The Top

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A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 247

Turn it off

By Sleepless - 04/09/2025 00:00 - Germany

Today, my wife whined that she couldn't sleep, while she had her eyes glued to her phone, her Switch in her lap, the TV on, and her bedside light shining in her face. I've long since learned not to comment on this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 84

Nutso

By space_cadet90818 - 08/03/2010 00:16 - United States

Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 600

You deserved it 2 936

Fashion week

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 04:00 - Germany

Today, I know my clothing size and the clothes I buy usually fit me. Except for underwear. How come women’s panties always seem to be at least one size smaller than advertised? FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 156

SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!

By Anonymous - 05/09/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got on a train and spotted a free seat. I rushed over, sat down and sighed with relief, only to realize people were looking at me. That’s when I saw the “Reserved for the elderly or disabled” sign…and the man with a cane standing in front of me. I immediately offered him the seat, but he just shook his head and said, “You’re gonna need it after this shaming.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 395

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I'm celebrating one year of retirement. Also, almost one year of recovering from a broken leg, quickly followed by a broken hip. I may never walk correctly again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 114

Tasteful

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Greenwich

Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 294

Bad guys

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 03:00 - France

Today, it was my first Grindr hookup (I know, I know…) and I ended up getting catfished by some random dude. I decided to just have a walk and get over it, but then I got followed by another random dude for 30 minutes. I can now confidently say I hate men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 154

Boots on the ground

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 00:00 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I learned that my husband is getting deployed for we don’t know how long, and I’ll be left all alone, in a different country far away from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 205

We meet again (somewhat)

By Tracey - 09/09/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I ran to hug my best friend at the airport after not seeing her for two years. I sprinted, arms wide, yelling her name. Turns out it wasn’t her. It was a stranger with the same haircut who looked absolutely horrified as I body-slammed them in baggage claim. My actual friend was behind me, trying to film the embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 417

Classic

By Diane - 12/09/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 491

My new friends

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 18:01 - Germany - Dresden

Today, on a camping trip, where it’s raining, I'm suddenly popular. With whom? With slugs! I found one in my shoe, one in my bag, two in my cooking pot and the last one I grabbed – surprise! - on the backside of my coffee mug, which was inside the bag, on the bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 111

Burger, everything burger

By HANGRYGAL - 15/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered enough food for three people. The cashier asked if I needed extra napkins “for the group.” I panicked and said, “Yes, for the kids in the back.” There are no kids. Just me, alone, eating like a human trash compactor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 454

Alas…

By Mum2be - 15/08/2021 04:01

Today, I saved a kitten from the streets, cleaned her up and asked the vet what I should do with her because she was the sweetest thing and my cat has a highly contagious illness. The vet had to put her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 135

Let me sleep!

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 00:00

Today, I'm freshly unemployed and so exhausted from my former job that I can actually really use the rest. Too bad that, for reasons ranging from cat noises to period emergencies, I have woken up at 6 a.m. for 4 days in a row now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 183

Suspicious minds

By Embarrassed boss - 17/09/2025 09:00

Today, I saw one of my employees sipping from a beer bottle at work. I marched to his desk, snatched the bottle, and said, "Drinking on the job? You're fired. Get out." I then looked at the bottle. It was kombucha. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 804

Snow day

By Chyna girl - 19/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I pulled my clothes out of the dryer and realized I had washed an entire pack of tissues with them. Every single piece of clothing was covered in what looked like tiny snowflakes. I now look like I’ve been rolling around in dandruff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 162

Miscommunication

By Wasted effort - 21/09/2025 15:00

Today, after months of nasty fights, I decided to turn over a new leaf in my relationship. I apologized for my past actions and spent the week trying to make sure her needs were met and that she felt special. Rather than trying to reconnect, she decided I'm "love bombing" her and now won't even look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 304

Catfishing for fun

By Anonymous - 24/09/2025 03:00

Today, I got tired of my girlfriend always leaving the conversation when we chat, so I changed my number and email address, and texted her under a different name. We talked for hours non stop. Should I tell her it's me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 142

This sucks

By dale - 21/03/2024 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I’m 24. I can either be employed and have money, but having to work weekend nights and have scattered days off, or I can be unemployed and not have money to go out enjoy my city. I haven’t had a weekend to myself since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 416

Rubbers

By Anonymous - 26/09/2025 12:00

Today, I’m bisexual and recently started dating my girlfriend who’s a lesbian. I made a complete fool of myself when we were about to have sex because out of habit I asked if she had any condoms. Sex makes me dumb I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 326

Failed the taste test

By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 16:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was feeling nauseous so I decided to take some Pepto Bismol. However, the fake cherry flavor immediately made me vomit all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 140

Fantasy

By Just Monika - 24/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I got so tired of my friends constantly pestering me about having a girlfriend that I downloaded Monika After Story. Now when they ask, I just say she's long-distance and values her privacy, so I can't show her to them. This is what my life has come to. Forever alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 516

Carny

By Yikes - 28/09/2025 20:00

Today, my 4 year-old son learned that burgers and chicken tenders are made from cows and chickens. I braced myself for the tantrum, only to hear, "They're yummy. Can we turn the cat into a burger? What do squirrels and dogs turn into?" Now I'm scared of my kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 131

Pay up

By wasntme - 10/05/2020 08:00

Today, I got a bill for $62.70 because my company gave my last work car to some idiot who doesn't like to pay the toll road fees. They never took me off the registration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 719

You deserved it 127

Drowning

By ihateschool - 27/03/2024 06:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I've been sick for five days and I have two college essays and a exam coming up, along with a few other assignments. I've been working non-stop for five days with less than six hours of sleep per day, and more assignments are flowing in as I am working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 145

Tedious, yet annoying

By Bob - 30/09/2025 09:00

Today, I watched the Dallas Cowboys game, only for it to last for four hours and end in a 40-40 tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 397

Parking lot chaos

By Clumsy - 03/10/2025 03:00

Today, a bag of grapes fell out of my shopping cart in the parking lot. I bent down to grab them, only for the bag to burst open. I ended up chasing runaway grapes across the tarmac, but it's only when a car of strangers started cheering me on that I took the L, gave up the fight, and went back to buy more, but the remaining stock was moldy and shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 94

Baby don't drive my car

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 18:00

Today, I drove through a drive-through car wash. The steering wheel turned left on it own. I was pretty sure the railing guided the car but my stupid ass turned the wheel to the other side and popped the car off the rails. It crashed into one of the machines and now I have a huge dent to the front of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 1 118

Family drama

By No, we never thought to just ask him - 30/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I found one good thing that came from my great-uncle's death: My family can no longer start arguments about his date of birth. Except now I have a new problem: They're mad at me because I was right all along. Someone's dead and they're too busy being sore losers about a date to care. I miss him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 106

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The Top

Today, after months of helping my mother with bills because she claimed she had no money, I found out she makes way more than what I do. She just wanted my money for alcohol and drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 346

You deserved it 1 220

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 223

You deserved it 5 362

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 059

You deserved it 3 195

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 868

You deserved it 9 373

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 807

You deserved it 7 384

Today, my girlfriend broke it off with me when she realized I can no longer treat her to expensive gifts and meals. My ex-wife is bleeding me dry with child support payments, I can no longer afford the lifestyle I used to have. She won’t take me back. Now I’m totally single and broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 1 243