Miscellaneous: Today, I let my little sister play a game using my Facebook account.... - FML

By KaityK - United States

Today, I let my little sister play a game using my Facebook account. She then accepted all of the people that had sent me a friend request. Among them included my boyfriend's crazy ex, and 3 people I've never met. Now I'm getting strange messages from all of them. FML

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Can't win

Kitchen nightmares

Money hole

By Swatted - United States - Sparks

Today, a model I've been working on for an art competition was declined. They thought I was being insensitive and "rudely glorifying 9/11". My model was about the ending scene of King Kong. I spent twenty hours on that model. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Vaudreuil

Be careful what you post on the Internet…

Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days-old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML

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By greenandswirly - United States - Columbia City

Today, I injured my knee at a Zumba class, a class I joined to lose weight so my knees wouldn't hurt so much. Now I can't even go for a leisurely walk. FML

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By Authentik8 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML

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By randa

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

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By padthaimeanoose - Canada - Surrey

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML

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By mylovelifeisanepicfail - United Kingdom - London

Today, I discovered that the man I have been talking to on a dating site is actually my ex-boyfriend. He created a fake profile and made me fall for someone that doesn't exist. We got on better anonymously than we ever did in 3 years together. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

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By henry feingold - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/8/2020 05:02

A mind of its own

Today, I realized I'm getting fat. When going for a drive, I plugged my phone in to listen to music. I put the phone in my lap to start driving and my gut changed the song. FML

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By a-scared - United States

Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML

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By Anonymous

Constructive criticism

Today, I had just finished a really intense workout in my garage gym. It was chilly outside, but I crossed the road home in my shorts, as I was still pretty hot and sweaty. A woman walked by and asked, "Aren't you cold, you skinny little whore?" FML

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By Snurkles - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

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By Anonymous - France

Today, I gave a beautiful book of baby names to a friend of mine who's been trying to get pregnant for a while. She just burst into tears when she saw it. Just before meeting me, she'd found out she was sterile. FML

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By fucking hate bitches

Today, I realized that the girl I like only replies to my snapchats if I include my dog in the picture. FML

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By heartbroke - United States - Erie

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I used a blanket outside for a picnic. Later, while throwing it in the washer, I noticed a lizard jump out to land inbetween the bowl and the side. Then I noticed a wasp had joined it. I'm scared to open my washer now. FML

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By andy1r - Bolivia

Today, my future mother-in-law gave me advice on life. One piece of advice was that I should leave her son. FML

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By beccav23 - United States

He's got the moves

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

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By giantcuntflaps - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

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By Brandon Lafantaisie - 3/5/2020 14:00

Back in the red

Today, I sneezed and pulled every muscle in my lower back. For the third time in two years, after $3000+ in physiotherapy. Round 3, here we come. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Pleasanton

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

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By JennieA

Today, I woke up to all 4 of my wheels stolen from my car. The thieves were kind enough to leave the car resting on wooden blocks and bricks. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - South Salem

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

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By givemestrength - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss expects me to conduct a meeting with a client, give him all the info he needs, and manage his campaign. This is because he fired the "expensive" marketing director and wants me, the intern, to continue his work. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I watched "The Vow" with my girlfriend. When the movie ended, we walked out to the theatre's lobby, and I heard her mutter, "I deserve a guy like him." FML

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By MadameM - United States

Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML

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By Steven - United Kingdom - Llanelli

Judgmental much?

Today, at a supermarket, I ran into a girl I knew in high school. She had 2 kids with her and they were buying school supplies. My cart was full of beer and snacks. After a chat, she left, not before saying, "I hope things get better for you." I have a job and a girlfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - Vietnam

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Delta

Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

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By pinky - Australia

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

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By Baby Bethy - United States

Today, I went to bed at noon after having driven 11 hours from Washington to Maine. I missed my flight due to a delayed plane, and was told there were no open flights the next 2 days. I'd been driving my $200 rental car for 1.5 hrs when the airport told me, over the phone, that there was in fact a flight available. FML

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By Nurse

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

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By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

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By birthday girl - Australia

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

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By Gangnam - Sweden - Bromma

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

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By NJ - United States

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend that I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlock our flat to see that the place was a mess. She had thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

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By FML - Sweden

Today, after having recently moved 300 miles to be with my boyfriend of 2 years, I have to celebrate Christmas alone. He never thought our relationship important enough to tell his family about me, and doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

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By julieb - United States

Today, I was putting on cream and my son asked what it was for. I told him it was to keep the wrinkles away. He looked at me closely and replied, "I don't think it's working." FML

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Top comments

By slavka012 | 11

#6584220 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:31

Stop whining, unfriend them back and block if needed. Problem solved.

By iiTzNeeNerz | 26

#6584219 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:30

Well, lucky for you there's an unfriend/unfollow option. You might want to use the block button on the ex though. Just as a precaution.

COMMENTS

By iiTzNeeNerz | 26

#6584219 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:30

Well, lucky for you there's an unfriend/unfollow option. You might want to use the block button on the ex though. Just as a precaution.

Reply

LizziSlotwinski | 10

#6584221 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:32

I agree, block him. Cause it could lead to a bad situation.

By slavka012 | 11

#6584220 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:31

Stop whining, unfriend them back and block if needed. Problem solved.

Reply

Ihavegas | 22

#6584233 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:50

could you say that in arnies voice in kindergaten cop.

Reply

chosha_fml | 25

#6584812 - Thursday 21 April 2016 0:48

Seriously. Would have taken less time than writing the FML.

By Death546 | 25

#6584222 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:33

And the problem is? Just I friend them, it's that easy.

Reply

muarif | 19

#6584371 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 16:55

Unfriend*

Reply

MikaykayUnicorn | 36

#6585133 - Thursday 21 April 2016 11:01

So we're really gonna down vote #4 for making a mistake and up vote #28 for correcting them when we all fucking knew what 4 meant? Okay.

By amileah13 | 26

#6584224 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:35

Delete, block, don't let other people use your Facebook.

By Mathalamus | 24

#6584229 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:42

just remove them again.

Reply

zach205 | 24

#6584303 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 15:28

He then just becomes unfriendable Larry.

By mylsux | 15

#6584236 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 12:58

You should probably let your sister know about the friend requests and not to accept them until she gets an ok from you

By Redmond64 | 16

#6584241 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 13:03

Dont let your sister use your facebook. Cmon

By jwill200 | 16

#6584242 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 13:04

That's why you always say no and don't just ignore them

By demamcgirl16 | 21

#6584247 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 13:08

Maybe you should talk to your sister about online privacy, so that she knows to be aware of things like this if she ever gets her own Facebook/ social media account.

By cfnavyusn | 6

#6584250 - Wednesday 20 April 2016 13:14

you have the option to delete the request if you don't want to add them, just for future reference. You can also unfriend and block them if need be.