Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Bad timing?
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-husband just had a baby with his new partner. We only split up a week ago. FML
Heartwarming
Today, I had to break the news to my husband that I had miscarried our first child, to which he replied, "Thank God!" and told me he wanted a divorce. FML
Congrats!
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Happy new year, huh?
Today, my husband of 12 years announced that he wants a divorce and that he hadn't liked me in YEARS. FML
Dodged a bullet
Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
Top comments
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
...was?
Nevereverland 8
Congrats!! At least it wasn't a positive HIV test.
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Comments (340)
skyboy_fml 2
First
Futacy 29
Aww, he left something for you to remember him from. Thats so sweet.
TarieBoo 2
first to post a stupid commment^
xPhoBiuHzZz 1
This isn't YouTube bud.
GVirdi 11
21 you mean Facebook
day624 14
Uh.. Worst
Amethyst888 14
If you have nothing meaningful to contribute, especially if you are the first comment, then don't ******* bother wasting our time and a first comment on informing us that you were *gasp* first to comment.
ugwmii 0
I agree
zinnyt 4
Well as long as it was his...
21jason 9
Was his??? Well then what changed that?
chilearmy123 4
Hahaha sucks to suck!!
ALpein 0
A lot of comments on this FML seem like people are taking this personally.
igive 29
30-something that rhymes with smishsmortion
mars13_fml 8
Idk why the baby being his would b a good thing since he left...
FML_Master2133 6
90- the pregnancy test read positive...
mars13_fml 8
92- I know but why is it a good thing?
kitsuneluvuh 12
Dude. The test was positive for pregnancy, meaning she's pregnant. In this case, "positive" =/= "good"
twinkiefeets 17
Are u seriously this stupid--mars13
mystashisgone 6
So you had sex in the time took for it to show that you were pregnant and you were already divorced? Unless he cheated or something rash like that I would figure that the sex would end well before you were pregnant and divorced...
hannahkours 0
20 years?? Kinda old to be having kids.
BunchieRules 31
104 - If you are going to insult someone, at least take the time to type the two extra letters in "you".
bitch_pleez 10
108, what if they got married in their 20s? Then they wouldn't even be 50 yet, and kids could be a possibility still.
yahoowizard 16
117 possible, but still, pretty late to be having kids
OhDearBetrayal 25
117- 37 is the maximum age of safe fertility so if she's 40 there's a high chance of complications. Also, if she is 40, that would mean she would be 60 by the time her kids grow up to be adults. Who wants that?
AliceLockehart 18
My Mum's partner just turned 50 & they have a 7 month old.
_streets_ 19
93 - Op means the only thing positive in her day was the pregnancy test so positive as in 'yes you are pregnant', she doesn't mean the only good thing. There are two meanings for positive.
philbelfrage 13
I believe mars13 was referring to the poster of this comment who said "well as long as it was his" like as long as it's his baby it's all good. Also, even if she is older it doesn't say they were trying for a baby. I don't think they would be trying for a baby anyways as it is pretty apparent things probably weren't going to well in their marriage.
dubstep12 8
My dad is 66 and he has a 17 year old
ThisBiatchFMLs 5
I think there are 2 options for the "was his part", either shes aborted it, or shes not going to let him have contact with the child.
DocBastard 38
OhDearBetrayal - women can have children safely well into their 40's and even 50's in rare instances. Yahoowizard - Who the hell are you to decide when people should and shouldn't have children?
1crabbygirl 10
In the state where I am originally from, they won't grant a divorce if you are pregnant.
mylifesucks_fml 1
dubstep12- you know guys can have kids whenever... Even if they're like 80 or 90 right? It's the girls who stop being able to reproduce after a certain age. Or menopause.
OhDearBetrayal 25
184- I'm aware of that, I was just stating that there's a higher rate of complications in those people who have children later in their years. There was a woman who had a child when she was 70 something so of course it's possible. I wasn't including that 1%.
OneLittleAdditio 9
well said Mr. Docbastard. my mama has a two year old and a nine month old and they are the healthiest babies I know :) and my mama is 42! its never too old to have kids as long as you know you can take care of them like my parents can.
DomDomxoxo 16
135: My mom was 41 when she had me (:
mars13_fml 8
148- thank you I was just referring to the comment. I know there are two meanings to the word positive lol but people kept saying that her getting it was good and I didn't think so, so I wanted to know why.
AliceLockehart 18
My Mum's 38 & this is baby number 7 for her. Healthiest (Not to mention prettiest) baby I've ever seen. I know a few older women that have had babies recently, all of them healthy :).
Jezlovespink 5
my mother in law had her last baby at 42 and she was fine, it actually seemed like if she got preggo pretty easy...as if in she did not have any problem trying. (she told us it was a "surprise baby, not planned out thou).
mylifesucks_fml 1
213- NO ONE SAID IT WAS GOOD!!! The pregnancy test was positive as in she's pregnant, but everything else is bad, including that the child is his!!! Wow. Just wow....
cameron194 9
Hey OP, two words .. Child support :p
GrahamAker 3
I think the reason it's an fml is because he divocred HIM while bieng pregnant. And his lawyers might be able to say by doing that she wanted to raise the kid on her own. Thus losing child support and other benifits.
smartone1947 0
Ur a dumbass
kittykat72 4
Well what of they had early marriage lets say 18 she would be 38! That's not old at all dumbass!!!!!!!
doctorhook86 24
272: I know it's pretty common, but im not convinced people under 25 are mature enough for marriage. Maybe not even under 30... Actually scratch that; I don't think some people will ever be mature enough for marriage. (Girls and guys both)
ReesieBanana21 12
Divorce ain't looking too great now, is it?
tori1664 0
Uhh, I'm 18 and have been married for two years. Also my mom was 37 when she had me and is now 56 and my dad is 63. :)
tweetbaby14 18
293, you got married at 16? Where exactly are you from?
butterybiscuit 6
You catch on quick don't ya.
Anai08 17
274- I actually completely agree. I feel like people nowadays don't take marriage seriously enough, or don't understand what responsibility/work it really is at times. And there are some people, who are never mature enough to understand this, but get married anyway because of numerous societal expectations and such. Hence, divorce rates in this country are ridiculous. 293- I don't know you, so I can't say how mature or not you are, and by no means do I judge you for your decision. But I cannot even IMAGINE tying my life to someone forever at 16. I have just barely begun to live my life and become the person I want to be. So how could I promise someone the person I am today is who they'll have forever, when I know that I (and my life) will be totally different ten years from now? And I'm 22, and have been in a great, stable relationship for three years.
Liana23music 0
No its not a good thing. Don't u see the part where it says FML!
Liana23music 0
Dumb @$$
kattylizbeth 19
Docbastard: after 35, it is recommended that women not have children as the chance for down syndrome and other birth defects are much higher. This is fact however, my 39 y/o cousin just had a healthy baby. Regardless, I doubt women in their 50's will be having babies as they should have hit menopause by their late thirties or late fourties. You have to understand that women know their child bearing limits.
kattylizbeth 19
You, sir, are an idiot. Read my comment at the very last reply, and weep. G'day now!(:
venom1576 3
The father is never too old to have children. They meant the mother. This means the dad could be 75 and the mom 30 and still have a child. Yet the other way around is near to impossible. Thus, so what if your father is over 60?
venom1576 3
Exactly what I said in my replay!
SBurrke 11
We all understand she's freaking pregnant, but how is this a good thing when she just divorced the father!?
SBurrke 11
Wow you're an asshole.
daaniel69 6
That sucks!
MCRaddict15 15
Does it, now?
thejewishfuhrer 17
Why do people keep posting comments like these? Like c'mon, this doesn't restore my faith in humanity.
conqueror57 11
Barbecue sauce
dubstep12 8
Haha. Conquered you made me laugh. Everyone was all serious then here you go saying "barbecue sauce" Lol ._.
ScaughtieHolden 11
There's a button for "That sucks" you know. It's way easier to click once than to type. Conserve your energy for the apocalypse and stop posting obvious comments. c:
lolfood 24
I will find you, and I will kill you.
babyguns143 5
Granted, your comment sucked...but completely off topic-I love your picture, it made me LOL
False_Stupidity 41
Barbecue sauce rocks.. especially on bacon!
fishereric 1
Is no one picking up on that unless these were the world's quickest divorce proceedings, they must have had sex when they were separated and well on their way to being divorced? They deserve it.
AKGirlinSD 20
324, I thought the same thing. However. here is a theory: In CA, once a request for a divorce is turned in, months later a judge makes their decision, and after the involved parties are granted a divorce, they aren't divorced for 6 months. So maybe the original poster meant the judge granted the divorce today and they had sex days before someone requested the divorce?
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
...was?
mango260 9
so.....
jessimica642 8
Abortions pizza your loss is our sauce!
Rectumended 3
Steves abortions no fetus can beat us. You **** em we suck em!
DontModMeDammit 10
59 > 128.. Shit that doesn't make since.
thesubconscious 9
His pregnancy test? That's what I got out of that...
ThisBiatchFMLs 5
My guess abortion or shes going to be a bitch about the divorce and not let him have contact with the child
nerdchic 5
174 - how is that being a bitch? 20 years is a long time to just end it.. You don't know the entire story so judging just makes you look like a fool.. And if he's a deadbeat then damn straight I won't let the guy see the child
TheDrifter 23
Gotta love that double standard. The mothers posting on this fml all seem to agree that they have all the rights and the ex husband should just shut up and pay, and be happy to do it. I say if she agreed to divorce him before she knew, he should be treated as an anonymous donor. Let the op take all legal and financial responsibility for her choice to raise the child or not.
TheRealMarkair 1
221 You are very quickly becoming one of my favorite commenters to read. As I read through most of the comments on this FML I found myself thinking along the exact same lines as you have in pretty much every situation. o_o
darwinismisalive 3
Some fathers don't deserve to have contact. My ex is case and point. Current US Army soldier, drug addict, alcoholic, sex addict, manic and a sociopath who brainwashes our 5 year old and tries to take him to a foreign country to flee from child support. Bam.
jajaflan 4
If u have been married twenty years im guessing youre about 45... How can u still fertalize.. My wife stopped @ like 40 ir 41
justspin 7
People get married as young as 18.please think before you post. Thanks :)
oneFUCKINword 8
Am I the only one wondering why they were still having sex if their marriage was bad enough to get a divorce?
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
She could be as far as three months along before noticing, and they had angry sex or make up sex back then before realizing a divorce was imminent.
Aleys_fml 21
most woman go into menopause at like 50ish
meowcenarie 4
Hopefully he's supportive about it.
mekaylahm 0
O.O I'm so sorry
Jonaahhhh 12
That's definitely going to put a bit of a bump in any new relationships...
TxCountryBeauty 10
And a bump in her tummy:)
AsianCookie247 14
^ durr da durr. That was the whole pun, my little ignorant friend.
2oc 5
Not gonna lie I probably would have missed that pun had 68 not said something
Jonaahhhh 12
Same here ;) That was an unintentional pun on my part...
Stupend0us 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
More like FHL. You probably already screwed him on alimony and now you'll do it with CS.
1x1y 12
Bitter much? You don't know anything about her!
JessicaNB 2
#8- It's not really fair to say she's going to screw him with the child support, it's his kid too, and he deserves to pay any child support needed.
day624 14
Ok someone is taking this personally.. Personal experience hun?
rainbowflag 2
you don't even know if she got alimony not everyone is as big of an asshole as you 8
Greendaycheese 12
Probably a personal experience that they're blaming on 'all' females.
buttercup1998 5
That is a very rude comment....do you even know what she is going through? Probably not right? Your probably a very self centered f**king guy in a bad mood bc you have to put up with a mad woman or have mommy issues....asshole.
mylifesucks_fml 1
Not all females end up with the kids all the time an the guy pays child support. Just cuz she had it doesn't necessarily mean she'll keep it. And how do you know they won't have joint custody?
nerdchic 5
Exactly^^.. He better ******* pay it. It's called child SUPPORT for a reason
thatonename 7
Just tossing this out there? If she divorced him, why should he have to pay child support? And let's say it's slightly different circumstances where she knew she was prego before the papers were served. It was her choice to leave, shouldn't she have to take all the responsibilities associated with leaving?
raraisbang 12
211 that's the stupidest thing I've heard in quite awhile. First of all, just judging by the way the fml is worded, I'm assuming she found out after the divorce. Second of all, you should not have to stay in a loveless relationship because you are pregnant. The father of the baby should still support his kid, no matter what the circumstances. He made half the baby, and he's probably half responsible for the divorce. And even if he isn't, he still shouldnt get anal about supporting a baby he helped make.
TheDrifter 23
It's her child, her right to choose to keep it or not. The only part he has in the process from here on out is to pay for her choices. The "it's half his" argument is seriously getting old. If he has the responsibility to pay for the upbringing, shouldn't he get some say in it? Maybe a fair chance at custody? Option to let the mother keep the financial responsibility along with the child if he does not want it and she chooses to keep it?
nevershoutkendal_fml 10
211- You sound pretty ******* dumb. My dad pays child support on me even though he and my mother got a divorce. He is VERY involved in my life. The divorce hasn't changed anything. He buys me nice things, and still pays a hefty amount for child support. He tells me that whenever he gets a raise, I do too. There are some good- hell, AMAZING fathers out there. And if you have a child with someone and you separate, you STILL have to pay child support. Just because you divorce doesn't mean the child disappears.
Raooka 6
It's his child too. Why is it that it's only their child when it comes to child support payments but it's HER child when it comes to deciding anything about that child, or custody?
raraisbang 12
I think that if the father wants visitation rights he should fight for them, if he doesn't, that's his loss. But no matter the circumstances, he still needs to pay child support for the kid he made.
downtime 12
IMO, if you've been married and had a child together than later on decide to get a divorce then so be it, you take responsibility for it because you both went in expecting everything to work and it didn't. But when the child is conceived in a time when she plans to leave him then it seems like it is entirely her responsibility. As far as he is concerned he is still in a marriage, and therefore knowing that sex may lead to childbirth is not necessarily a bad thing to him. She was the one having doubts and reconsidering the relationship while still engaging in sex, so in a way he was deceived. I know the courts would rule in favour of what is best for the child, which makes sense, but it doesn't change the fact that the father was effectively screwed over.
day624 14
211- shut the hell up you freakin idioy.. Its his kid so yes he has to support his child financially along with emotionally etc
cinderella10383 6
276 where does it say that she wanted the divorce? It clearly states it wasn't a good day for her so maybe he initiated the divorce and she got pregnant during their last encounter. Maybe they tried to make it work but failed. It's his kid, he has an obligation to be there physically and financially as does the mother!
Nevereverland 8
Congrats!! At least it wasn't a positive HIV test.
Larawk 8
Baby back baby back baby back ribs. What?
Rectumended 3
What?
MedKits 9
What?
iliketurdles 7
In the but.
MissMae93 23
132 - Your comment would be a lot funnier if you spelt "butt"correctly ;)
asherm 15
If it had been "in the butt," she wouldn't be in the condition she's in...,
Yourheadache 19
165.. that just made my night.
iliketurdles 7
133, That's why you don't go on FML in the early hours of the morning. By the way, you're freaking cute. And by you I mean the turtle sunbathing behind the girl in her sundress.
meihua 19
I've seen this before.