Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
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Top comments
Calyx_fml 22
I hit YDI after reading the first sentence.
Gothicbunnyx3 16
"hello?" "awh what's that smell?!?!?" click.
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Comments (165)
gonad_gobbler 1
A loud, odorous fart can ruin the moment in any situation for sure.
gader 3
Long distends farts sounds unique :-)
Sumo69 9
I wish my GF would put in that kind of effort into shield me from her gas
sacredeye73 11
Really??? You never rip a stinky one in front of your husband??? He's your husband! Farting is a natural body function. EVERY BODY DOES IT!!!!!
NoKittyMyPotPie 3
I fart in your general direction!
heyU70 0
That's funny!
DocBastard 40
The first step to recovering from Idiocy is admitting you're an idiot. You've already done that. Congratulations! Unfortunately there IS no recovery from Idiocy. So you're just an idiot.
infaith 5
make more sense please...*thumbs down*
benhd1 14
It does make sense Make no babies please *thumbs down*
mikeymayhem_87 15
Smelling through your phone? There will be an app for that!
rattusrattus 19
... Come back from the future, sweetie. Smelephones haven't been invented yet, and gods willing, they never will.
Pegasister_fml 5
They haven't?! D: MY LIFE IS A LIE!
Mearemoi 14
YDI for: 1. Calling while driving. 2. For being an idiot.