By orely44 - 08/03/2013 14:13 - France - Rez

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
I agree, your life sucks 419
You deserved it 71

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Cats can often be assholes, and assholes often fart. The equation was right in front of you, just under the surface. You could've prevented this.

perdix 29

I can visualize the cat saying, "I fart in your general direction" in an outrageous French accent. They oughta make a movie like that!


Heh stop being such a pussy!

Can we Hamsterians (hamster owners btw) and our plastic roll balls join this fight?

the cat felt that he/she didn't feel appreciated so it did what people would do

DyslexicPanda 12

A dog may fart in your face, but at least he'll sit there with you and bask in the glory of it.

Strider207 5

At least the cat didn't leave a cat-ass-trophy

Poor thing probably farted in your face because you don't give him enough attention. I'd kill to get affection from my cat.

Not true, too much affection makes them just as mean. Depending on how grouchy the cat is.

Since when do cats fart on you to get attention? Mine just meow.

Life_sucks_13 6

Honestly me too mine likes to run. =

It can actually be annoying to want constant attention. My cat almost never lets me be alone, meowing as loud as she can whenever I am in the bathroom, school, in another room, even in the same room when I'm not petting her or holding her. They can be clingy creatures. :I

luckyd880 12

You people need to get dogs if your that starved for pet affections lol

39 - My cat did that. A friend told me her dog did that after the dry food got mold and upset his stomach. I didn't smell mold, but got him fresh food; problem solved.

Would you kill your cat? Because that would defeat the point.

Your definitely pussy whipped.

Doesn't change the quality of the comment.

I was just trying to save myself from the rain of grammar Nazis about to come after me

Grammar Nazis don't patter softly like a gentle drizzle. They swoop down upon you; descending like half-crazed vultures. They feed off your misery and revel in your pain. Most of their victims are lucky to escape alive. You corrected yourself just in time.

The birds of grammar.:)


Unfortunately, spell check won't catch if you used a possessive pronoun where you should have used a contraction.

^Here we have the not so uncommon ... English teacher

Bubbelz 25

That depends on which spell check is used. However, self-correction deserved a thumbs up at any time.

#87, I'm not an English teacher, just a grammar snob transcriptionist.

Fuck *******, they always behave like *****...

The most effectual Top Cat!

Jack that word is disgusting and I'm not even female

kthuts 7

For the record Jac had an awesome point. Sadly, nobody else will see the humor in it.

Bubbelz 25

Which word are you talking about? Is it "behave"? Or "****"? If you truly cannot face these terrible words, please refrain from plugging in your computer's power cable. Now unplug it. Save your soul!

Cats can often be assholes, and assholes often fart. The equation was right in front of you, just under the surface. You could've prevented this.

Is that why you own a tiger instead? :')

29- When I was a kid and I got him I was insanely excited, we did everything together. I remember sharing my deepest thoughts and feelings with him. Through the years we've fought and made up more times than I can remember, he's my closest friend. I'm older now though, and when he tackles me when I get home I just can't bounce back like a kid, and his giant tiger farts are just horrendous.

30- You just made me want a pet tiger...

Your picture is a cat...

Which proves he knows what he is talking about.

Cats are assholes. The sooner you realise this and start upping your affection and annoying it to get revenge, the better.

Your face is an asshole. :P

1R1X0X0 10

Something must be wrong with you..

Time to quit buying the cheap cat food....

klovemachine 24

Meow Mix...the food cats ask for by name...MEOW :-D

Or too much good stuff in bulk. Dry cat food can get moldy and cause farting.

Cats are brilliant yet evil

The cat is trying out for Monty Python. "I fart in your general direction!"

It makes you wonder what really goes through their minds... Maybe the Egyptians were onto something

DyslexicPanda 12

World domination duh.. don't you watch movies?

And that's why I hate 98% of cats.

Do you like 2% because it resembles milk or something?

No, I've encountered precisely 100 cats, and I liked 2 of them.

58: Please don't start this infantile debate. We might as well be "screaming" our political views at each other for the next hour.

SEQUESTRATION IS A GIANT CONSPIRACY!!! Oh, wait, that was a "no" on doing that. My bad.

#65 it's not a debate, it's simply a well known fact. Dogs, if well trained, are reliable and obedient. All a cat does is piss and shit and mess everything up, on top of make annoying naggy noises all day because it's being selfish... No matter how good you "train" it. Sorry if you can't agree.

Aww, how cute, you like "training" things to be "obedient". We've recently been adopted by an outdoor cat who, while absolutely loves to force his way in our house, is the most docile cat I've ever meet. Incredibly "well-behaved" and is perfectly content just being in the same room. However, he loves his stomach being rubbed.