Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that boasted "easy, step-by-step instructions." Three hours later, surrounded by mismatched screws and a confusing diagram, I realized the only thing "easy" about it was my decision to ask my dad to come round and assemble it for me. FML
Today, I had a hard time directing my dad to where we were supposed to throw out our broken toilets when we replaced them with new ones. I kept saying to go to the right. Unfortunately I was talking about MY right, not HIS right, and he was walking backwards. It wasn't until I said "other way" that he got it. FML
Today, my husband and son had their first DIY project. Less than 30 minutes later, our son’s crying in his room. Turns out my husband is just like his dad. “WHY ARE YOU STANDING DOING NOTHING? PASS ME THE THING. NOT THAT THING, THE OTHER THING. HERE, I’LL DO IT MYSELF. PAY ATTENTION, GOD DAMMIT.” FML
Today, we realized we had a problem with two appliances. Their manuals were in a high cabinet. My husband got down the one for the appliance he was working on, but left the one I needed up too high for me to reach. I got the step stool and said, "OK" as I climbed up. My husband flipped and yelled that I am "disrespectful." FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
Today, after I bought my house, my dad forced me to do all the DIY with him because I needed to know how to do it myself, but my sister just bought her house and not only did dad hire tradesmen to do a lot of the work, he forced me to do a lot of it as well. Never before have I wished I was a girl too. FML
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
Today, and every time I want to try something new, my dad starts pointing out why it’s a stupid idea, or how it will obviously go wrong, and gets himself so worked up that in the end he’s just shouting at me while I cower, yet it also makes him mad when I just sit in my room with no hobbies. FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that claimed to be "easy to build in minutes." Four hours and multiple arguments later, I realized I had misread the instructions, and half the parts were upside down. I'm pretty sure the furniture won this round. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
flamegrilled123 3
Now pull up a chair and watch him ruin the parts
BeefyQueef 5
Your dads right. Real men don't use manuals!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (281)
flamegrilled123 3
Now pull up a chair and watch him ruin the parts
kjcookie10 9
Never mess with a man and his tools once he has an idea in his head... He ain't changin his mind.
icefshng8 9
What has FML come to?!? An FML about being told to shut up? Who HASN'T had that happen to them?!?
SecretMe00 5
Ya I agree with 1... Unless he's built it before, he's going to end up messing things up.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
My dad did the same with my basketball hoop... too bad when I dunked it the whole thing fell on me dislocating my shoulder. I refused to let him "fix" it and drove myself to the hospital. Damn his pride, thinking he knows how to build everything.
CapnAwesome 11
Move out
rooh123 5
Was it by chance Top Ramen?
Pentium_4 27
that is kind of man law. throw away the manual first thing ;)
StoryOfTheYear 15
54- No, that's stupid-**** law, but I'm hoping OP's dad said that because he knows exactly what he's doing and not because of flat out stupidity.
Pentium_4 27
it was a joke, and it flew straight over your head
_Oblivion_ 12
Dads *usually (60/40) know what they are doing, depending on what they do for a living. My dad is a carpenter/ construction super and he know shitloads. Meanwhile my friend's dad doesnt know what a drill bit is and isn't well educated.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Yeah but your dad would probably be building the shelf from scratch, no instruction manual in the first place. I'm thinking that the OPs dad doesn't know what he's doing if the OP felt it was necessary to suggest the manual and the Dad felt insulted enough to respond the way he did.
_Oblivion_ 12
yeah thats sounds like it. Btw my dad built my whole 2 story house haha, except the plumbing, electrical, etc.
amyjadee 0
YAHH, And make him a sandwich while you're at it!
AmbrosiaWriter 17
That sounds pretty neat actually. The best I can do is design houses in The Sims. >.>
StoryOfTheYear 15
67- I knew it was a joke. That is why I made a joke in return, which flew over your head.
_Oblivion_ 12
I love building and sketching. It doesnt matter if your good, if your finished product is close to your idea, you did it right.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Ha! That's what I say to myself when I draw out character designs/outfits for my stories. "IT GETS THE POINT ACROSS!" - I still consider it really bad, haha. I'll stick with writing.
Pentium_4 27
haha, well sorry man it didn't seem like a joke cause you said it was a stupid-**** law. no hard feelings, and story of the year is great in concert. cheers
Idonebeenhad 17
"He suggested I should probably shut the **** up and do it his way." That's what she said? :S
buck33 14
Since when have guys used instruction manuals?
ghostfacekilla33 2
but it wasnt funny 57
onlyoncamera 0
Well, did his way work??…
EmperorXing 0
Just call Bob the Builder
Llama_Face89 34
CAN WE BUILD IT?!
death_dolphin24 0
YES WE CAN!
CowOven 7
70- I thought it was "Can we fix it?"
Jaxx66 21
Just what my father did. Usually by the end of it he was cursing the manufacturer for putting in extra bolts to confuse you.
raider27 7
CAN WE FIX IT? NO IT'S ******! No, nobody has seen that.... Never mind
mango260 9
192- FAIL
farnsworth 3
The only thing I learnt from watching my dad is how to hold a light
NeonGingaNinja 8
132- To answer your question. "Bob the Builder Can we fix it? Bob the Builder Yes, we can! Scoop, Muck and Dizzy and Roley too Lofty and Wendy join the crew Pilchard and Bird, Travis and Spud Playing together like good friends should Bob the Builder Can we fix it? Bob the Builder Yes, we can! Hey! Time to get busy, such a lot to do Building and fixing till it's good as new Bob and the gang have so much fun Working together, they get the job done Can we build it? Yeah! Can we fix it? Yeah! Bob the Builder Can we fix it? Bob the Builder Yes, we can! (Yeah!)"
Llama_Face89 34
132- yes but they were building the shelf not fixing it.
friedchickenpie 14
240 - wtf?
lovelyheart13 0
I agree with this comment
dsbs 9
How hard could it be to build a shelf?
StoryOfTheYear 15
Unless you are a psychiatrist he needs a bit more help than just yours.
thisisafunnyname 12
OP is a guy
Poser1337 5
Sounds like a normal man to me.
mango260 9
Yay for psychiatrists! ;D
DarkMoon123 0
wait wat?
SilverGTP99 8
By the looks of #4's profile picture, no wonder it's got 31 ????
margie2194 12
Was it from Ikea? Cuz the instructions are all BS then.
cosmosis 12
Cuz? Surely op is not your cousin..... Ikea instructions are simple. A monkey could figure it out!!!
margie2194 12
The instructions are easy but it NEVER turns out like the picture.
Dark__Angel66 24
Thats because Ikea furniture is cheap. Not always in price, but in quality yes.
olpally 33
I work at ikea.. They're easy as **** to read.. You must be a total f***ing retard to not be able to read those simple instructions..
freelove_fml 2
Ikea's instructions are actually quite straightforward and, for the most part, precise. Those complaining that "it doesn't turn out that way" are most probably just ******* it up and should go back to Lego.
suiteman 4
121- Why did you * out one of the F words in your comment but not the other?
margie2194 12
Contrary to popular belief I'm actually literate and I can read thank you very much. Calling someone a "retard" on the Internet. That's really so childish it makes me chuckle
olpally 33
135 i try being civil.. don't worry about that.. 145-you can follow instructions(you being very literate and all) but you wouldn't be able to build it even after reading the instructions properly? explain that one to me smart one.. you may not be a retard, but you're an idiot, that's for sure..
Tazmanianboo 5
You responded when you could have let it go.
anencephalic 14
145 - You make me chuckle, win-win, I suppose?
margie2194 12
Never once did I state that the instructions are difficult to follow. And I'm sure im not an idiot. It's very rude to insult people you barely know. Surely your parents taught you that?
tennischik211 11
And this is relevant to the FML how?
reginal 9
#145..y don't you just shut the f*** up already you always say stupid comments. No one likes you!
margie2194 12
I have lots of non virtual people that like me. I don't need approval from pixels. :)
kei1108 13
Margie, just ignore them and stop replying. There is no pleasing them. There is always that person on FML who picks one comment which they think is weak or dumb and then everyone else follows; pummeling it to-no-end. So no matter what you say, the FMLers will hold a grudge against you for eternity. So just leave it alone. Thanks for reading; just trying to make peace! :)
periwinkle95 10
Don't you guys remember Margie from the other FML? There was like this huge discussion about true love haha
DarkMoon123 0
Well, add me to your list of virtual people who don't like you.
DarkMoon123 0
Well, add me to your list of virtual people who don't like you.
SilverGTP99 8
You've got to be the most ugliest person I've ever seen.
SilverGTP99 8
Your really ugly.
SilverGTP99 8
How in the world can someone be so ugly?
leadman1989 16
198 - I've seen witty/ charming FMLers turn it around. She is neither.
Epsilonyx 15
Some of you people on FML really need to learn to shut the **** up and stop harassing others.
beelee1988 13
145 - I think when 121 said what they did. I believe they were speaking about people in general. Not you. But hey if I'm wrong, then I'm wrong and it doesn't matter. But you can't take shit so seriously on the internet.
lindon555 0
Little girl. U need to be quiet
tmoneysly 7
Margie shut the **** up
yogamaster9000 0
Simply don't help him
nitemastr15 17
I agree with 5
nitemastr15 17
I agree with 5
KiddNYC1O 22
Hey, everyone, 60 agrees with 5!!
Unsorrowful 1
Hahaha beaked by your dad lmao! FYL
ladyLALAA 29
That's like trying to give a man a map!
Savra_fml 17
7, giving a guy a map is fine. The problems begin when we are given driving instructions....then we actually ask for a map.
StoryOfTheYear 15
No, no, I know exactly where we are. We'll be home in less than an hour.
Llama_Face89 34
It's more like trying to get a dude to ASK for directions....
ValerieStar 5
Hahaha! That's exactly how it is. Men are stubborn.
monkeysareyummy 0
Or telling him to make his own damn sandwich..
SaMmIMonster96 6
I'm a woman and don't use manuals. I'm fact my dad tells me to haha
silvercamaro 22
Almost as stubborn as women
ladyLALAA 29
Says the three year old ^^
BeefyQueef 5
Your dads right. Real men don't use manuals!
thenoobftw 3
Real men need balls!
SmallBean 12
Real men have balls
KiddNYC1O 22
Real men need balls? Hmmm.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Real men don't give two flying-squirrels what other people think of them whether it be because they RTFM or because they bite off chicken's heads.
bobbycorwen 5
General Beatrix!
AmbrosiaWriter 17
*Waves*
Monkeybuttcream 4
Sorry guys, I wasn't paying attention (too busy building shit without manuals) What did I miss?
ThunderLightTSV 31
Real men don't need to ask for directions either, huh...
getoustahere 7
Wait till he screws up, then blow it in his face! XD
jonriise18 3
Blow what in his face!? LOL
Llama_Face89 34
I feel that would be kinda awkward with ones dad...
getoustahere 7
Haha Someone's dirty minded!
brianfantana32 10
When it falls on him, you will get the last laugh
TheDrifter 24
It's a shelf. Half a dozen parts and a dozen fasteners with pre drilled holes. (Assuming its ikea or some such) Are FMLers really stupid enough to need directions for that?
AmbrosiaWriter 17
What if it's not IKEA and isn't one of those shelves where every last little thing is prepared for the purchaser? I can see a few in my house right now that you probably wouldn't be able to assemble just by looking at all the bits spread out on the floor. Not everyone buys their furniture from IKEA. Assuming one way or the other is really pointless though, so it's better to not.
TheDrifter 24
Let me revise that. It's a SHELF. They are not complicated, the design should be common sense to anyone looking at the collection of parts.