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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML

#21425187
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25411) - you deserved it (1763)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:56pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

hellnosucka's comment : I really think you should call Guinness World records.

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Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML

#21425174
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27803) - you deserved it (5753)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by silverspud - United States (Colorado)

pabj208's comment : YDI for knowingly going to an adult toy party with COLLEAGUES and YOUR MOTHER!!!

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Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

#21425087
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (2035)

On 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm - misc - by BrakesNotBumpers (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Afroman720's comment : Common courtesy is to take someone to dinner before the rear ending. This lady needs to learn some manners!

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Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (4145)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

#21424976
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28970) - you deserved it (4501)

On 06/12/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by poor baby - Germany

Today, my friends decided to throw a going away party because I'm moving. It would have been great if I had actually been invited. FML

#21424928
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (2020)

On 06/12/2015 at 10:25am - misc - by rcarn - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

#21424919
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24248) - you deserved it (10212)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:42am - health - by fisted (man) - United States (New York)

Today, an ultrasound tech complimented me on my "exceptionally full bladder". That's probably the best compliment I've received this week. FML

#21424908
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (2072)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:02am - misc - by Jules7594 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a Brazilian wax in anticipation of becoming intimate for the first time this weekend with a man I have dated for a few weeks. I'm so sore it hurts just to walk. FML

#21424841
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (6654)

On 06/12/2015 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Pattie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

#21424815
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25684) - you deserved it (1772)

On 06/12/2015 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

#21424715
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25926) - you deserved it (2299)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

#21424643
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27710) - you deserved it (3547)

On 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by Badhairday - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML

#21424633
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (1761)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by what - United States (California)



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