Love, Weird and Fight: Bruce Willis move

Bruce Willis move

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 00:00

Today, my wife straight up knocked my mother out cold with a straight jab to the face, turned to walk away, cracked her neck and announced to the world, “I’ve been waiting 4 years to do that.” What the hell has been going on around here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 243

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Same thing different taste

Heavy sleeper

By good_aim - 27/07/2013 08:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 303

You deserved it 26 915

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 974

You deserved it 12 166

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 857

You deserved it 5 521

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 584

You deserved it 5 227

Some winners…

By brawl y’all - 31/10/2020 09:04 - United States

Today, what started as a family gathering turned into an all-out brawl. I saw my son’s wife punch him, so I hit her. Her mom and sister jumped me. My husband was pulling them off when the other husband thought he was attacking them and jumped in, so my son jumped in as well. We won, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 1 142

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 335

You deserved it 5 169

The protector

By Dad - 21/08/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 286

By Anonymous - 17/04/2018 01:30

Today, my husband and I were getting busy on the living room couch when my mother-in-law stopped by and let herself in with a key we didn’t know she had. She then demanded an apology like it was all our fault and stormed out. I still don’t know why she came by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 896

You deserved it 396

Parasite

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 04:00

Today, and since we've had our baby, my mother-in-law started coming round more often, then bringing her stuff to stay overnight, then started claiming she lived here, and got hysterical when we told her she doesn’t. I had to pick her up and place her outside while she punched me in the head repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 101

Grandma's here!

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 14:00

Today, my mother-in-law was so rabid to meet her first grandson, she didn’t just nudge me aside to get to the delivery room, she two-hand shoved me in the chest so I flew backwards and down a flight of stairs. I’m now in a neck brace for a hairline crack to my vertebrae and can’t pick up my own son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 76

FluffythePink 22

Saturday 18 November 2023 9:59

When your wife ko's her mother in law and you don't know why, then you've been living with your head up your arse. Also, you gotta update us when you find out what kind of monster your mother actually is. Seriously dude, don't leave us hanging here.

Linda Graber 12

Saturday 18 November 2023 5:35

Dude. You have to follow this up.

Comments

Linda Graber 12

Saturday 18 November 2023 5:35

Dude. You have to follow this up.

FluffythePink 22

Saturday 18 November 2023 9:59

D J's MOM 17

Saturday 18 November 2023 13:53

sounds like ur mom has been being a total bitch to your wife behind your back and acting all innocent to you. you need to get to the bottom of this one. and yes, totally update us!

L0life29 6

Saturday 18 November 2023 17:35

we need an update!!!!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 21 November 2023 0:09

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a mean old bitch if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls." I'm guessing something like this.