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Today, my dad told my girlfriend that she's the son he never had. FML

turtle_darkness's comment : Better hurry up and start finishing your food faster than him and peeing around the house to show him you're the dominate male.

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Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

#21519668
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19797) - you deserved it (1463)

On 01/26/2016 at 1:09pm - kids - by justsomesummer (woman) - United States (Oregon)

turtle_darkness's comment : Her parents have obviously done a shitty job..

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Today, I was walking to class. While waiting at the crosswalk, a guy cat-called me from his car. I guess he was pissed that I didn't respond, because he purposely drove through a puddle and completely soaked me and the expensive textbook I was holding. FML

#21519651
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (1581)

On 01/26/2016 at 12:05pm - misc - by Soakedandbroke (woman) - United States (Texas)

tin_cup's comment : Hey guys, how many times have you cat-called a woman and she came running to you? Hint, stop doing it. It doesn't work.

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Today, I requested a pay rise at work. They said they couldn't do it as they have to cut costs, so I resigned. They've now re-advertised my job for more money than I asked for. FML

#21519593
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22466) - you deserved it (2600)

On 01/26/2016 at 6:40am - work - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML

#21519574
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20431) - you deserved it (1884)

On 01/26/2016 at 4:18am - love - by CaptMacLeod (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

Today, I learned the hard way what the inside of my toe looks like. FML

Today, after months of all my friends telling me that the guy whom I was in love with most definitely held feelings for me, I was finally convinced by their words, and with confidence I went and confessed my feelings to him. I was rejected. FML

#21519527
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19632) - you deserved it (1739)

On 01/25/2016 at 11:54pm - love - by UniGrad2019 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML

#21519494
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18989) - you deserved it (1156)

On 01/25/2016 at 10:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from my job. When I asked why, all that was said to me was, "We don't have to disclose that information, but you did nothing wrong. It's just not working out." FML

#21519490
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (1314)

On 01/25/2016 at 10:37pm - work - by Kan23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a girl in my class threw a temper tantrum. Why? Because she wanted my seat. We're in high school. FML

#21519471
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19394) - you deserved it (1281)

On 01/25/2016 at 10:02pm - misc - by 99jellybean (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss used our communal notebook to bitch out our entire department for not leaving a note notifying her that one of the machines was down. She wrote it on the same page as the note I left saying that one of the machines was down. FML

#21519470
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18846) - you deserved it (1048)

On 01/25/2016 at 9:56pm - work - by Helpful Smile - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML



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