Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
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Top comments
Calyx_fml 22
I hit YDI after reading the first sentence.
Gothicbunnyx3 16
"hello?" "awh what's that smell?!?!?" click.
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Comments (165)
spottyblanket 8
Calling someone on the phone while driving is against the law. You could have killed someone. Pull over first next time.
tj4234 36
I know it's not illegal in the US like it is here, but talking on the phone whilst driving is dangerous. So YDI straight away...
vbmg152 19
Wow, you are an idiot!!! YDI!! Stay off the phone while driving!!! It might be me or my kid you kill!!!
Phendraana 0
this is by far one of the funniest FMLs I've read in a long time
linda_stone 13
You really are stupid. You should not be allowed to drive at all.
dr_tired13 4
Do they have a your an idiot button to press?
acronach 5
*PFFT* "hello?" *click*
IU_rocks 1
If your that uncomfortable around your husband, you probably should have married someone else!!
kiddyazz 1
Lmfao
agreedtodisagree 4
I wanna fart on your face now for some reason.