Today, I had to deal with both ants and aunts. It was my great aunt's burial, and so I had to deal with my OTHER great aunt, who is a judgmental Karen. Later on, I tried to get a snack from the pantry. There were ants crawling everywhere, which I didn't realize until I almost ate an ant-infested pop tart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to visit my grandmother. My grandfather recently died, so I had gotten her a cat for comfort. Turns out in her sadness, she had forgotten about the cat. I found its remains being eaten by ants and birds. FML
Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML
Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML
Today, despite putting all the food in the fridge, taking all the rubbish outside, cleaning the house top to bottom and setting up bait, we're still dealing with a bloody huge ant problem. I've now got a rash all over from being bitten while I sleep. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Just one ant pun? No condemning the anti-social, anti-climactic antics of Auntie Karen?
SirEnigM0nk 22
This is the antithesis of a funeral service. I am sorry to hear of your loss and that some of your relatives can't get over their pettiness.
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Comments (3)
SirEnigM0nk 22
This is the antithesis of a funeral service. I am sorry to hear of your loss and that some of your relatives can't get over their pettiness.
RichardPencil 32
Just one ant pun? No condemning the anti-social, anti-climactic antics of Auntie Karen?
SirEnigM0nk 22
Ah yes, that Karen was quite a pop tart back in the day until she lost the cellulite wars. Now she just a Karen whose boyfriends have 6 legs.
RichardPencil 32
How many of the ants on your Pop-Tart were named Karen?