Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, after 3 months of job hunting, I finally got a job. But now my birth certificate and social security card are somehow lost, and I can't start until I let them see a copy. FML
Today, because of my mom going on a drunken adventure, I now have a FBI file. I'm Canadian and my birth certificate proves I wasn't even alive when she pulled this stuff. FML
Today, I realized that I'm on the top of not having my drivers license/ state ID (I was submitting my taxes and needed it) I also threw away my brand new passport because I thought it was trash in my boyfriends car. FML
Today, I found out that my passport expired two days ago, two days before my first vacation abroad. I only found out when the airline employee scanned it at check-in, looked at me with sympathy, and said, "I don't think you're going anywhere today." My friends are currently posting beach photos while I'm filling out passport renewal forms. FML
Today, I went to the bank to open an account. It took hours for them to tell me that I needed my driver's license, passport, and residency paper. I returned with the documents. They then said that they couldn't help me. FML
Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I'm actually alive. FML
Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML
Today, I learned my application for resuming my citizenship in my home country (Australia) after being abroad for almost 12 years is being denied based on bureaucratic bullshit, and I'm going to be sent away to a country (USA), where I have no family or support, to be homeless and without the above. FML
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
Today, the passport office informed me I won't get my passport in time to go on holidays. However, they took the money for the passport out of my account 2 months ago, causing me to go overdrawn, and not pay my travel insurance. The same insurance I needed to get the cost of the holiday back. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
Apparently your existence has been shut down too.
Kheasus 8
well that's one way to be off the grid...
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Comments (135)
Dt33345 13
That sucks. Sorry about that OP.
prinncess00 16
You should get an American Express n go crazy. Then sure them because "you don't exist".
ohcheriecherie 20
we need a follow up
incoherentrmblr 22
Two things in life are certain: Death & Taxes. You're dead & still paying taxes. FYL indeed...
Kheasus 8
well that's one way to be off the grid...
Kamon97 23
Lol just make real life your own gta 5 playground since you technically don't exist XD
sarah6786 14
when I went to get my NYS id I needed my social security card. I needed my id to get my card and my card to get my id. I know it doesn't matter to anyone, but yeah.
michael666 7
I had to change my last name because my social security number and birth certificate last names didn't match,
crimsonlover4 31
OP should talk to Ron Swanson! Oh wait...
ChevyRedneck85 13
So let me get this straight. It's this difficult to get a passport to go to another country. But hey lets leave the border open and offer free tuition. Welcome to America...aka Obamaland
KawaiiCupcake 14
On the bright side OP can flick them off. That won't get her in trouble because she doesn't exist....
ThriceWritten 21
They need to get their stuff straight. That's ridiculous.
airforce987 20
Actually it makes sense. To truly "prove" ones existence, or to apply for many official licenses/accounts/etc. you need more than one document of identification. A birth certificate is a valid form of identification but it can be faked. To really prove you exist, you need to provide other forms like a social security number and a drivers license. Showing up in person to resolve the situation wouldn't hurt either.
rocker_chick105 31
I'm sixteen so I'm not sure, but don't you need a social security number to pay taxes like OP said they do? Please correct me if I'm wrong.
VeganVampyre 27
16- it doesn't make sense at all. How can you be a citizen if you don't exist? I think its safe to assume they have all other relevant info since they didn't say the issue was missing ID, they said her birth certificate only proves she's a citizen, not that she exists. But if she's been born, and she's a citizen, and they've spoken to her, then she must exist. They're just being dumbasses.
spaced94 15
Contact your congressman! That's what they are there for.
falon142012 22
That doesn't make much sense at all, that you can be a citizen but not exist. Maybe a resident, but a citizen? And also, is your passport office shut down? Some are. You might have to find one to actually go to though, to clear this all up.
love_me_electric 20
I think by "not exist" they meant the birth certificate might actually belong to a dead person. So it proves they WERE a citizen at one point, but not necessarily any more. When I applied for my passport I needed two pieces of ID and at least one of them had to be a recent photo ID (I used my license).
airforce987 20
59, I know it doesn't sound logical, but the government can't assume a birth certificate proves existence. I'm sure OP has plenty of other forms of ID but maybe they were never officially used through the system. Think about this: criminals who launder money use fake accounts to hide their money. They fake a birth certificate and drivers license to get a bank account but the person they belong to doesn't actually exist. On paper, they pay taxes, own a home, and are a citizen, but don't exist. Ever seen Shawshank Redemption?
BrotherPhil 35
That's no good - the Tea Party has shut them down.
grunt_fml 17
But what happens when your house burns down with all your papers? Even without being careless things like this can happen. I understand the mechanics, but that does not make this less ridiculous or stupid.
RedPillSucks 33
That's why you put important documents in a fire safe or a bank safety deposit box. People saying that you need two pieces of ID are absolutely right. Both a birth certificate and a social security card and proof of residence or something...
gracehi 33
Apparently your existence has been shut down too.
SmuggletheBudgie 15
oh hai parrot friend! Hope you get your existense confirmed OP apperently airports hold that right now :(
Roskie 16
Someone needs to separate these parrots before we have a mimicking cycle.
gracehi 33
Someone needs to separate these parrots before we have a mimicking cycle. Dammit! Not again! I've been three months mimicking clean. Looks like I'm gonna have to start that expensive rehab all over again.
tranced_ 45
don't pay taxes then. problem solved!
gracehi 33
Ha! I bet the government would realize she exists real quick then!
kyu_Q 19
yep. They would prove your existence and sue you for back taxes. But is your social security number issued at birth or do you ( or your parents) need to apply for it using the birth certificate? And isn't there a record of your birth where ever they keep those records in your town/city?
LadyGunslinger 5
No kidding, right?
Rainhawk94 27
Send them a selfie. With French toast....i forgot where i was going with this
ChenEighty 20
Hopefully to France.
FitForFun 11
Dude join the CIA and you can be like a super badass agent that does not exist.
08zw 19
I can't see FMLs posted by nonexistent people.
Rainhawk94 27
I Wish i looked like you
itsmecutiepie 17
Ruuuude.
smithv171 17
Wow. I just don't understand how this happens.. Sorry OP.
Trinidad727 9
That's some weird shit man!! Govt got a close eye on you.
LukeE45 10
well aparently they don't if OP doesn't exist