Transportation: Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor...

By Gassy and sassy - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

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Transportation

Rock, hard place

Bad timing

Bad Moon Rising

By get tf over it! - 30/6/2020 20:02

Cartoon villain

Today, I had a Skype interview for a wonderful new job. I was calm, cool and ready to land it. But just like in a bad movie, the interviewer ended up being the creepy guy I turned down repeatedly in high school and in our 20s. He smirked and told me I could continue, but it would be pointless. FML

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1639

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By anonyme - France - Grenoble

Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

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By verydepressed - Russian Federation - Seversk

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

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40859

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By kevcng - United States

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

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61130

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By foutu - France

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

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26610

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for a familiar reason; I apparently have night terrors that make me "Impossible to sleep in the same room with." I don't ever remember these dreams. Every other girlfriend I've had has ended up breaking things off with me for the same reason. FML

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By MariosNightmare - 18/12/2020 07:57 - Australia - Brisbane

Plumbed out

Today, what should've been a five-minute job replacing a drain turned into a 2 hour ordeal just to remove the old one. The original part was put in incorrectly, so whoever did it used a full tube of silicone to make it watertight. FML

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By ForgottenKid - United States

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

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35815

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By Nick - Australia - Sydney

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML

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So shite

Today, my date left the restaurant because I didn’t agree with his opinions about the mentally disabled or mixed race couples, etc. Basically, a real scumbag. He also left me the bill, and it turned out he had all the most expensive menu items, including a £120 bottle of wine. It cost over £300 total. FML

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2214

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By naagodinho - Portugal

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

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22831

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By failure - United States - Shreveport

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

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By AmberKCole - United States

Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML

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By Juliet - United States - Inglewood

Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML

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50340

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I told my mom about the severe phobia I've developed towards driving. She was very supportive and even made me an appointment to see a psychologist. His office is two hours away. I have to drive to see my doctor about my fear of driving. FML

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26596

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By thatguy - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML

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49604

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By Holding - United States - Staunton

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

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46062

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By hannahisacooler - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

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51224

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By Anonymous - Japan

Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML

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6935

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By Anonymous - Spain

Today, my seasonal allergies started. Most annoying thing by far this allergy season? I only get the urge to sneeze when I have food in my mouth. FML

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14517

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By oregongrl1991 - France

Today, my fiancé told me he didn't have the money to make payments on my engagement ring and that I either have to return it, or make the payments myself. Now we aren't engaged any more, and are "dating." FML

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31836

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By -_- - United States - Amherst

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML

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31396

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

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By oneloveliz

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

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3372

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By exasperated - United States - Houston

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

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By johnnydoe6969 - United States

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

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13711

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By ohhelllllno - Canada

Today, the $300 ring my boyfriend gave me for my birthday slipped off my finger... into the toilet. I had to sift through my own poo to get it back. FML

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66042

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

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15427

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By no that does not help - United States - Austin

Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

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By RedheadA - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was just wearing socks. FML

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38060

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By Dildno - United States - Worcester

Today, I was using my iPad for a presentation. I locked it and left it connected to the projector while I prepared to present. When I turned around to begin, I realized there had been a push notification from Groupon asking if I was still interested in a dildo. FML

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10188

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

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16994

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By Actor - United States

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

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24409

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By Anonymous - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

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31902

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

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By bear food - United States - Anaheim

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

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52538

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By Anonymous - United States - Redmond

Today, my mom texted me, asking what I'd like her to get for dinner tonight. I texted back "Something exotic if you're up for it :)". Except I accidentally typed "erotic". I only noticed the typo when I checked after getting no reply. She comes home in a couple of hours. Shit, shit, shit. FML

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23308

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By Anonymous - South Africa

Reasonable dude

Today, my fiancé told me that he expects me to agree to quit my job to cook and clean after we get married, or he will not show up at our wedding. He earns minimum wage and my salary is 17 times higher than his. FML

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Top comments

By nardledangers | 5

#6137941 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:29

Technically it was a gas leak.

By ComoEsJuan | 24

#6137936 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:28

The force is strong with this one.

COMMENTS

By ethawesome1125 | 10

#6137933 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:27

Your farts are that bad?

_parth | 20

#6137954 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:32

Taco Bell?

IAmzephyr | 22

#6137997 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:54

must have been some noxious fumes

By ComoEsJuan | 24

#6137936 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:28

The force is strong with this one.

False_Stupidity | 41

#6138060 - Sunday 7 December 2014 21:18

No, the farts is strong with this one

LittleRed79 | 39

#6138067 - Sunday 7 December 2014 21:31

#28, you were supposed to respond with "Strong with this one, the force is."
Opportunity missed!

By pratikp03 | 22

#6137937 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:28

U got saved from embarssement

UnidentifiedFun | 37

#6137964 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:36

Seriously, this is a half-FML

By DogeMan | 14

#6137939 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:28

Was the new car better? Hope u passed

15Erik | 21

#6138693 - Monday 8 December 2014 8:16

Passed the gas leak out of his ass...

By nardledangers | 5

#6137941 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:29

Technically it was a gas leak.

kittyfrozen | 19

#6138010 - Sunday 7 December 2014 20:04

yea, a methane gas leak

CootiesH | 5

#6621489 - Sunday 5 June 2016 7:03

thats what i was thinking

By decodeIM | 6

#6137942 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:29

Bit it was a "gas leak"... Get it?

By conman531 | 23

#6137949 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:31

A fart that could create a public health emergency

quickit | 24

#6137999 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:55

A fart that leaves you winded.

By thief1434 | 23

#6137953 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:31

I once cleared a room with such a fart.

LostInTheZone11 | 28

#6137968 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:38

My uncle will swear by this until he dies. He said I managed to get a fart to blow upwind.

thief1434 | 23

#6138017 - Sunday 7 December 2014 20:08

With such a power one could arguably rule the world.

badluckalex | 23

#6138018 - Sunday 7 December 2014 20:11

teach me your ways, senpai.

thief1434 | 23

#6138289 - Monday 8 December 2014 0:55

With great flatulence comes great responsibility; an untrained fartist often become entangled in their own blast :P

randomname98 | 22

#6138445 - Monday 8 December 2014 3:20

I've been sitting here laughing for like 15 minutes at this chain of comments.

NightHawk387 | 22

#6139111 - Monday 8 December 2014 19:59

#8, Pumbaa?

By teapotrevolt | 27

#6137955 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:33

Hahaha that's hilarious.

By drayloon | 50

#6137957 - Sunday 7 December 2014 19:34

Well to be fair, it was some kindova gas leak