Believe what you want to believe, I was there · 27 February 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Average

Today, I found out that, despite my above average performance in school, I was right in the middle of my class ranking at graduation. My school stated that your respect for others would affect your ranking, but the fact that nearly all of the people who placed above me were gigantic pricks says otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476 You deserved it 162

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Central Islip, United States

Alexa, play "Let Down" by Radiohead

Today, the guy I've been crushing on at work finally asked me out to lunch. I was nervous we wouldn't have anything to talk about. He spent the entire hour talking about how amazing his new girlfriend is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 805 You deserved it 1 405

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Anonymous · 27 February 2024, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Whassup?

Today, I walked into the bar to meet my Tinder date and sat down next to him at the bar. Without looking up from his phone, his first words to me were, “Piss off fatty, I’m meeting a hot chick tonight.” I guess he didn’t recognise me with my hair done and in a nice dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736 You deserved it 221

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Anonymous · 26 February 2024, 22:00 ·DeWitt, United States

But my grandbabies!

Today, my fiancé and I were having dinner with my parents. My mom asked when we were thinking of having kids. My fiancé cheerfully said, “When pigs fly and Hell freezes over!” He’s right, but I was hoping to break the news a little more gently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536 You deserved it 218

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I belong in the city!!!! · 26 February 2024, 20:00 ·United States

In the sticks

Today, it's been a week since my family moved from a city to a house we inherited out in the middle of nowhere. It's horrible! There's wild animals everywhere, my dad says I have to help take care of the house now, it's a thirty minute ride to school, there's no sidewalks, and I hate it here! I want to go back! FML

I agree, your life sucks 356 You deserved it 638

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Crushed · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Knackered

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for months invited me on a group hiking trip, just so that she wouldn't be the most out of shape person on the trail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984 You deserved it 505

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Anonymous · 26 February 2024, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

Baby fever

Today, I agreed to babysit my baby nephew for a week while his parents flew abroad for the MIL’s funeral. I had hoped having a baby around might convince my wife to consider having kids. Nope. She got so sick of the baby, she moved into a hotel until my sister comes home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 939

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Very caring parents · 26 February 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Neglect

Today, I'm staying at my parents' house. I was woken up by the fan in my bedroom falling down. I calmly picked it back up and went to bed, wondering why my parents weren't concerned at all. My mom said she figured it was nothing, and when my dad tried to say something, she retorted, "You didn't even wake up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 410 You deserved it 118

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jon · 26 February 2024, 09:00 ·San Diego, United States

Third wheel of the third wheel

Today, I went a double date with my coworker, his girlfriend, and her friend. After some drinks, her best friend stopped including me in conversations. We got back to my place and she was trying to fuck both of them, and ignored me all night. This is the third girl this happened with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531 You deserved it 171

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Housing Crisis sucks · 26 February 2024, 06:00 ·Australia

Suspicious

Today, my long-distance girlfriend's family accused me of being a scammer, all because I started a GoFundme to help me move my stuff into storage, as I am getting kicked out of my current place with nowhere to go in the middle of a housing crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419 You deserved it 216

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PeeFlavouredFloss · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Montreal, Canada

Ban that "rule"!

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 915 You deserved it 3 258

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Jessie · 26 February 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Social media drama

Today, I saw my boyfriend took me off his relationship status on Facebook. He just left “In a relationship” blank. This came after he added some girl. When I confronted him about it, he screamed at me to the point of tears, and told me to stop worrying about stupid shit. Apparently, I also ruined his day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840 You deserved it 146

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Destructive · 25 February 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Heavy

Today, my chair abruptly fell apart completely while I was sitting on it. I didn't even do anything. Have I really gained that much weight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 386 You deserved it 190

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types · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

David Attenborough

Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 502 You deserved it 3 745

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Anonymous · 25 February 2024, 15:00 ·United States

Never crush on company time

Today, I sent a heartfelt text to my crush confessing my feelings. I was over the moon when I saw they were typing a response. Turns out they were just asking if I could cover their shift at work. Rejected and now on the night shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413 You deserved it 259

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m…… · 25 February 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Life's what you make it

Today, my parents want nothing to do with me because I can’t stop spending money. Buying junk food is the one thing that makes me happy, and I’ve been to countless therapists and tried every medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 643

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julia · 25 February 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Sharing is caring

Today, my daughter used my towel. She thought that because it was clean, it would be okay. She’s 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171 You deserved it 789

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Anonymous · 25 February 2024, 06:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

It's all too much

Today, I totaled my car whilst rushing to pick up my son from daycare. This happened as I was leaving the hospital, after dropping off a wheelchair to my recently disabled wife, who is taking care of our newborn in the special care unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684 You deserved it 173

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theholt · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Average SunnO))) fan

Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I couldn't help but stare at it and try and figure out what the band was… until he turned to me and said, "Why not take a picture, asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away, I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 908 You deserved it 6 377

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Michael · 25 February 2024, 00:00 ·Hampton, United States

Fighting fit

Today, after training for 3 months for a marathon, three weeks from race day I tripped and fell during my last long run and cracked a rib, so I took ten painful days off. I decided to go try a short run to see if maybe I could still try the race, and got attacked by a German Shepard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588 You deserved it 127

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Pain · 24 February 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Adieu

Today, I saw an old friend while out and about. Since I don't leave the house very often, my friend was surprised to see me in person. He jokingly asked if someone was dying, and I cried in response. I was in fact going to the hospital to say goodbye to my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565 You deserved it 143

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Steady decline

Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 673 You deserved it 25 419

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Anonymous · 24 February 2024, 15:00 ·Jamaica

Meritocracy

Today, after six months of doing the job of 2 people, because all my coworker does is sleep and sit down with her phone, I told my boss that I can't be doing my coworker's job and getting the same salary as her. My boss added just $10 to my salary and told me to let her carry on doing nothing, while I still do the work of 2 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593 You deserved it 140

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Frankie · 24 February 2024, 12:00 ·Australia

Stop trying to make fetch happen

Today, I thought it would be cute to teach my dog a new trick in which I throw and then he brings me back a rolled up newspaper. He disappeared after it, then successfully returned with what turned out to be my neighbor's dirty boxer shorts. Apparently, my dog has a different definition of "fetch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 158

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FailedMommy · 24 February 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Adulting

Today, I found out my 20 year-old daughter has a 46 year-old boyfriend. She met him at her job. When I objected, she told me that I can’t tell her “heart” what to do because she’s “grown” and “in love.” I had to teach her how to wash and she still leaves dirty pads on the floor, but sure, she’s “in love.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 513 You deserved it 209

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Everything Counts · 24 February 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Gimme a break

Today, I walked out on my lunch break to see my steering column destroyed and my back passenger window broken. I'm supposed to be reuniting my foster son with his family tomorrow. Now I need a rental and a shot of something strong to get through this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490 You deserved it 85

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kaz89 · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Hi, how are you?

Today, I overheard a conversation between a coworker and a new employee. The new girl was trying to get familiar with people's names, and she asked my coworker, "Which one is Heather?" He answered, "The annoying one." She said, "Oh, that's Heather." I'm Heather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987 You deserved it 8 450

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MediaBabe · 24 February 2024, 00:00 ·Wallsend, United Kingdom

Movie night

Today, my friend had invited me to his home for a movie night with another friend. I had to decline because I have prior plans. He then revealed that they only wanted me there so I could bring DVDs, but "don't worry, we'll find something on Netflix to watch instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 474 You deserved it 115

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Anonymous · 23 February 2024, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Perfectionist

Today, we finished redecorating my kitchen. My dad has been his usual OCD self about getting it perfect, so when he noticed a shelf was just barely not level, he decided to adjust the screws. It fell off and damaged my floor, so he threw the screwdriver and cracked a wall tile. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530 You deserved it 103

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Fuck dogs, I need a treadmill · 23 February 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Bad doggies

Today, I went for a walk. I was repeatedly barked at, and almost attacked, by nearly a dozen dogs. I have cynophobia from being nearly killed by violent untrained dogs on several occasions, so just hearing a dog bark gives me severe heart palpitations. I'm not kidding when I say I almost had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496 You deserved it 181

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