Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
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Top comments
Calyx_fml 22
I hit YDI after reading the first sentence.
Gothicbunnyx3 16
"hello?" "awh what's that smell?!?!?" click.
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Comments (165)
spaffler 2
It's legal to use the phone in plenty of states Get off OPs figurative dick. But ydi for not bein comfortable farting around your husband
kh_khedoyan 4
Farting is a normal thing!!! Everyone farts even I did while I wrote this comment
failgamer 7
It takes a higher level of education to get to this point
CL3V3RGURL 9
Well... Maybe you need to see a doctor or therapist about self consciousness. :/ It'll be okay..
Bored_18 3
Actually, studies have shown that talking while using a bluetooth or not while you drive does not make a difference. Also, someone in the car with you can warn you of incoming danger while someone you are talking on the phone cannot.
Bored_18 3
Talking on the phone with Bluetooth or without will use the same cognitive load in your brain. It's not that your hands are busy, but that you are using part of your cognitive load to pay attention to the conversation while you drive, so your response time will impacted by it.
Bored_18 3
You can look up on NYTimes - U.S. Withheld data on risks of distracted driving and also look up Strayer's and Johnston's (2001) Lab Experiment about stimulated driving task.
badactor009 0
You said it... Idiot. A smelly idiot.
GhostDuck 30
As son as I read the first sentence, I voted YDI. If you're stupid enough to use your phone while driving, you're definitely stupid enough to think someone can smell something through a phone. Don't even let me start on how dangerous doing that is... C'mon, bite me. I know. I'll get a lot of bullshit for saying that...
black6 1
Could have been worse
wes04ram1500 6
I would say you are an idiot, but by some miracle of god you seemed to have figured that out already. Now the key is, can you learn from it? Or will you continue to do idiotic things?