The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

I can't get you out of my head

By Anonymous - 18/12/2022 09:00 - Portugal

Today, it's been a week since I realized how much work the tongue actually does during eating. It pushes food around the mouth to my teeth like a little slug. I've been so conscious of it, I haven't enjoyed eating since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 816

LET ME IIIIIIIIIIN

By Wtfacebook - 27/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Steele

Today, after two weeks of not being able to log into my Facebook account, I received a prompt to change my password. I interpreted this as them saying that I was hacked, and they had simply shut it down to avoid problems, so I did. It still won't let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 154

Big data is coming for us all

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 17:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was reminded once again how isolated I am while processing data errors. I work with sealed records, and I can't ask anyone for help, or share a laugh at any of the ridiculous names I see. Sigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 109

Turn around, Bright Eyes

By Alma - 01/10/2024 20:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I was at a karaoke bar. After a few drinks, I gave it a go. Halfway through “Total Eclipse of the Heart” I got so into it, I knocked over the mic stand. The mic flew off, hit the DJ, who then hit the emergency stop button, cutting off the music. I froze as the bar erupted into laughter. I did get a free Coke for my “performance,” which was something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 202

Fork off

By Godzilla’s wife - 28/12/2024 18:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 121

Healthy lifestyle

By Jennette - 11/10/2025 03:00

Today, I went for my first morning run in years. I made it half a block before tripping over nothing and face-planting in front of a dog walker. The dog looked genuinely concerned. The walker didn’t. She just snorted and carried on walking the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 115

Creepy customer

By Maddy - 16/03/2022 10:00

Today, I went to check why my eyelash lady never replied to my message from two days ago, asking about an appointment, only to see that I apparently accidentally sent her 15 picture messages of nudes I took for my fiancé. No wonder she didn’t reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 1 534

Following Instructions

By FML Videos - 09/10/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

He's doing his doggone best.

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 106

BEHAVE!

By Reeve of the Shires - 23/04/2022 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son and I were arguing, and my wife yelled at us that the reason we don't get along is because we have identical personalities. She then kicked us out until we learn to get along, so we're sleeping in the freezing caravan, sharing a blanket that's only 6 feet wide and was last used for the cat to give birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 1 289

Treat Yourself Day (derogatory)

By mindy - 24/12/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to be treating myself to a relaxing spa day, thinking it would be a great way to unwind. That was until the massage therapist somehow gave me a "reverse" massage that left me sore in places I didn’t know could get sore. I paid for this torture, and now I can’t even walk properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 115

By kebaby - 19/06/2010 23:19 - United States

Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 191

Lasting first impression

By Anonymous - 03/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 129

Chillin' with Satan

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 164

No more!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. On my way home, my legs gave out halfway up the stairs to my apartment, and I had to awkwardly sit there until I could crawl the rest of the way up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 154

Come clean

By Anonymous - 20/12/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, It's been a week since I asked out the girl I like. We knew each other as kids, and reconnected. We get along perfectly, understand each other's humor, and have similar hobbies, as well as having been on a few dates. She said we can only be friends. She won't stop texting me "What's wrong?" asking to hang out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 479

Time for an episode of Intervention

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, my brother won't fucking stop playing Minecraft whilst on the phone, when we're chatting. All I hear is him playing Minecraft. Every time. He's in university, I'm not even there yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 151

Don't do it

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 08:00 - United States - Coventry

Today, I finally caved and told a friend about my suicide note. She demanded that I promise I wouldn't follow through, but how could I when I was writing it no more than a few minutes before I joined a call with her? The funny thing is, most of that note was me trying to comfort my friends and family for when I'm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 240

Brighten up

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 09:00

Today, my wife decided to paint our dreary blue living room all white to brighten the place up. It does look brighter, I just don’t know why she used brilliant white gloss. The walls are shiny as fuck and reflect the light in your eyes everywhere you sit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 75

Those things freak me out

By Gilly - 02/09/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 496

Life comes at you fast

By Anonymous - 22/10/2023 00:02

Today, I watched a video my ex-girlfriend posted. It was a cute little video of her three children playing at a park. She’s happily married. Meanwhile, I haven’t had a girlfriend since we broke up… 12 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 650

Fix me up

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I realized thanks to two injuries I have that I can't do two routines my doctor wants me to do. I strained something in my right hip so squatting causes me pain. Jogging is also out of the question because my right foot healed wrong when I sprained it, and requires pricey foot surgery to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 90

Hot take review just in

By Anonymous - 15/03/2022 10:00

Today, after nearly three hours of watching the new Batman movie, I realized that the film was a waste of time and moments of my life that I will never get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 1 066

Trash talking little dude

By Proud momma - 03/11/2024 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my toddler learned the phrase “Shut up.” He now loudly says it to anyone who speaks to him, including our elderly neighbor, whose only crime was complimenting him on his shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 200

First time… or not?

By Anonymous - 26/09/2025 15:00

Today, I caught my 5 month-old baby stood up using the sofa to support herself. She can barely turn herself over and hasn’t crawled yet, but she was standing. Then she fell over before I could get a picture, and my husband thinks it’s impossible and that I’m just sleep deprived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 101

Nervous laughing

By Anonymous - 18/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my parents and I were looking for something using the TV's search bar. Despite never, ever watching anything resembling porn, one of the default search options was, "Hot female Asian sex videos." Thank God they have an excellent sense of humor, as they laughed their heads off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 99

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 02:00

Today, I got up early because I had a bunch of work to do. It's now 11:50 p.m and I still haven't managed to get anything done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 617

Whisky dick

By Anonymous - 18/08/2025 21:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, my wife was finally in the mood after 150+ attempts to seduce her and I was drunk to keep it up. Now she's upset and thinks I'm not attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 157

By Tarzan - 25/04/2016 15:35 - The Jungle

Today, due to intense deforestation, my wife Jane and I have to take several transfer vines to get to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 44

Rejection hotline

By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 12:00

Today, after having my car's oil changed, I asked the girl at the front desk for her number and she gave it to me, so I was excited all day. That night I texted her and she asked who it was and I told her my name, then she told me she gave her number out to a lot of customers, so she didn’t remember me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 924

Panic on the number 29

By I tried - 05/11/2025 12:00

Today, I sneezed on the bus. My AirPods fell out and rolled under the seat of the person in front of me. I awkwardly reached down to grab them just as the bus hit a bump. I accidentally grabbed the person’s ankle instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 115

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The Top

Today, after years of crushing on numerous straight guys, I now like a really close friend who is also gay. Too bad, he has already elaborated how perfect I am, but definitely not someone he could like or date. Seems I would have to move on yet again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 278

Today, while taking a rather large crap, I sent my sister a joking text saying, "I'm shitting my ass inside out." Turns out I sent it to my entire list of contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 2 064

Hang in there, buddy!

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 136

Today, at the supermarket, I ignored the "Riding on trolleys down the ramp is strictly prohibited" sign. While going full speed down the ramp, my trolley with $200 worth of groceries in it tipped and crashed. Luckily, I broke its fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 002

You deserved it 48 074

Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 622

Today, I was at my nursing internship. After helping a patient get into bed, I began to walk out of the room when I heard him say to another nurse, "Now that was a king sized lady". To make things even better, she didn't understand him the first time and I got to hear him say it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 670

You deserved it 5 011