Miscellaneous: Today, my electricity supplier cut my power off. Literally. They... - FML

By Mac22 - Senegal - Dakar

Today, my electricity supplier cut my power off. Literally. They cut the cable that supplies my apartment in electricity. FML

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BO Central

Yappy neighborhood

Can they do that?

By SCREWED - United States

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

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By :| - New Zealand - Nelson

Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML

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By crutchy - United States

Today, at the age of 16, I'm recovering from hip surgery. My friends took me out to the movies to cheer me up. They thought it would be hilarious to steal my crutches and leave me stranded and alone in the mall, multiple times. It wasn't. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

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By Medic - United States - Puyallup

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

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By monochrometea - United States

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had to politely nod and say "Ah okay..." as my grandpa told me that he's not racist; he just doesn't think it's right for black men to associate with white women. He's well aware that my boyfriend is black. FML

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By mn051299 - Switzerland - Richterswil

Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML

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By KornyKid - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, I got a new cat for my birthday. It ate my bird right when we got home, then it ran away. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

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By Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

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By Rosie

Today, I discovered that you can vomit hard enough to break a rib and tear a ligament. Why was I barfing so violently? The stray cat I'm feeding has given me worms. I found one during "down there cleanup" time. I got laughed at by EMS, nurses, doctors, and my family. FML

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By killmyself - United States

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Rooty Hill

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

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By intranator - Jordan

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

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By some_girl_19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

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By fuck - United States - Hubert

Caught

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

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By crapgirl - United States

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

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By Charley

Today, I was teaching a new student their first ever piano lesson, hoping that they would sign up for more lessons. Thirty minutes had gone by and after the 5th time of me saying what a talented, sweet little girl she was, the mother told me it was in fact a boy. They didn't sign up. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, my boyfriend of 8 years moved in with two other women. He's spent the past 2 years telling me he can't afford to move out of his parent's house. FML

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By Gitana - Spain - Tafalla

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

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By budgetboss - United States - Granbury

Today, I got a call that my custom order bridesmaid dress is at the apartment complex I just moved out of. They won’t give it to me because I’m no longer a resident, but they just thought I should know. The wedding’s tomorrow. FML

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By Singleton - Canada

Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I got better phone reception crossing an inlet on a ferry than I normally do at my own house. FML

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By Michael tee - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

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By BigFoot - United States

Today, I was trying on some shoes when I felt the heels break underneath me. Not only did they cost two paychecks worth, but as I was leaving I heard the sales girl say that "we really should have a weight limit for who can try on our products." FML

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By ThreeHoursEarly

What's the time, please?

Today, I was told to be present for a meeting that started at 5pm. I arrived 15 minutes early, and I was late for the meeting. This happens regularly. FML

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By ohgodwhyyoufreaks - United States - Moorhead

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

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By hdat - Canada

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

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By oldskoolfun - United States - Warminster

Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/1/2021 05:00

Mr Commitment

Today, after I caught my (now ex) boyfriend cheating. He told me that it isn't my business if he was seeing other woman, because we didn't had an official relationship. We have been living together in a house we bought, for two years now. FML

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By cmac1229 - United States

Today, I was at a gas station and I went to the bathroom. Thinking some was already in the bathroom, I waited for ten minutes while people lined up behind me only to find out that it was empty. FML

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By jriese444 - United States

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

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By LETMEOUT!

Today, despite being claustrophobic and avoiding lifts at all costs, I had to use the lift at work to carry boxes of paper to the 3rd floor. It broke down. FML

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By Crash - United States - Hicksville

Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30 foot wide entrance, but not the two foot wide tree. FML

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By Anonymous

Mommy's boy

Today, I found out that in the past, my mother has paid or outright threatened my girlfriends into breaking up with me, because they were, "unsuitable trash not fit to be the mothers of my future grand babies." This explains why I’m 47 and have never married or had children. FML

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By jennahh

Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

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By Girl w/ the Pearl Earring - Australia - Perth

Today, it was another stressful day of watching servicemen at my job trying to figure out what broke an extremely expensive and essential machine. I'm just waiting for the day they finally discover the earring I dropped into it about a week ago FML

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Top comments

By gabimk23 | 13

#6610499 - Friday 20 May 2016 14:42

why though

By UserDoesNotExist | 12

#6610486 - Friday 20 May 2016 14:33

Wow that's very SHOCKING

COMMENTS

By UserDoesNotExist | 12

#6610486 - Friday 20 May 2016 14:33

Wow that's very SHOCKING

By gabimk23 | 13

#6610499 - Friday 20 May 2016 14:42

why though

By UserDoesNotExist | 12

#6610500 - Friday 20 May 2016 14:43

But in all seriousness, sorry that happened to you.

By jmagd781 | 16

#6610514 - Friday 20 May 2016 15:00

pay your bills

Reply

nanner6206 | 24

#6610522 - Friday 20 May 2016 15:11

Read the FML before making useless suggestions.

By ssnow_fml | 20

#6610530 - Friday 20 May 2016 15:21

Well that sucks for you

By Host2phats | 21

#6610646 - Friday 20 May 2016 17:27

I have no idea what went through their heads, but I can't think of any reason for that. Maybe they just want a reason to see you for long periods of time without showing their obsession.

By naviajack626 | 16

#6610718 - Friday 20 May 2016 18:49

Back to the stone age lol

By TigranPet | 24

#6610758 - Friday 20 May 2016 19:30

You should try talking to whoever is in charge of that and maybe get things cleared up.

By HeadlessSparrow | 20

#6610908 - Friday 20 May 2016 22:12

Look on the bright side, electricity bills will be low!

By Moskaaa7 | 26

#6610939 - Friday 20 May 2016 23:10

Shit just got real.