Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
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Top comments
Calyx_fml 22
I hit YDI after reading the first sentence.
Gothicbunnyx3 16
"hello?" "awh what's that smell?!?!?" click.
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Comments (165)
xxZombieCookiexx 0
It's alright OP it's better cautious than embarrassed but I voted YDI an FYL :/
ILike_Dancing123 19
It's okay OP, I understand why you would do that. I bet your bet your not the only one. But if your married surely you'd be used to him and you farting around each other?
thewife5 19
I've been married 13 years and we don't fart in front of each other.
phatdaddy62 23
How about on top of each other?
xTheDoctorx 1
That's so sad... Can't even be comfortable around your own spouse... I'm so sorry for you.
prettyboodoll33 2
Everyone has blonde moments.:) so its okay.:)
misvenus000 4
First of all, you shouldn't be nervous about a fart around your husband. He farts too! It's hidden in the small print in your vows to love no matter how stinky :) Secondly, YDI for using your phone while driving. Tisk tisk!
MykeGregory 9
Thats what you get for using your phone at the wheel. You totally deserved it. :)
twifan1901 0
Yes you are
kjkjr27 5
Guess no one knows about Bluetooth or hands free calling in cars?
Angitia 8
Still distracting...
deviable 9
When calling someone you usually have something you need to tell them. It's been proven that aside from casual chats, conversations in cars are distracting to drivers. So with hands free and Bluetooth it is still dangerous to call someone while driving. It can usually wait until youre home.
xNephilim 19
Hands-free devices are okay to use while driving... It's exactly the same as having somebody sit in the car with you and you can't tell me you just quietly sit there until you get to where you're going...
wlddog 14
The first step to fixing a problem is admitting there is a problem in the first place.
zebralover23 14
wow, fyl lol, he can only hear you, he can't see you or smell anything, even if you were video calling, still wouldn't be able to smell it
Mguy 2
Thank you captain obvious
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
So many things wrong with this... First of all, calling while driving is illegal and just plain stupid. Secondly, if you're that embarrassed about farting in front of your husband there's something wrong... You should be comfortable and it shouldn't be THAT big of a deal.
JRockk 2
It's not illegal in all states
desireev 18
Oooh, ya know... Unless OP is actually a lady. I understand that couples need to be comfortable with eachother on every level, but it's still un-ladylike to fart in front of people. I know it's a natural thing and everyone does it, but it's still rude. There's a restroom for that! Thumb me down, if you please. But I am a lady. I am not going to fart in front of people just because I can. I have respect and standards for myself and I have respect for the people around me.