yudith - 02/01/2023 03:00 - Canada

Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 139

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 945

You deserved it 61 850

Jump scare

By izzy46111 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 496

You deserved it 5 324

Bugged

By Anonymous - 11/06/2023 03:00 - Germany - Undeloh

Today, I hate having bugs in the house so I covered all doors and windows in fly screen. This prevents 80% of the bugs from finding their way inside, and 100% of those from finding their way back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 220

Fancy a pint?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 22:02 - United States - Tyler

Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 327

Kinda abusive, you know?

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I have spheksophobia, a fear of wasps and hornets. Instead of being supportive, my parents have decided that threatening to beat the dog shit out of me whenever I react to a wasp in the house is the best way to "cure" me. They also won't spray against wasps because dad claims it irritates his allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 108

Super-spreading

By Anonymous - 18/07/2021 17:59

Today, I found out I have bed bugs, thanks to my dad having them and not telling me, so my girlfriend got pissed at me, thinking I purposely give them to her, and is sending me a bill to have her house treated for them. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 107

Freakout

By DisgustingCreatures - 04/08/2016 18:53 - United States - Houston

Today, I was peacefully using the toilet when I heard a familiar crunching sound behind me. After shooting up and frantically looking around, I hesitantly closed the toilet lid - just in time to see a black cockroach slip into a crevice of the toilet. The thing was close enough to go up my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 629

You deserved it 1 177

The passenger

By Green_Artist_6409 - 02/09/2025 09:00 - India

Today, I travelled to the beach, and I got what I thought was a food crumb in my phone charger port. I poked it around and it was so gross to realize that it was an insect. I removed the bug with a tissue corner, used an old brush to clean the rest up. I panicked and thought it was a bug infestation in my hostel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 153

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Kids Swimming pool Parenting Health Awkward Poopoo peepee Love Miscellaneous Scams Money Medication Family Embarrassing Cars Healthy Lifestyle Work Confused My ex Parents Vacation Sex Anxiety Depression Mental health Clothes Alcohol Ironic Weddings Birthday Transportation

The Top

Today, my mom volunteered me to help out at her coworker's 5-year-old son's birthday party. I didn't realize until I got there that "helping out" meant "dressing up as Spider-Man". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 204

You deserved it 381

Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 123

Today, I walked in on my soon-to-be-ex-husband with his coworker (who we'd always argued about) bent over in front of him. Both of them buck ass naked. He was supposed to be watching our two year-old daughter, who was in another room eating applesauce by herself. She was drenched in applesauce from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 214

Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 900

You deserved it 6 765

Today, I've recently been promoted to a VP at a bank. Despite this, in my parents' eyes, I will always be that idiot two year-old who refused to put his pants on at the cinema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 123

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying, "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 892

You deserved it 7 349