not the most...lucid response

I have to go to Amazon to get right-handed cleaning products. They don't stock them locally, so I need to get them delivered. Maybe that'll work for your mom?

Sounds like a symptom of dementia or senility. Better have her see her doctor asap. Good luck, OP!

either grandma is a smartass, or she might be losing it a little

Imho, you are a prick.

She said it was dirty because she wanted YOU to clean it, no? But strange answer, or good sense of humor from her.

My dad was weird for a long time, turns out it was a slow clotting in his brain, a stroke that never fully clotted... until it did. one half of his body was always much stronger than the other, thought it was normal, but his logic was most always off.

Um... she's also 70 years old. She may be unable to do it for that reason alone.