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The all-time greatest FMLs

Not now, Alexa

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was having an intense argument with my girlfriend. At the height of it, in a rare moment of total silence, Alexa announced, “Now playing: ‘Someone Like You’ by Adele.” We both stopped, stared at the speaker, and then continued arguing while Adele sang on in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 345

Unacceptable!

By DLBL - 11/08/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I walked around town doing errands. When I got home, I realized my short socks were two different shades of white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 365

Dog park blues

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 681

Shit list

By L…… - 20/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, after getting ghosted by a company for a job I really wanted, I posted on LinkedIn, venting my frustration with companies not having the decency to send rejection letters. My current boss, who didn't know I was job hunting, saw it, and let me know I'm now on the shit list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 1 025

Mockery

By Jamie Kingslayer - 15/01/2024 05:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I walked into my barbershop and told the owner to, “Give me the Jamie Lannister” (from Game of Thrones). The barbershop was silent, except for one loud laugh. Coming from my ex. She'd followed me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 612

Rushed off my feet

By Anja - 05/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 526

Wait until she's left the room at least!

By Anonymous - 08/09/2024 11:00 - United States - Truckee

Today, I messed up by forgetting that reflections on glasses can make a private experience VERY public. I only this realized after my mom asked what I was looking at; she definitely saw a lot more dick than she would have liked. I feel like such a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 531

Tally

By I'm sorry... - 17/12/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "obsessed" with my new female coworker. She gave me a piece of paper with dozens of tally marks on it. What were the tally marks keeping count of? Every time I've mentioned my coworker to my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 1 026

Wise words of wisdom to consider

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 00:00

Today, I realized that in some of my early relationships the girls were so possessive and pushed for merger and marriage that they scared me, so now I can only be reliably attracted to women who don't want me. The slightest sign of interest in more than a fling and I'm out. It's been like this for 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 413

That went well

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 660

Thanks Aldi

By *Chomp* *Chomp* - 26/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 498

Oddly specific reason

By jesse - 22/11/2024 16:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I went out to dinner with a cute, funny, smart, amazing girl. Or at least I thought she was cute, until she started coughing after her meal. She explained that she coughs after she eats. Can you say dealbreaker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 884

Himbo

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym to do squats. I couldn't even do it without weights on the squatting bar because it hurt too much to rest it on my back and neck. Then my friend who was with me and who is skinny as a rail easily managed it with two 45 pound weights. He claims it's from practice. I guess I’m wimpy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 390

Am I still here?

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 03:00

Today, I walked into the wrong classroom, sat down, took notes for ten minutes, and only realized my mistake when the professor asked me to introduce myself and explain why I was there. I wasn’t even enrolled in the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 334

Heavy emphasis

By James - 04/10/2024 22:00 - Canada - Laval

Today, I was having a passionate conversation about video games with a friend in our school cafeteria when I leaned back in my chair as I empathized a point. I leaned a little too far, tipped over, and ended up sprawled out on the floor, still trying to finish my point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 389

Little shit

By Tired mommy - 11/12/2025 00:00

Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 566

Fashionista

By Cousin_Greg - 14/08/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I got dressed in a hurry and grabbed what I though was a basic white shirt from the clean laundry pile. It wasn’t until I stepped into the elevator at work and saw myself in the mirror that I realized I was wearing one of my girlfriend’s shirt. It was snug, had a floral pattern, and made me look like I was trying too hard to be trendy. It was a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 538

Footie woes

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 00:00

Today, the owners of the team I support continue to employ a manager so bad that he has to be a double agent. Is it too much for a Manchester United fan to ask for, that we don't get relegated? FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 323

Tedious, yet annoying

By Bob - 30/09/2025 09:00

Today, I watched the Dallas Cowboys game, only for it to last for four hours and end in a 40-40 tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 388

Don't mess with crazy

By Just a joke - 17/09/2025 15:00

Today, I saw my buddy at the mechanic's on speaker with his wife. I did a very fake female voice and said, “He’s here with me! He’s my man now!” He rushed home to see all his stuff on fire on the front lawn. I had no idea how psycho she was and now he wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 651

Oh, the irony

By I don't have an anger problem, the world has a moron problem - 29/12/2025 12:00

Today, I went to court-mandated anger management. The guy running the class was an insufferable little dweeb who wasted time teaching us fucking nursery rhymes. I wanted to break his stupid little nerd glasses. Everything about him makes me mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 778

To each their own

By Anonymous - 28/01/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom - Oakham

Today, I accidentally revealed to a close friend that I have a stash of furry porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 654

Bull

By Bull no more - 11/12/2025 20:00

Today, I'm the "bull" of a cuckolding relationship. Well, not anymore: I got the usual "come over" text and went over, only for the husband to come after me with a crowbar, yelling that his wife treats him like dirt because of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 315

Wreckless

By Worthless woman - 24/03/2025 17:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I came home from a work trip, expecting the house to be a wreck. Imagine my shock when I walked in and it was cleaner than I've ever seen. When I sputtered in surprise, my fiance shrugged and said, "I work better alone." Guess I'm just a fucking hindrance, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 578

Not a good look

By Sean - 07/12/2024 07:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 606

Are you even listening to me?

By Alison - 13/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I spent 30 minutes talking to my friend about a new show I was watching, giving all sorts of spoilers. When I finally asked, “What do you think?” she stared blankly at me and said, “I’ve never seen that show. I thought you were talking about a different one.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 423

Absolute beginner

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 557

Let me out

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 07:00 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I found out that shorts are inappropriate to wear in the office. If it wasn't the staff-wide meeting or my coworker telling me to change, I've been sitting in the back praying it's time to clock out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 603

Almost famous

By Not on tiktok, never will - 29/09/2025 22:00

Today, someone asked for my autograph at the mall. Flattered, I signed their notebook and even posed for a selfie. Later I found out they'd thought I was some weird nerdy guy from TikTok. I’m not on TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 374

No, you go!

By Nervous - 17/01/2026 22:00

Today, I've only just got my license and waved someone through at a four-way stop because I was nervous. They waved back. We both kept waving while traffic built up behind us. Someone finally honked, and we both panicked and went at the same time. I stalled the car in the intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 407

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I just passed an important exam. Hours after I passed, I felt a tickle in my throat. I have COVID. I feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 107

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 68

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 663

You deserved it 33 255

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 184

You deserved it 2 430

Today, I learned that the starting date for my class was a typo. Instead of 6/22, it was 6/2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 129

Today, the lady whose son I babysit sent me a text, saying she left a gift for me for all the hard work I've done. I found a beautifully-wrapped box where she said the gift was. It turned out my actual gift was cookies sitting right next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 753

You deserved it 3 806