Miscellaneous: Today, my electricity supplier cut my power off. Literally. They... - FML

By Mac22 - Senegal - Dakar

Today, my electricity supplier cut my power off. Literally. They cut the cable that supplies my apartment in electricity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

713

You deserved it

54

Tweet

Share

Late term

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Long term commitment

By maturity - Australia - Sydney

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16967

You deserved it

64110

Tweet

Share

By Guess I'm not getting laid - United States - Glasgow

Today, as things were finally heating up with a guy I'm interested in, his ex-girlfriend from two months ago called. Guess who's pregnant and guess who's still in a seven-month dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3531

You deserved it

343

Tweet

Share

By scumbag i guess - United States - El Paso

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5886

You deserved it

53190

Tweet

Share

By ohshit - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31238

You deserved it

8328

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29502

You deserved it

2819

Tweet

Share

By GabyLeann - United States

Today, while showering, I broke the cap off the shampoo. Not my shampoo, my roommate's. The $60 shampoo I swore I wouldn't touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11293

You deserved it

34576

Tweet

Share

By dog got ur phone

Today, I was playing music from my phone, which was on the couch. I guess my dog got jealous, because she picked it up and ran over to the toilet, promptly dropping it right in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4925

You deserved it

714

Tweet

Share

By s13495 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42976

You deserved it

6359

Tweet

Share

By fuck you, gran - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32005

You deserved it

4056

Tweet

Share

By Collin - United States

Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50761

You deserved it

4496

Tweet

Share

By justin - United States - Waco

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52676

You deserved it

3396

Tweet

Share

By hairless by death - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52184

You deserved it

4221

Tweet

Share

By bridezilla - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55403

You deserved it

6828

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Love is…

Today, I went to a job interview. At the end of it, after I had got the job, my new manager said, “See you soon.” I then accidentally replied, “You too, love you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

1363

You deserved it

362

Tweet

Share

By anonymouss - United States

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52454

You deserved it

26323

Tweet

Share

By Hairless freak - United States - Fallbrook

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28401

You deserved it

1847

Tweet

Share

By mcfatty - India - Bangalore

Today, despite having a bunch of work and school related things to do, I made time to go visit family I hadn't seen in a while. The main topic of discussion was how fat I've gotten. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14397

You deserved it

1511

Tweet

Share

By NotYourCopyEditor

Today, at work, I had to explain to a 50-year-old engineer that Comic Sans is not an acceptable font for a government contractor to use in a structural report. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1765

You deserved it

163

Tweet

Share

By Sasquatch

Today, while showering, I noticed a spider drowning in the bath. Spiders gross me out but I felt a moral duty to save it. Reluctantly, I scooped it up and carried it to safety. Then I realised it was my housemate's pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3658

You deserved it

1208

Tweet

Share

By badplacerightnow - United States - Frisco

Celebrate good times come on!

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45861

You deserved it

9190

Tweet

Share

By TexasGirl24 - United States - Houston

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11543

You deserved it

1186

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend accidentally left her facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44745

You deserved it

8575

Tweet

Share

By losingstreak - United States

Caught

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10209

You deserved it

37820

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Israel

Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11446

You deserved it

23421

Tweet

Share

By FishFlingingMonkey - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21198

You deserved it

8046

Tweet

Share

By TooShort - United States

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54296

You deserved it

8595

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20994

You deserved it

1502

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45163

You deserved it

2460

Tweet

Share

By fudgydiaper22 - United States

Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33073

You deserved it

5124

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28494

You deserved it

2125

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30000

You deserved it

7078

Tweet

Share

By Zack - Israel

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37125

You deserved it

96864

Tweet

Share

By oof

Boom, headshot

Today, my fiancé and I were discussing whether we should have a gun in the house or not. He argued that I’m too clumsy to have one. Offended, I turned around to storm off. I hit my forehead on the cabinet I'd left open and immediately started gushing blood. Point proved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1060

You deserved it

1679

Tweet

Share

By Burp - United States

Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10438

You deserved it

24865

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks

30064

You deserved it

5846

Tweet

Share

By ScoobieDoo - United States

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

I agree, your life sucks

425887

You deserved it

66528

Tweet

Share

By Eponine13

Today, I thought it would be fun to climb a tree. My older sister also thought it would be fun to set the tree on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1861

You deserved it

164

Tweet

Share

By Un1ucky - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56706

You deserved it

7415

Tweet

Share

By thanks hun

Overheard musings

Today, my husband came out of the bathroom and screamed, "Call 911 because I just murdered this motherfucking toilet!” then laughed hysterically at his own stupid joke. I was on a Zoom meeting at the time. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1785

You deserved it

220

Tweet

Share

By daddy-to-be - United States

Today, as I was getting my mail, I received a free coupon from a baby supply store saying "congratulations on your expectancy." Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I am living with. All she had to say was "Surprise!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

79945

You deserved it

17263

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By gabimk23 | 13

#6610499 - Friday 20 May 2016 14:42

why though

By UserDoesNotExist | 12

#6610486 - Friday 20 May 2016 14:33

Wow that's very SHOCKING

COMMENTS

By UserDoesNotExist | 12

#6610486 - Friday 20 May 2016 14:33

Wow that's very SHOCKING

By gabimk23 | 13

#6610499 - Friday 20 May 2016 14:42

why though

By UserDoesNotExist | 12

#6610500 - Friday 20 May 2016 14:43

But in all seriousness, sorry that happened to you.

By jmagd781 | 16

#6610514 - Friday 20 May 2016 15:00

pay your bills

Reply

nanner6206 | 24

#6610522 - Friday 20 May 2016 15:11

Read the FML before making useless suggestions.

By ssnow_fml | 20

#6610530 - Friday 20 May 2016 15:21

Well that sucks for you

By Host2phats | 21

#6610646 - Friday 20 May 2016 17:27

I have no idea what went through their heads, but I can't think of any reason for that. Maybe they just want a reason to see you for long periods of time without showing their obsession.

By naviajack626 | 16

#6610718 - Friday 20 May 2016 18:49

Back to the stone age lol

By TigranPet | 24

#6610758 - Friday 20 May 2016 19:30

You should try talking to whoever is in charge of that and maybe get things cleared up.

By HeadlessSparrow | 20

#6610908 - Friday 20 May 2016 22:12

Look on the bright side, electricity bills will be low!

By Moskaaa7 | 26

#6610939 - Friday 20 May 2016 23:10

Shit just got real.