Insects

Little *****

By Anonymous - 09/05/2022 06:00 - Australia

Today, and every other weekend for the past 4 weeks, my boyfriend has made the 2 and a half hour drive to come stay with me. For some reason, every time he comes down, we see 1 or 2 cockroaches in my house. I'm at home most of the time, and I never see any cockroaches. I swear they're conspiring to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 172

Bad timing

By Sorry granny - 04/11/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, I learned that when a fly goes up your shirt into your armpit, it tickles very badly. I also found out that it's hard to explain this to your mother while she's trying to have a serious conversation with you about your grandmother's rapidly deteriorating health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 155

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 840

You deserved it 29 342

The reflex, flex flex flex flex

By Flyaway - 21/03/2021 11:56 - Australia - Rhodes

Today, a fly landed on my dentist's arm. The same arm and hand holding the needle inserted into my gum. He instinctively tried to shake it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 64

Guilty

By Fly-Trapping Monster - 14/08/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 390

Good morning

By JohnX - 25/09/2021 08:00

Today, I woke up early in the morning after sleeping 3 hours. Stepped into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee like usual. I was sipping my hot coffee while studying, until I noticed a small roach skeleton. I found 3 more in my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 176

The red knob incident

By Bee - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 512

You deserved it 93 306

Overworked

By Anonymous - 25/11/2022 22:00 - Europe

Today, I have several projects to finish and one exam tomorrow. There's this one project I do not know how to do, and nobody has told me the goddamn topics for tomorrow's exam, plus for some reason, there are too many ants crawling in my office, desk, and a few on my PC monitor. I rarely eat in my office. So, yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 428

The passenger

By Green_Artist_6409 - 02/09/2025 09:00 - India

Today, I travelled to the beach, and I got what I thought was a food crumb in my phone charger port. I poked it around and it was so gross to realize that it was an insect. I removed the bug with a tissue corner, used an old brush to clean the rest up. I panicked and thought it was a bug infestation in my hostel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 152

RIP

By funnnyyyyy -_- - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Nepal - Kathmandu

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 263

You deserved it 6 737

I am the passenger

By Anonymous - 03/11/2024 13:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 71

Tasty

By SillyScotsman - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Hamilton

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 662

You deserved it 7 712

Panic at the crosswalk

By Butterflyguy - 14/08/2009 17:10 - Canada

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 352

You deserved it 23 663

Social parasites

By wasp infestation - 03/10/2016 04:54 - United States - Aurora

Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 552

You deserved it 1 031

Where did you come from?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 979

You deserved it 2 934

Fancy a pint?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 22:02 - United States - Tyler

Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 326

Freaked out

By klanciee - 16/07/2012 02:00 - United States - Valencia

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 551

You deserved it 2 217

New neighbors

By Jules - 06/07/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 130

Calling all stations

By Gurl - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Dublin

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 714

You deserved it 29 184

Idiots

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband took our son into the woods with a big stick and two tennis rackets because they'd found a hornets nest. Yes, they used the stick to poke the nest and the tennis rackets to whack the hornets, like they thought it was a game. They got swarmed and are now in hospital. Idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 112

Fancy seeing you here

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 16:00

Today, I found a massive tick on my boyfriend's ballsack. I found it with my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 229

Bad buzz

By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 10:00

Today, I went to fix my porch light. I have called maintenance multiple times about it, but I finally decided to just fix it myself. There was a wasps' nest in the light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 121

Flying around

By jdancerchick - 16/11/2011 13:47 - United States

Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 275

You deserved it 4 715

Ouchies

By Anonymous - 04/10/2015 23:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 342

You deserved it 1 962

Our insect overlords

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 10:58

Today, something flew up the back of my shorts while I was at work. I now have itchy hot welts the size of my palm coating the back and inside of both my upper thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 77

The passenger

By F.L.Stubbs - 05/08/2023 00:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I was drinking coffee at work, while being surrounded by a lot of flies in the area I was working. Later, in the evening, I found a fly under my bottom denture plate. It'd been there for about 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 145

Bugging out

By Ernest - 30/11/2022 06:00

Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 289

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 74

Freakout

By DisgustingCreatures - 04/08/2016 18:53 - United States - Houston

Today, I was peacefully using the toilet when I heard a familiar crunching sound behind me. After shooting up and frantically looking around, I hesitantly closed the toilet lid - just in time to see a black cockroach slip into a crevice of the toilet. The thing was close enough to go up my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 628

You deserved it 1 176

Freaked out

By toazt - 10/10/2010 08:45 - United States

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 545

You deserved it 3 502

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 912

You deserved it 4 814

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 534

You deserved it 3 264

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 155

You deserved it 15 039

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument, which resulted in her begging for a divorce, and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 2 484

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 319

You deserved it 5 919

Today, I was awakened by knocking on my door, only to find my parents standing there. Turns out, they booked two one-way tickets to visit me from another country. Their plan? I should scrap my upcoming 2-week vacation to hang out because they invested in this trip. Oh, and they didn't book a hotel. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 112