The Top

I couldn't list everything that was stolen but it was my sirious radio, my ipod, my GPS, and my sister's GPS (her fault). Nothing was in plain sight except for the radio. And the parking pass itself was $100. Also... I think burgled sounds waaay weirder that burglarized...

Tough choice

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 10:00

Today, I escaped my husband's snoring by going to sleep on our sleeper couch, only to be welcomed by an excited mosquito population, which sounding like, "Happy hour guys, she's on her period, let's suck this eternal source of blood!" I went back next to my husband and I didn't sleep, but at least wasn't being bitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 170

I want to break free

By Anonymous - 02/09/2022 19:30 - India - Delhi

Today, I realised that I still don't know what to do with my life, since my parents have taken decisions for me my entire life, and are forcing me to a field of study which requires enormous amount of dedication and years, which I have no interest in, but still have to do because I don't know what else to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 554

Salty

By Anonymous - 29/12/2023 02:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I made Salt Water Taffy for the first time, misread the recipe, and put 1.5 cups of salt instead of the 1.5 teaspoons it called for. Needless to say it's inedible and I had to throw it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 718

Grumpy face

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 21:00

Today, my daughter confidently told me that I’m not allowed to ignore her when she’s sulking on purpose. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Clearly this child has spent too long listening to my ex-wife and her coven of brain-dead cackling witches, AKA her mother and aunties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 158

By wiper - 04/05/2011 03:12

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 458

You deserved it 5 760

Sympathetic barfing

By Sam - 19/09/2022 05:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a kinda wet feeling. When I put the lights on, I realized that my baby must have had a stomach bug and had puked all over the bed. That was when I realized that I had a stomach bug too and puked on my poor little baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 232

Make your mind up!

By EpicOracle - 04/07/2025 11:00 - Nigeria

Today, my ex, who has been asking me to get back with her, told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me when I asked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 300

Pining

By akvan - 06/09/2022 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm obsessing over finding out anything about my ex. A month ago, I finally deleted his number from my phone, but if I'd known it would just make me start obsessing over him again, then I wouldn't have deleted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 1 211

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 977

You deserved it 6 847

Gross, dude!

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 02:30 - United States

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 421

You deserved it 3 183

Tasty snack

By hank - 01/01/2024 15:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was babysitting my neighbour's six hamsters. My cat got in the room and opened the cage. I came home to no hamsters in sight and a very satisfied looking cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 679

My boy

By NeverEscaping - 03/02/2013 00:52 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 091

You deserved it 2 934

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 427

You deserved it 9 226

A smoke alarm speaks!

By Anonymous - 11/01/2024 06:00 - United States - Oak Park

Today, I’m so over my boyfriend smoking too many cigarettes, and I hate cigarettes. The smell is just disgusting and plus it makes my nose stuffy. And he gets ashes everywhere. Plus he always leaves his room a mess. Other than him being financially stable and fun, he's such a slob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 782

By wwasmer - 27/02/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 887

You deserved it 16 954

By Anonymous - 31/01/2013 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 000

You deserved it 5 774

By lolgarbl - 26/02/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 305

You deserved it 2 779

By jcheer113 - 17/05/2010 04:10 - United States

Today, while I was driving, I saw my driving instructor from high school walking on the sidewalk. As I waved to him, I rear-ended the car in front of me. Guess I really showed him how much I learned from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 930

You deserved it 31 787

Chill out, dude

By tttTommYyy - 19/09/2022 19:00

Today, I cursed out a school bus driver for blocking me from making a turn. What’s wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 1 082

Bad women's anatomy

By Anonymous - 07/07/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend noticed dark lines that look like scars on my inner thighs. He confronted me about them, thinking I was cutting myself, and now wants me to see a therapist because he thinks I'm suicidal. They're stretch marks. He won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 131

The twisted case of the suitcase

By Cecilia - 20/09/2022 05:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I realized that my addiction to YouTube true crime had gone too far when I immediately though, "Dead body!" when I came across a seemingly abandoned suitcase outside my building. It's only when my neighbor came outside to pick it up that I stopped calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 1 071

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my 5-year-old daughter had to find pictures of animals that she felt represented each member of her family. This was the one she chose for me. I think she might be trying to imply something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 416

You deserved it 638

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 426

You deserved it 8 487

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 838

You deserved it 6 077

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 232

You deserved it 32 329

Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 432

You deserved it 386

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 586

You deserved it 2 788