Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
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Top comments
Calyx_fml 22
I hit YDI after reading the first sentence.
Gothicbunnyx3 16
"hello?" "awh what's that smell?!?!?" click.
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Comments (165)
The_Hitdude 12
You said it, I didn't.
kooochris1995 14
What?
SirCharles83 13
Probably "I'm an idiot"
The_Hitdude 12
^Exactly. Probably should've worded it better.
KiddNYC1O 22
Nah, I got it right off the bat.
Bored_18 3
You can look up on NYTimes - U.S. Withheld data on risks of distracted driving and also look up Strayer's and Johnston's (2001) Lab Experiment about stimulated driving task.
Guren 0
You probably should be talking on the phone while driving anyway
Guren 0
*shouldn't
Jiplo 18
Why? Do you look at the road with your mouth? 'Cus I sure don't.
jisaac09 25
Because a lot of traffic accidents are the direct result of cell phones. Most are probably from texting but people get to driving really stupid when they're on the phone. I have almost been hit and almost hit plenty of people because they were on the phone (and because I wanted to make an example of them).
Awes0meperson 10
Right… because almost hitting people who are on their phones is way better than talking with a hands free device while driving…
jamiealison1 0
In some places in Canada your not aloud to talk on your phone while driving... You get a 160$ ticket if they catch you.
Adelaide_CF 6
In my country, you aren't ALOUD to do that, too. We must talk quietly... :D
Jf770 10
Makes sense.
phantumgrey 6
Yep idiot indeed
Calyx_fml 22
I hit YDI after reading the first sentence.
iamyummylicious 14
Why? You can now make phone calls in your car without even touching the phone or looking away from the road.
Pegasister_fml 5
I agree. Calling or texting someone is really dangerous, even if you don't have to touch anything! You could still be distracted.
The_Hitdude 12
True, but studies have shown that even with this new technology, people still get distracted because their main focus is the call, not the road. If one of your senses are distracted/compromised, it throws all of the other ones out if whack. Have you ever heard of the eating an onion blindfolded while smelling an apple experiment? If so, this is a little similar to that.
SirCharles83 13
So, by your reasoning, drivers shouldn't talk to passengers in their car. What's the difference between being on the phone while driving, and speaking to a passenger in the car, provided you have hands free or Bluetooth?
hdg2748 4
Soooo, when someone is in your car you sit in complete silence? Because IF she didn't need to touch anything to make the call, it seems like pretty much the same thing to me
The_Hitdude 12
^ In terms of hands free and Bluetooth, there is no difference, you're right. But the fact is, many people don't have/use those things, more often than not it's their phone...hands-on.
SirCharles83 13
45- I agree. But since your previous comment started with "even with new technology" you weren't talking about people with "hands on" phones right? Just sayin.
The_Hitdude 12
Yeah, guess you got me there :).
sadistmonkey 19
Unless you have Siri or some other voice recognition system you can't make a phone call without playing with the phone. That's pretty distracting even if the conversation itself isn't.
murdersquirrel 15
41 - It depends on the nature of the conversation. It's a bad idea to drive while arguing/crying/receiving bad news. Or even really good news. Conversation can be distracting either way, whether it's in person or not.
bobby_salcedo5 6
I did too. Not because she was talking and driving, but because she's a woman. She deserves it.
iamyummylicious 14
I was merely suggesting what 41 was saying. Mir :( Hands free is really no different than in car conversations. And a lot of people DO have this.
kindgremlin 5
I like you Calyx
GigaPudding_fml 24
41, there is a difference though. The people that are with you in the car are aware of the situationes you're in, they notice when to be quiet or when the driver has time to talk.
ingernh 4
You're lucky he did'nt smell your stupidness..
ItsTheKing 10
But we can read yours. Didn't*
KiddNYC1O 22
Burn.
DirtyMike911 0
Hmm, yes. Stupidity*.
GoW_Chick 15
I didn't know stupid gave off a scent... Pray tell, what does it smell like?
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm disappointed, GowChick...
emmacharbs 1
Lol 7, I thought that was really witty, these other people have no sense of humor
GoW_Chick 15
66- I'm disappointed with it to. :'( my comment skills are lacking, this is what I get for taking a break from the FML game. *goes to corner and curls into ball*
devil_laugh 8
Haha, this comment sucks!
Gothicbunnyx3 16
"hello?" "awh what's that smell?!?!?" click.
xsilentxninjax 10
This comment made me laugh so much haha.
bettyc4 26
Yes. Yes you are.
GoW_Chick 15
You OP are indeed an idiot. I think this comment deserves more thumbs up, because when someone does something this moronic all you can do is agree with their observation of their own stupidity.
itsmee369 0
Hey what's up
FML2_XF 3
Hey!!! Where's Perry?!?
khaya 9
What phone do you have, because I want it. Video calling can only get better with the sense of smell.
kb021 18
YDI for using the phone while driving.
dcaruso 1
Ever heard of... Hands free? Blue tooth? Speakerphone?
TheDog6 24
Ever heard of Car accidents, Vehicular manslaughter ?
quontag 15
Ever heard of cake?
sabrinaacrow 26
I like cake
OHai15 12
Lol if my hubby smelled my fart, we'd both laugh and make a competition out of it. :D
jizzwold 21
Thanks for sharing.
ScarletFever67 6
That's sounds....fun?
OHai15 12
ur welcome :)
WhoaItsKiernan 4
You're hubby? You sound like you're five.
benhd1 14
Wasn't that an FML on here, a violent farting competition?
OHai15 12
i am five :D
OHai15 12
i like how 96 talks about me yet she can't spell "your" right....
ScarletFever67 6
I am out of witty comebacks, let me just insult your grammar....