The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Bruce Willis move

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 00:00

Today, my wife straight up knocked my mother out cold with a straight jab to the face, turned to walk away, cracked her neck and announced to the world, “I’ve been waiting 4 years to do that.” What the hell has been going on around here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 254

Territorial

By Lost Reggie - 06/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Starkville

Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 113

Found one!

By Anonymous - 18/02/2022 12:00

Today, after many years of denial and avoidance, I've come to accept the fact that I'm one of those people who are turned on by furry adult art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 1 034

Body positivity

By Anonymous - 18/01/2024 09:00 - Switzerland

Today, when I was a teen, I felt inferior for being flat-chested. So I got a boob job. As an adult, I started yoga and meditation. Then I felt foolish for not embracing my natural self and having plastic stuff in me. Got the implants out. Now I'm happy with my looks but have nerve damage from the procedures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 492

But my grandbabies!

By Anonymous - 26/02/2024 22:00 - United States - DeWitt

Today, my fiancé and I were having dinner with my parents. My mom asked when we were thinking of having kids. My fiancé cheerfully said, “When pigs fly and Hell freezes over!” He’s right, but I was hoping to break the news a little more gently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 218

On hold no more

By Ghosted - 01/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, a guy I was seeing’s father passed away. He’d told me he “needed time to grieve” and he’d reach out when he’s ready to talk again. This was a month ago and haven’t heard from him. I just saw my Instagram feed containing a picture of him and his new girlfriend kissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 111

Get out

By Anonymous - 23/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to break up with me again, and actually offered me gas money so that I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 2 049

The situation

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 14:00 - Netherlands - Katwijk aan Zee

Today, I was talking to my situationship when he dropped the bomb that he wanted to break up, and that he'd tested positive for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 205

Healthy relationship goals

By leapfrog998 - 05/08/2021 20:01 - Canada - Bancroft

Today, my husband told me to stop being friends with my best guy friend because I won't let him hang out with his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 995

Ain't gonna end well

By Anonymous - 03/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my abusive mom just moved into my house, within two weeks of me losing my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 149

Too soon

By Emilie B - 20/01/2026 12:00

Today, my mother-in-law in all seriousness told my daughter to not wear shorts and skirts because “men will ogle and rape her.” When I confronted her about it, she told me, “I’m only looking out for her. Is that so wrong?” She’s 9 and she won’t stop asking what “rape” means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 62

Red flag

By Anonymous - 17/06/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got turned down by a woman I like because she said a man in his mid 30’s who’s not already married with kids is a major red flag. I would very much like to be married with kids but it’s just never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 57

Coinkidink?

By Anonymous - 11/01/2025 00:00 - Austria - Vienna

Today, the guy who left me for another woman before Christmas, and who ghosted me after dating for a few months, starts working at the same place as I am next week. I've been working there for over a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 81

By xero_art - 26/06/2009 09:51 - United States

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 63

The Talk

By Ken - 10/05/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I asked my 13-year-old son if he thought he was mature enough for a talk about "the birds and the bees." His response was, "They fly, so what? Why would I care?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 939

How come you were there?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my best friend is mad at me for "letting my paranoia ruin her relationship." I've been telling her for months now that I don't trust her boyfriend's female best friend, but she never listened to me. Guess who I caught in bed together a few hours ago while my best friend was at work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 107

By Cheese4men - 14/05/2010 23:28 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 67

The YouTube police

By Anonymous - 11/10/2023 07:30

Today, just like almost every other day, my mom goes onto the computer and scolds me for what I watch on YouTube, even when the videos aren't that graphic. Today she scolded me because she found out that I'd watched videos related to the Max Headroom signal intrusion back in '87. Why can't I just watch what I want? FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 158

Get better locks

By Aww! You shouldn't have! ....REALLY! - 10/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my friends, led by my best friend, threw me a surprise party. Bearing a cake, they all happily yelled, "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" by suddenly barging in… through the bathroom door. I was on the toilet, in the middle of taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 72

Villain origin story

By Sim Pleton - 27/03/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after international flights while being five months pregnant to elope with a good man, which my family disapproved of, then paying thousands for his visa with limited finances, he told me, after I struggled with breastfeeding days after the birth, that he didn’t care about me, and had only cared whilst his baby was inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 453

Hogwatch

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 00:00

Today, I was once again berated by an idiotic parent. I’ve been called a filthy liberal, a groomer, and had my job threatened several times. All of this because I was teaching second graders about pronouns. You know, the part of English grammar that replaces a noun. Nothing political at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 119

You ******* idiot

By Handuh15 - 31/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 3 300

By nothappywithlife - 30/03/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 48

Settled

By Just good enough - 04/02/2026 15:00

Today, my wife admitted that she settled for me because I had a good job and made enough for her to live comfortably. I shouldn't worry though, because now she's old enough that she won't be able to pull anyone more exciting or attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 07:14 - United States

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 38

Brainrot strikes again

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 241

Hung up

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband booked a restaurant and a trip to the theatre for my birthday, and even got me some nice jewellery. It’s not my birthday. It is his ex-girlfriend’s birthday though. My birthday isn’t for another four months. It’s the thought that counts I suppose. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 75

Short nap

By Anonymous - 10/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 128

Mean Girls 3

By Anonymous - 20/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, a grown-ass woman has launched a Mean Girl-type hate campaign against my daughter. This petty bitch is mad because my daughter is allowed to join the varsity teams while her daughter didn’t make it. My high school days are behind me but I’m ready to meet this bitch in the parking lot. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 93

FML on Facebook

Keywords

My ex Love Sex Weird Surprise Work Miscellaneous Roommate Fire Neighbours Noise Birthday Cute Embarrassing Games Weddings Awkward Money Suspicious Music Drunk Cops Gross Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Relatable Bodyshaming Dating Family

The Top

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 396

You deserved it 8 742

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 672

You deserved it 2 382

Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 550

You deserved it 11 847

Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 258

You deserved it 6 735

Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 2 340

Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 187