Today, I let my little sister play a game using my Facebook account.... - FML

By KaityK - 19/4/2016 19:15 - United States

Today, I let my little sister play a game using my Facebook account. She then accepted all of the people that had sent me a friend request. Among them included my boyfriend's crazy ex, and 3 people I've never met. Now I'm getting strange messages from all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18167

You deserved it

4972

Tweet

Share

Proactive

Does it taste good?

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

By Bekah - 4/7/2011 13:24 - United States

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37496

You deserved it

4404

Tweet

Share

By roomie487 - 6/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41098

You deserved it

4308

Tweet

Share

By virginmary - 6/12/2009 08:07 - United States

Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37335

You deserved it

3162

Tweet

Share

By Nick - 8/7/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59300

You deserved it

11725

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/8/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13510

You deserved it

68842

Tweet

Share

By he is going to hell - 18/9/2012 21:46 - Australia - Forestville

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34252

You deserved it

2119

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/8/2009 13:34 - United States

Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16648

You deserved it

117021

Tweet

Share

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36596

You deserved it

18228

Tweet

Share

By deadgrass - 29/3/2012 00:44 - United States - Middletown

Heavenly Shower

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25572

You deserved it

1918

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/7/2010 00:39 - United Kingdom

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40682

You deserved it

16799

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/4/2016 12:29 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my friend invited me to his boxing club for the first time. Since I'm somewhat short and scrawny-looking, he was worried that the workout would be too difficult for me. I waved him off and told him that I was tougher than I looked. Five minutes into class, I sprained my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18825

You deserved it

4868

Tweet

Share

By Childhood - 12/12/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, I went to my little cousin's school to pick her up and it happened to be my old elementary school. I saw my old teacher and went up to say hi, and after a few minutes she goes "Aren't you the girl who's dad always came in drunk on parent's day?" Nice to know that's how I'm remembered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31256

You deserved it

2733

Tweet

Share

By RC3Welly - 9/3/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

634560

You deserved it

793263

Tweet

Share

By Sammylad - 7/9/2011 22:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30802

You deserved it

15255

Tweet

Share

By mchhhoi - 20/7/2009 06:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and were I getting it on in his bedroom where he had all of his anime models on display. I accidentally knocked over one of his models and it fell on to the floor. He got angry and kicked me out. Apparently, making his models look good was more important than us making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43491

You deserved it

13265

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/1/2014 19:44 - United Kingdom - Alfreton

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50893

You deserved it

3894

Tweet

Share

By nutfreak - 12/8/2013 15:24 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52448

You deserved it

3609

Tweet

Share

By embarrassment - 12/6/2009 13:46 - Canada

Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53178

You deserved it

8309

Tweet

Share

By Samantha - 30/10/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25138

You deserved it

42670

Tweet

Share

By divorcee - 6/9/2012 03:27 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27948

You deserved it

4051

Tweet

Share

By gotitEVERYWHERE - 8/3/2010 22:40 - United States

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

25047

You deserved it

6799

Tweet

Share

By dammit - 23/5/2017 04:00

Today, my grandma was arrested for throwing her cane at a man who she thought was mocking her walk. That man was my boyfriend's father, who limps because of his cerebral palsy. He refuses to drop the assault charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4682

You deserved it

563

Tweet

Share

By Charon - 9/10/2009 22:11 - United States

Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouts "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41235

You deserved it

3799

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/12/2011 12:40 - Australia

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26971

You deserved it

3253

Tweet

Share

By mav3rick91 - 1/3/2010 08:30 - United States

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25911

You deserved it

3262

Tweet

Share

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/8/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46851

You deserved it

3059

Tweet

Share

By justin bieber's nutsack - 6/6/2015 07:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28901

You deserved it

2745

Tweet

Share

By Pill popping zit monster - 23/12/2016 04:16

Today, my period has given to me 4 giant zits, 3 screaming shits, 2 stomach ulcers, and a fever blister on my lips. A few days until Christmas and the gifts keep coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7079

You deserved it

632

Tweet

Share

By jackie89 - 10/8/2014 19:26 - United Kingdom - Redruth

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57330

You deserved it

7397

Tweet

Share

By negativesoup - 10/11/2016 18:44

Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9163

You deserved it

657

Tweet

Share

By joanikens - 26/3/2016 19:02 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23972

You deserved it

6027

Tweet

Share

By Dan - 8/10/2009 16:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my leaving party after work to celebrate getting a new job. 3 people turned up. I'd invited 35. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33908

You deserved it

5389

Tweet

Share

By Man Shamed - 29/6/2019 10:00 - United States - Hyattsville

Today, while using the bathroom in a small coffee shop, I somehow passed out sitting on the toilet. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the vicious banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons attempting to break down a door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5313

You deserved it

1046

Tweet

Share

By mackamuir - 1/4/2016 13:01 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23832

You deserved it

1761

Tweet

Share

By swollenpenis - 25/1/2013 06:11 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48262

You deserved it

4723

Tweet

Share

By owned - 24/1/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36317

You deserved it

4398

Tweet

Share

By hatemylife - 19/7/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46809

You deserved it

6888

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/4/2012 06:27 - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28221

You deserved it

3086

Tweet

Share

By Peter Parker - 30/8/2016 23:19 - United States - Redlands

Today, after a few days of getting what seemed like an odd, scattered rash every time I showered, I finally figured out the problem. It turns out I wasn't just allergic to all the different soap I tried. Apparently a family of very angry spiders have decided to make my loofah their new home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16096

You deserved it

1834

Tweet

Share

By Amy - 10/5/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24893

You deserved it

5200

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By slavka012 | 11

#6584220 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:31

Stop whining, unfriend them back and block if needed. Problem solved.

By iiTzNeeNerz | 26

#6584219 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:30

Well, lucky for you there's an unfriend/unfollow option. You might want to use the block button on the ex though. Just as a precaution.

Comments

By iiTzNeeNerz | 26

#6584219 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:30

Well, lucky for you there's an unfriend/unfollow option. You might want to use the block button on the ex though. Just as a precaution.

Reply

LizziSlotwinski | 10

#6584221 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:32

I agree, block him. Cause it could lead to a bad situation.

By slavka012 | 11

#6584220 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:31

Stop whining, unfriend them back and block if needed. Problem solved.

Reply

Ihavegas | 22

#6584233 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:50

could you say that in arnies voice in kindergaten cop.

Reply

chosha_fml | 25

#6584812 - Thursday 21 April 2016 0:48

Seriously. Would have taken less time than writing the FML.

By Death546 | 25

#6584222 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:33

And the problem is? Just I friend them, it's that easy.

Reply

muarif | 19

#6584371 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 16:55

Unfriend*

Reply

MikaykayUnicorn | 36

#6585133 - Thursday 21 April 2016 11:01

So we're really gonna down vote #4 for making a mistake and up vote #28 for correcting them when we all fucking knew what 4 meant? Okay.

By amileah13 | 26

#6584224 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:35

Delete, block, don't let other people use your Facebook.

By Mathalamus | 23

#6584229 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:42

just remove them again.

Reply

zach205 | 24

#6584303 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 15:28

He then just becomes unfriendable Larry.

By mylsux | 15

#6584236 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:58

You should probably let your sister know about the friend requests and not to accept them until she gets an ok from you

By Redmond64 | 16

#6584241 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 13:03

Dont let your sister use your facebook. Cmon

By jwill200 | 16

#6584242 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 13:04

That's why you always say no and don't just ignore them

By demamcgirl16 | 21

#6584247 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 13:08

Maybe you should talk to your sister about online privacy, so that she knows to be aware of things like this if she ever gets her own Facebook/ social media account.

By cfnavyusn | 6

#6584250 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 13:14

you have the option to delete the request if you don't want to add them, just for future reference. You can also unfriend and block them if need be.