Today, my husband and son had their first DIY project. Less than 30 minutes later, our son’s crying in his room. Turns out my husband is just like his dad. “WHY ARE YOU STANDING DOING NOTHING? PASS ME THE THING. NOT THAT THING, THE OTHER THING. HERE, I’LL DO IT MYSELF. PAY ATTENTION, GOD DAMMIT.” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son screamed at me to fuck off. Apparently, because he only gets one day off a week, he’s sick of me saving up all my projects and forcing him to help me on that one day. He’s now barricaded himself in his room with a big DO IT YOURSELF on the door. FML
Today, I started keeping track. From 7 am to 8:30 pm, my wife, my 11 year-old son, and my 9 year-old daughter screamed for my help 154 times. Every time, it was the most mundane, trivial shit that they could have solved with a nanosecond of critical thinking, but no, easier to bother Dad for everything. FML
Today, my dad is infuriating by increasingly asking me to do things around the house, but because he doesn’t like how I do them he yells at me and then does it himself. It’s almost like he cares more about inventing excuses to yell at me than he does to actually get things done. FML
Today, my son came running in, saying he had a project due tomorrow. I asked when it was assigned; he said two weeks ago. I refused to help, saying that he failed to act responsibly and had to live with the consequences. Now he's throwing a tantrum and my wife is screaming at me. FML
Today, after days of my wife nagging me, I started working on the flat pack furniture she ordered. Every twenty minutes, she interrupted me to demand I stop and help her with something trivial and irrelevant. Now I remember why I postpone projects as long as possible. FML
Today, in response to the guy whose son told him to fuck off for disturbing his one day off a week, my son spent literally his entire savings account for a deposit on a shitbox one bedroom house because he’s sick of his dad finding him things to do every ten minutes, and I don’t even blame him. FML
Today, my ex, who only came back into our kids' lives a year ago, is bitching and moaning he can’t teach our son anything because he's already taught it to himself with DIY instructional YouTube videos. Did he really think our son was going to wait four years to learn to use a drill or buzz saw? FML
Today, my son was crying and my dad's way of helping was to go to the pub for an hour, then come back after my son had cried himself to sleep. I’d have kicked him out but he does a lot of other things around here, and I couldn’t cope without him. It doesn’t stop him being an insensitive prick. FML
Today, my husband suddenly decided he was going to stop talking about all the changes he needed to make, and finally do them. That's great, except that in less than a day, he lost his shit at me and our young kids for not immediately fixing everything about ourselves as well. They're still sobbing and he doesn't care. FML
Today, and every time I want to try something new, my dad starts pointing out why it’s a stupid idea, or how it will obviously go wrong, and gets himself so worked up that in the end he’s just shouting at me while I cower, yet it also makes him mad when I just sit in my room with no hobbies. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FluffythePink 23
Next thing you hear is hubby bitching that his son doesn't want to join in with any projects again... Or talk to your son, explain that Dad has a problem he doesn't understand and ask him to do it just once more, so you can record your husband's arseholery and play it back to him. It's difficult to dismiss your own cuntishness when it's right there in full volume technicolour in front of you. Depends on how old and mature your lad is but showing hubby the cold brutal mirror of his father screaming at him out of his own mouth could be a decent reality check.
Hangryko 32
Your husband needs therapy. Your son definitely will if he keeps this up.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
Hangryko 32
Your husband needs therapy. Your son definitely will if he keeps this up.
FluffythePink 23
Next thing you hear is hubby bitching that his son doesn't want to join in with any projects again... Or talk to your son, explain that Dad has a problem he doesn't understand and ask him to do it just once more, so you can record your husband's arseholery and play it back to him. It's difficult to dismiss your own cuntishness when it's right there in full volume technicolour in front of you. Depends on how old and mature your lad is but showing hubby the cold brutal mirror of his father screaming at him out of his own mouth could be a decent reality check.