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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, to prove that my girlfriend is a "total skank", my best friend seduced her and showed me the video he secretly filmed of it. FML

#21457226
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26359) - you deserved it (2437)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by YES I MEAN *EX* GIRLFRIEND (man) - Canada

javierrrrm's comment : Well then shit, what a "best friend" you got there...

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Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

#21457219
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21328) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

cheezter's comment : Never ever ever tell anyone about this

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Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with "Hah, just kidding. You're fuckin' BORING!" FML

#21457207
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (2086)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:20pm - love - by ThroatSlasher (woman) - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

StargazeKitsune's comment : Just be glad people like that show their true colors right away instead of down the road. He saved you a lot of wasted time by making an ass of himself early on. You'll find better. :)

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Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

#21457054
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17115) - you deserved it (35460)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:33am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

#21456831
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17636) - you deserved it (7819)

On 08/16/2015 at 7:37pm - kids - by donuts678 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML

#21456823
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (2191)

On 08/16/2015 at 7:18pm - misc - by NOOOOOO - United States

Today, I realized how cheap I am when I blacked out at a water park and some one yelled "Call 911!" I tried to mutter out "No, that's too expensive!" FML

#21456805
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14701) - you deserved it (13899)

On 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm - health - by extremereviews - United States (Texas)

Today, at a quiet restaurant, my stepdad loudly told me he hopes in the future they have "hover caskets" so he doesn't have to carry my "fat ass" to the grave. All because I didn't want a side salad. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML

#21456695
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (1556)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by pvcnutcrackingdomqueen4u (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25807) - you deserved it (2602)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sell dildos. FML

#21456680
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23483) - you deserved it (1576)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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