Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor...

By Gassy and sassy - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33871

You deserved it

6748

Favorite

Transportation

Dangling modifier

Too embarrassed to get them from a store?

F*** my overweight life

By goodgrief - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51744

You deserved it

8735

Favorite

By Anonymous - Oman

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13335

You deserved it

37155

Favorite

By unemployed

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call for an interview. Right in the middle of the call, my phone hung up so the music app could open. I tried calling them back and got no response. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2658

You deserved it

359

Favorite

By Da Boss - Canada - Calgary

Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I am now his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13812

You deserved it

1887

Favorite

By greeenbean - Samoa

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38297

You deserved it

3746

Favorite

By bucktooth - United Kingdom

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25346

You deserved it

2638

Favorite

By hypebeast - United States

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9021

You deserved it

32111

Favorite

By Username - France

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35245

You deserved it

5268

Favorite

By Stargirl - United States - Modesto

Today, in an attempt to support and encourage my efforts in getting a new job, my boyfriend said, "Imagine having triple what's in your bank account right now!" Triple what's in my bank account right now would be exactly $38.94. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5932

You deserved it

706

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33598

You deserved it

15137

Favorite

By confusedbagel - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42886

You deserved it

3976

Favorite

By K.S.S. - United States - Rushville

Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26391

You deserved it

4253

Favorite

By Trooper - United Kingdom - Caterham

Today, I saw the postman approach my house through the window, and my immediate reaction was to drop to the floor in fear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10801

You deserved it

2280

Favorite

By Franklin - United States - Fairbanks

Keeping it in the family!

Today, we got the results of our family's ancestry DNA tests. My father isn't related to me, but my grandfather is still my grandfather. Apparently grandma cheated on grandpa to get 'dad', and my mother cheated on 'dad' with my 'uncle' to get me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6137

You deserved it

277

Favorite

By Fubar0906 - United States

Today, I'm on vacation. I spent $4000 to surprise my boyfriend on a trip to Hawaii. We have been together over a year. Turns out, he hates the outdoors. He's mad at me for bringing him here and is upset at everything. He's in the room reading, I'm at the bar drinking $10 Mai Tai's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56437

You deserved it

17459

Favorite

By crazy mother in law

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45954

You deserved it

4990

Favorite

By gengiskarn69 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8944

You deserved it

38509

Favorite

By Snow White

Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3949

You deserved it

397

Favorite

By LeaveTheGuyAlone - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45349

You deserved it

5071

Favorite

By retailworker - 9/1/2020 14:00

Customer service

Today, at work, I was helping a customer over the phone. Another customer came and asked me a question. I let them know I'd be with them shortly. They then said "I really think you should hang up. The customer is always first." FML

I agree, your life sucks

7282

You deserved it

544

Favorite

By why - United States

Today, it's easier to buy a house than it is to get out of a gym contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21739

You deserved it

2166

Favorite

By damnit - Australia

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16744

You deserved it

63916

Favorite

By mykodu - Canada - Toronto

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35215

You deserved it

4849

Favorite

By peacechick25 - United States

Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10602

You deserved it

27569

Favorite

By anonymous

Today, my doctor told me I should consider a breast reduction. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38782

You deserved it

13508

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/1/2020 01:00

Still alive?

Today, after finally having the guts to confess to a guy I have liked for a year now and him saying he also likes me and then asking me out, I went out of my way and traveled 4 hours to meet him. He didn't show up and never apologized. I never heard anything from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2479

You deserved it

238

Favorite

By zoosmell pooplord - Norway - Geilo

Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25841

You deserved it

1721

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

48488

You deserved it

3930

Favorite

By xJade2012x - United States

Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13902

You deserved it

20514

Favorite

By "Audrey Harmon"

Today, my sister tackled me by the leg in a game of frisbee. I now know the unique sensation of a knee dislocating. It is not a beautiful one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4313

You deserved it

256

Favorite

By Joel_28 - Canada

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17414

You deserved it

20503

Favorite

By foreverashamed - Canada

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33558

You deserved it

6796

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32206

You deserved it

3291

Favorite

By Derpina - United States

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28414

You deserved it

5149

Favorite

By Todd - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23715

You deserved it

1935

Favorite

By babysitter - United States

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

84299

You deserved it

5121

Favorite

By NewRoommateNeededASAP - United States

Today, I skipped class and went to back my apartment early. I found that my roommate had broken into my room and was laying in my bed wearing my underwear, taking pictures of herself. Apparently, she's been doing it all semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11499

You deserved it

732

Favorite

By ? - United States

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40512

You deserved it

9896

Favorite

By lbelle - Canada - Montreal

Today, my right ear drum ruptured. My family doesn't understand that I only lost hearing in one ear and continues to talk about me behind my back, thinking I can't hear them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27534

You deserved it

1641

Favorite

By Anonymous - Romania - Bucharest

Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5384

You deserved it

607

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By nardledangers | 5

#6137941 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:29

Technically it was a gas leak.

By ComoEsJuan | 24

#6137936 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:28

The force is strong with this one.

COMMENTS

By ethawesome1125 | 10

#6137933 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:27

Your farts are that bad?

_parth | 20

#6137954 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:32

Taco Bell?

IAmzephyr | 22

#6137997 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:54

must have been some noxious fumes

By ComoEsJuan | 24

#6137936 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:28

The force is strong with this one.

False_Stupidity | 41

#6138060 - Sunday 7 December 2014 21:18

No, the farts is strong with this one

LittleRed79 | 39

#6138067 - Sunday 7 December 2014 21:31

#28, you were supposed to respond with "Strong with this one, the force is."
Opportunity missed!

By pratikp03 | 22

#6137937 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:28

U got saved from embarssement

UnidentifiedFun | 37

#6137964 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:36

Seriously, this is a half-FML

By DogeMan | 14

#6137939 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:28

Was the new car better? Hope u passed

15Erik | 21

#6138693 - Monday 8 December 2014 8:16

Passed the gas leak out of his ass...

By nardledangers | 5

#6137941 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:29

Technically it was a gas leak.

kittyfrozen | 19

#6138010 - Sunday 7 December 2014 20:04

yea, a methane gas leak

CootiesH | 5

#6621489 - Sunday 5 June 2016 7:03

thats what i was thinking

By decodeIM | 6

#6137942 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:29

Bit it was a "gas leak"... Get it?

By conman531 | 23

#6137949 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:31

A fart that could create a public health emergency

quickit | 24

#6137999 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:55

A fart that leaves you winded.

By thief1434 | 23

#6137953 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:31

I once cleared a room with such a fart.

LostInTheZone11 | 28

#6137968 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:38

My uncle will swear by this until he dies. He said I managed to get a fart to blow upwind.

thief1434 | 23

#6138017 - Sunday 7 December 2014 20:08

With such a power one could arguably rule the world.

badluckalex | 23

#6138018 - Sunday 7 December 2014 20:11

teach me your ways, senpai.

thief1434 | 23

#6138289 - Monday 8 December 2014 0:55

With great flatulence comes great responsibility; an untrained fartist often become entangled in their own blast :P

randomname98 | 22

#6138445 - Monday 8 December 2014 3:20

I've been sitting here laughing for like 15 minutes at this chain of comments.

NightHawk387 | 22

#6139111 - Monday 8 December 2014 19:59

#8, Pumbaa?

By teapotrevolt | 27

#6137955 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:33

Hahaha that's hilarious.

By drayloon | 50

#6137957 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:34

Well to be fair, it was some kindova gas leak